She doesn't go out with guys. She is very butch in her way of dress. She only has girlfriends and roommates. She only has 3 male friends including myself the other 2 she works and goes to school with. I think she thinks I'll treat her differently if she opens up. I don't know what to do about it. She would still be my friend no matter what but I feel like her not telling me means she doesn't trust me as much as I trust her.
2007-10-09 05:23:02 · 10 answers · asked by John S 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Maybe you could watch a lesbian themed DVD together. Just keep making comments about how you don't judge people, are supportive, gay friendly, etc. Maybe she will open up to you. Or, if you really care about her, ask her if she would share the information with you. Tell her what you told us - your feel her not telling you means she doesn't trust you, etc.
2007-10-09 06:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by Auntie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her sexual preference is her own business. If she doesn't want to tell you doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't trust you, but some things are just private. When she is ready she'll come out if she is gay. To ask her I would believe would be an insult and could destroy her relationship. Coming out isn't an easy thing to do for some people. Just continue being her friend and she will know your true feelings.
2007-10-09 12:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by SgtMoto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might not care enough to tell you. It might be a non issue as far as she is concerned. Besides, if you know...why does it really matter if she says it?
Some of us while being out and proud, also feel like at some point "coming out" to every single person we meet gets real old real fast.
Let's face it, you look at me and you can tell. Why say it? If you see me mounting some woman when you walk in my house, or kissing her tenderly in public....you can tell right? do you still need me to say it?
It is also possible, that she isn't sure that she is a lesbian. Or not comfortable enough with saying it to you or others.
When and if she wants you to know, she will tell you. If you REALLY can't wait....
Tell her that's what you want for your birthday or are asking Santa for when you sit on his lap this year.
2007-10-09 12:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by Just saying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hasn't told you she is a lesbian, then either she isn't one or she isn't ready for you to know about it. Let her tell you when the time is right. For now, she is playing it straight. Therefore, you should respect that and treat her as such. However, make sure that she knows your feelings towards gay/lesbian relationships so that if she is, she will feel more comfortable telling you.
2007-10-09 12:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by M2S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you're making this into an issue that isn't there. Maybe she's not gay. I know that many homosexuals would never believe that. Perhaps neither men (nor women) and sex just aren't as important to her and a center piece of her life as many people make it out to be in theirs.
2007-10-09 12:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by beingbad67 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's not comfortable telling anyone. my guess is that "coming out", even if only to one person, can be a major thing. she'll probably tell you when she's ready. otherwise, feel free to drop very subtle hints about how sexual orientation of a friend doesn't matter to you in the least.
2007-10-09 12:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Honey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She does not have to tell you anything at all. If you are really her friend, you'll respect her decisions regarding to who or when or if she talks about her sexuality.
Just leave things be. Enjoy her friendship. You've said her sexual preference doesn't matter. So.........it doesn't matter.
2007-10-09 12:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why make it an issue? I'm sure when she's ready, she'll tell you. Just don't take her current silence as a personal attack on yourself.
Have you ever considered that she may just assume you know??
Either way, let it go and just enjoy her company. xo
2007-10-09 12:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol, how bout' you kiss her? I bet she'll tell you then.. lmao
2007-10-09 13:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried torture?
2007-10-09 12:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Cymalon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋