How does someone stop complaining about things and become less selfish? I complain about everything.?

Question

I am trying to be a better person. I find that I complain a lot, often to myself about other people, other times to people about others, which is gossip. How do I stop this?

Answer 1

IS THIS COOL OR WHAT??????? You've identified a couple of issues with yourself you want to correct. So few people do that....and so many ought to. You could try this on the negativity deal; put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative, snap the band, enough to sting. You're giving yourself negative reinforcement for your behavior and making yourself more conscious of how often you do it. Gossip is horrible. A few years ago I decided I would stop gossiping. I only say nice things about people to other people. You would not believe how much my life has improved....in so many aspects. Also, start your day with 3 minutes quiet time, where you think about what you have to be grateful for, and re-resolve not to be negative or gossipy. Honest, if you can stick with your resolve for a while, your life will get so much better. And if you backslide, just keep on trying. Life is a wonderful journey if you let it be, and you're on the right track. I salute you!
Edit: Do you work? If you'd like, I'll tell you another little secret that will help you soooo much at work. Let me know.

Answer 2

You're even complaining about complaining....Sorry..couldn't help it. Well, the complaining to yourself, you're not really hurting anybody else, but why would you want to? That can't do anything but add stress on your own shoulders. Gossip is what makes the celebrities richer...but seriously..every time you get the "urge" or want to talk about someone try thinking that there are so many other things to do. Put it this way... If people were to talk about you "gossip" about you, how would you feel? Put your self in the shoes of the people you are talking about and what you're saying about them. Even innocent comments can truly hurt a person. That would stop me from gossiping, because I truly dislike hurting anyones feelings.

Answer 3

If you cannot merely stop by force of will than you need to implement a penalty for your actions so that you will be more motivated to change. You could attempt the same method some would use for stopping swearing; whenever you complain or make a selfish act you add a preset amount of money to a Jar (or whatever) say 25 cents, that could be donated to charity; or only reclaimed once you feel that your problem is cured. It makes your problem of complaining more real when you have to keep giving your money away as compensation... Eventually you will begin to see each act of complaining or selfishness as as a negative... "Is it really worth saying?" and hopefully help you to change.

Answer 4

Instead of complaining, think of the things you have to be thankful for. If you want to stop gossiping, it's going to take a big effort. Think of something you like about that person, & if you don't have anything good to say about them, don't say it! You'll feel a lot better about yourself & the people you are around if you can do this.

Answer 5

Next time you feel you are going to complain, consider why you are doing it.
Does it make you feel better? Probably not, or you wouldn't be asking this here.
Does it resolve anything? No, for the same reason.
If you have a problem with someone, I would suggest you either button it or go and talk to the person who can help you - the one you want to complain about. That way you may - no guarantees in this life - feel better and get the problem resolved.

Answer 6

Be grateful, really feel the gratitude for what you have.

Are you comfortable right now? Are you fed? Do you have a friend? Employment? A roof over your head? You obviously have electricity and a computer. Feel your heart fill with GRATITUDE.

Sometimes when I feel like you described all I have to do is something charitable, or do a small act of kindness.

Go pet a cat at the animal shelter and make it's day. It's free, it won't take that long and I'll bet you won't feel like complaining afterwards!

Answer 7

Before you say anything, stop, and think how it would sound to the person you're talking about and how you would feel if they overheard. About complaining, I try to see at least 1 good thing in everything.I think there's always a silver lining.You just need to find it.At the very least every experience is an opportunity to grow as a person.

Answer 8

You are aware of it which is a good first step. You can try and condition yourself that when you are about to open up your mouth to complain, try to offer a more positive reaction or just close your mouth and don't say anything. I guess eventually this can become second nature.
Gossip can be fun but it's also very damaging. You need to try your best not to contribute to the gossipy conversation by either keeping your mouth shut, or just smile and walk away.

Answer 9

i guess one way is to try to think about the good things you have and to concentrate on the hard life that other people have, always try to make yourself see the other person's point of view, instead of your own; you just have to start projecting out instead of in. it takes time, but you can form the habit with effort. like if someone makes you angry, try to have empathy like, wow they must be having a really stressful day. also remember that most people have no idea of the effect they have on others. most people only think of themselves, so they have no clue when they are doing something that you find annoying.

Answer 10

Go volunteer at a homeless shelter and help people who REALLY have something to complain about. It will put it all in perspective. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Good job on that! Good luck!