I specifically forbade her from exposing herself in public above the knee, above her elbow, or below her neck yet she continues to wear revealing clothing. I burned a whole drawer of tank tops, yet she keeps buying more? I've already cut her allowance and am not letting her see her friends, but it's not working. If not a harsher punishment, how can I get her to listen?
God Bless.
2007-10-09 06:30:11 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like she's indwelled with the spirit of Jezebel. You should call your pastor, deacon, or priest right away to arrange an exorcism.
2007-10-09 06:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 4⤋
It sounds like to me, that she is doing this, in rebellion to your forbidding.
Please keep in mind that you are her husband and not her father. Keeping her from seeing her friends, sounds like a punishment for a teenager, not a wife. Also, isn't a husband and wife supposed to be equal partners in all aspects of a marriage, including money? That is the way it is for my husband and I, the money is both of ours, we don't give each other "allowances" And I am a stay at home wife/mom, I do not have my own income.
We are all individuals, we have our own personalities and our own minds. You are her husband, yes, but that doesn't mean that you have all say in what she does or wears.
It might help you both, to sit down, and calmly and lovingly, talk about why this is important to you, and express to her, why you would rather her wear more modest clothing. But, ultimately, the choice should be hers. Forbidding her to not wear certain clothing, is only going to cause friction and problems greater than this issue.
Sometimes there has to be some compromising in a marriage, when you sit down and talk, talk about what compromises you both could make, that you both are happy with, in order to solve this problem.
I truly hope that you both can work this out, to a happy and comfortable decision.
May God bless you also
2007-10-09 07:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well if she won't learn then you need to buy her the appropriate attire lock her in the house and never let her go anywhere. Make sure that she does not have TV, so she does not have any of those trashy influences creeping in. Oh and take away her internet so that she buy her own clothes.
2007-10-09 10:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming this is a cultural/religious thing. Nothing you've said seems revealing in the American or western culture. If you live in a western country, you're swimming upstream. Showing ones arms is not being immodest in this culture. And "punishing" your spouse in this culture is completely not cool! So, unless you're planning on moving, I'd recommend you try to help her understand why this upsets you and see if you can understand why she's doing it. From there you should be able to get to some common ground.
2007-10-09 06:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by antiberocked 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My husband made me burn my own spagetti strap tops and apparrel that he deemed to risque. He doesn't let me go out of the house unless I am with him. He put dead bolts on the doors so that I can't get out of the house and I don't have a key. The windows have security bars on them so I can't get out of there.
He says that when he can trust me, he will let me have a key to the house. It's only been 3 months, but I am beginning to see that it is much better to dress in a manner that he sees fit.
2007-10-09 07:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by Cinthia Round house kicking VT 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i was raised in a home that had the same rules for religious reasons. im going to assume that she has not changed the way she dressed since before you were married. you should have taken that in consideration. however, you are now in a position where you cannot leave, again, im assuming religious reasons. try giving an explanation for your actions. maybe offer an extra allowance when she dresses modestly. her friends are not the problem either. i had many friends who did not share the same view and accepted my beliefs. hers should be able to do the same. it also sounds like she is doing it to make you angry. perhaps there is a deeper problem? she may not be happy in marriage anymore. try connecting with her, and deepen your love.
2007-10-09 06:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, while we as a couple agree that modesty is essential to keeping trust in a relationship, you are going about this in a very belittling way.
If this was not in the marriage section, it would appear you are speaking of your teenage daughter, not your wife.
You really need to understand, that dominating and controling her like a little girl, will only bring negative results to you and your marriage.
Words like "punishment" in your marriage is a destroyer of your relationship. How could you think of "punishing" the one you love.
If you truly love her, than use "love" as your tool. It seems apparent that your relationship is not based on trust, love or mutual agreement, but on your hard hand of controling and dominating.
If you keep this up, you will only push her into a complete separation. You really need to repent and ask forgiveness for treating her in the way you have.
You need to begin a real relationship before you lose the most important person in your life.
2007-10-09 06:39:34 · answer #7 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Are you serious???
Have you spanked her yet? Grounding her and docking her allowance may not be harsh enough. I'd whip out the ole belt and let her have it (3-5 licks on the backside only; no head shots allowed)
2007-10-09 06:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Confused 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Did you guys talk about this before you got married? No offense, but it sounds like you are trying to be her father and not her husband. A woman doesn't want to be in the bedroom with someone who is acting like her father. Maybe you guys could go shopping together and if she shows you something she likes that you find inappropriate you could lovingly explain how you feel. (Everyone is entitled to their opinion but you sound extreme. I understand you do not want your wife to look like she is selling herself, but above the elbow? Do men find arms seductive?)
2007-10-09 06:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie W 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like your treating her like your daughter instead of your wife. If you "forbade" someone to do anything it is going to cause them to rebel. I would eb mad as hell if
#1 my husband told me not to wear what I wanted to
and #2 if he burned my clothes.
I mean come on. Shes your wife and you are giving her an allowance. If she is using your money to buy clothes that you think are inappropriate then she shouldnt be doing that. But it sounds to me like you have already grounded her. What more can you do? Spank her....
2007-10-09 07:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Next time do not burn them Send them to my Ex! He was always the other way around I was not dressing s*xy enough. So it would be good clothes for his new plaything. He could then arrange for her good clothes to be sent over to your wife.
2007-10-09 08:20:11 · answer #11 · answered by MissE 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋