What's the funniest thing your kid said?

Question

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the
dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (smart girl)

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Answer 1

sarah was 3 or 4, walked around the sitting room very serious, asking where the ront krertom was :) (remote control)

salah at same age, the maid came running to me saying that salah was throwing clothes out from the balcony (we are on the 3rd floor), when I told him it was wrong, he said: why should you be upset !?? i'm throwing sarah's clothes, not yours !! :)

another time when i started being brave enough as to leave them alone at home, i always used to give them the 10 commandments before leaving, don't answer the door, don't tell anyone thru the phone that you are alone, don't look from windows or balconies, don't use the oven, one day as soon as i come home salah greets me with a huge smile and says "i've made you a surprise!", me: "how nice, what is it?", saloo7a: "i've baked you a cake!!!" me: "WHAT? meen wala3 el forn ?????????????"
anyway, not to break the commandment they cooked little cakes on the cooker men fo2, they tasted awful, but who would tell them that ? :))

then there was this other time when the neighbors across fel 3omara eli osadna fel share3 eli wara, complained that salah was throwing raw eggs at them, when i punished him he said "are you punishing me for the eggs or the spoons ?" turns out he was also bombarding them with our spoons and no one said anything about those ! :)

sarah wrote me and her dad a note once, which i still have, saying that she is leaving because we shout at her, and she is going to stay with her aunt, and if we want to talk to her we have to write her letters and leave them, khalo balko men leave them, (she doesn't want to see us at all) with the security guard of the building that is next to her aunt's building

when they used to get bored i used to when i ran out of ideas, tell them to write a letter to hosni mubarak, one of them reads, "please catch the terrorists and i want coochie shoes" :)

i have a big drawer full of stuff like that, i found this, salah writes a letter to

"to mr george bush
stop attacking on iraq they are innocent people and you have nice missles we know you losed in vietnam and god bless iraqis people and you said you will fight with nuclear missles and weapons and you didn't
please stop that you are changing the world the whole world you took palestine what do you want else iraq impossible you can't but i brag you stop the war please, you lied on the arab world the whole why are you getting much weapons and missles they are not for iraq is it ? so please stop the war and live in peace stop the war god bless iraq"

i found the follwing in my sent emails, salah likes playing a game online called habo hotel, you need to pay to buy stuff for your room etc,:

"guest room name : s.e.s
room owners name: salah
your habbo name : salou7
country the room represents : egypt
but please accept me but i dont have habbo credits to buy furni for the room and i can change its name or u change it and please if u gave me credits i will do it i sware i will and if i failed or didnt.. fire me or do anything but please i would really like to represent my country i wont like another person from out egypt would do it please please i am sure i can do it please even reply !"

i was deeply concerned and touched (2olt heya 7assaleit ? el wad beyesh7at!!!) and decided he should get one of those credit cards for the net

then this what happens later, found this a few months ago on his father's laptop, salah is 14 years old by the way:

"dear you,

my name is salah seoudy ,i live in alexandria,egypt and my phone number is [phone],
and i was in american university of cairo and got graduated from it in 2002 and have experianced many
jobs and working for many companys and now working in computer company (microsoft) and i have received many
rewards for my achievements in english ,maths and biology and computer science and have made many useful aims for
my community to avoid many problems which strikes or face every community in the world and i would like to be a
part of sulake (sue-lak-key) finnish word for fuse as i know the company and its achievements on the internet.
i would like to be habbo hotel manager and manage the hotel's habbo's with their requirements and their needs and also
satisfy all habbos with great new plans and games and more fun rooms and thank u.

urs sincerely,
S.S"

i laughed my head off (he didn't see that) then we had a very serious talk

Answer 2

YOU ARE A CUTE LITTLE PEANUT!
I don't have a penis
---Val age 3

MOM WILL BE IN THE BATHROOM DYING HER HAIR
Oh, you want your roots to emulate the rest of your hair
---Val age 4

Mom, I want break-sh*t
--Rae age 4

Mommy is stealing my barbie clothes! Haha Just kidding
--Rae age 3 (in a Demi More Voice- very raspy)

Answer 3

After he got a toy "Woody" (from Toy Story) for Christmas, he ran around the house screaming, "I'VE GOT A WOODY! I'VE GOT A WOODY! I'VE GOT A WOODY!!!"
-Marcus age 5

Answer 4

hehe, very funny! my kid didn't ask anything yet, he just kicks, ma3andoosh tafahom!