I just found that my husband has been on some pretty nasty websites in the last few weeks since I've started showing. One of the sites was AdultFriendFinder.com which is basically a site that people link up only for sex. He said that he didnt talk to anyone on there since he didnt pay. He doesn't get that its the point that he was on the site. He claimed he wanted to talk to other women and ask them questions about how to be a better lover. I feel really insulted that he wouldcome up with sith such a dumbass answer.
I feel like our sex life is good. He never complains. We're spontaneous and energetic. Has anyone else cuaght their husband? I am not prude by any means ....we could have looked at the sites together to add spice. I feel betrayed that he was so secretive and feel like I can't really trust him 100%. I know its only online but to register to find someone in our area?
Has anyone else had this happen and what did you do?
2007-10-09 06:14:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This is our first "situation" in 2 years. He is a great husband, sensitive, affectionate and that hasnt changed. I am scared he isnt as attracted to me since I am pregnant.
2007-10-09 06:15:09 · update #1
I am not freaking out on him -- but do want some answers. I just dont want to be blind and naive.
2007-10-09 06:17:46 · update #2
I dont mind looking at Porn but when you start registering to meet someone that crosses the line!
2007-10-09 06:35:15 · update #3
Not really... but I had a miscarriage in April and I was pretty far along.... not even a week later I found my boyfriend looking at porn. Porn has been our biggest downfall because I just don't agree with it... I don't care if people look at it, that isn't what I'm saying but I hate it personally myself and I have reasons for this that I'm not going into... Anyway it made me feel aweful. He also looked at adultfriendfinder.com... Tell him straight out to stop the ****! Thats what I had to do. It is really disrespectful in my opinion unless it is mutual and you are both looking at it or if the other person doesn't have a problem with you looking at it... but if it bothers the other person then you should really consider their feelings... That is what your hubby should do. Explain to him how it makes you feel. My boyfriend hasn't looked at it in a while and I make sure he doesn't. I'm not controlling but I keep him in check that he has to consider my feelings like I consider his and if I was doing something like that and it hurt him I would stop.
2007-10-09 06:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by ϑennaß 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-19 02:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I had something similar happen to me back in August, but it was a little different. We found out I was pregnant, but I began bleeding, so I spent hour upon hour in the ER with a good friend of mine, she took me so he could stay home with our other 3 children. Well, EVERY day I was in the hospital (3 days within a week) - he was looking up porn online and some website trying to meet singles as well - worse thing is, he lied about it all - but im not stupid, I know how to use the "History" button on the computer, which shows EVERYwhere someone has been in the past week, if its not emptied. So while I was miscarrying/trying to make sure everything was okay with our unborn child, he was home watching porn talking to other women. So, I know where you are comming from. We promised we would only watch that stuff together, promised 3 years ago, my main issue is that it was done while I was stressing over the miscarriage and trying to see if things were okay....and that he broke a promise....
How did I cope??
Well, easily, I told myself he's a man, and if all this he does leads to him cheating on me, I will then know I have wasted 5 years of my life on him, but not willing to waste anymore, and just knowing the best thing I got out of it all was my children, so be it - family is all you need these days girl!
Good Luck...hope things get better *hugsssssssss*
2007-10-09 06:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by singing_angel_of_the_night 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. My husband has a problem with internet porn too, though it wasn't just while I was pregnant, he's says he's had a problem since long before he & I even met.
I feel like such a snoop, because I'm constantly checking the computer (the cookies & history) to check to see what websites he's looked at. He always waits until I'm not home to do it. He's checked out the adult friend finder too! What drives me crazy is when he looks at naked asian girls & asian sex....I'm not asian...I feel like saying what the hell? If you are so turned on by asian women why didn't you marry one!!
I've confronted him about it, and he is very ashamed. He admits he has a problem and always says he's going to stop but he has never been able to. He'll go for months without doing it and then all of the sudden he'll get the urge and it starts up all over again
I still don't know what to do. Maybe we need to spice up the sex life a little, maybe see a sex therapist I don't know. I'm interested to see the other answers to your question!!
2007-10-09 06:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by Momof2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I caught my hubby plenty..lol...I think It's just a guy thing. Most guys are actually MORE attracted to their spouse when they are pregnant.
I too have trust issues from past relationships and I know how scary it can be once a "situation" like this does happen..it can almost question your whole relationship.
After the incident with my hubby and I we had a LONG, serious talk about how I felt it was inappropriate and how it made me feel...after that he swore it wouldn't happen again, and since I now check the website history everyday (he doesn't know how to delete it LOL) I can assure myslef he hasn't done anything.
I'm sure he is very much attracted to you..don't stress yourself out too much!
2007-10-09 06:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by CJ&Drewsmomma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate porn. However, I do know that during pregnancy it is very easy to feel like your heart is breaking and that it is hard to cope with various situations. Pregnancy will effect how you feel about everything. So try not to get too upset even though it sucks remember it always seems worse than it really is. It can always be worse so try look at the good things about him and try to stayed focused on the positive things.
2007-10-09 08:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by peaches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not pregnant, and my husband has recently became addicted to porn. You just need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. If the problem continues, you guys should see a counselor. Even if he has become less attracted to you since becoming pregnant, that won't last forever. You should feel lucky that he's attracted to you at all...my husband isn't attracted to me anymore, and our marriage is going to fall apart if things keep progressing like they are. After the baby comes, things should get better. Heck...you may just be paranoid. Who knows...go to a counselor and that should help.
2007-10-09 06:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by Tisha 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know my man looks at porn on the computer, he has since before I was pregnant. Its no big deal to me that he is watching videos and looking at the pictures. But to go on the date finder site. I would draw the limits. I don't care if my man looks, but now talking or touching. To me that is just like finding someone so they can cheat. I would have flipped out! I don't know if I would still be with him if he was to do something like that!
2007-10-09 06:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by blebert2002 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me ... it's not just since you've been pregnant. Porn is so readily available. Men AND WOMEN are looking at it. 100% faithful even. I wouldn't worry about it. As long as it is just LOOKING. And "nip it in the bud..." don't know if that's possible. Then it'll just be sneaking. I invited my husband to look at it with me. Made it something we can do together :) Work the system together or it will kill you. Good luck.
2007-10-09 06:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
During Pregnancy, a woman goes through a lot of changes both physically and mentally and might not be as appealing to the husband as earlier. This does not mean that he doesnt love you anymore , its just that he needs to let out the accumulated sexual energy
2007-10-09 06:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by Krazny Oktybr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋