A friend of mine is going through a NASTY divorce, his soon to be ex wife a mean, cheating, crazy woman, and she's admitted it. She uses the kids against him, threatens them that if they tell dad shes got another bf, shes lied about things the kids have said about his gf, claims that everything is hers and she pays all the bills and he gets nothing. She only "lives" in the house on the weekends, they both have great income, and when she does come home, she upsets the balance ofpeace in the home, leaves for the week, he takes care of the kids.
His gf has made him a new man, he truely sees what love really is now, shes a great friend of mine and she's a strong person. His kids love her and she loves them. How can she be there for him and the kids during this hard time, without getting to involved in the divorce, without looking like she's trying to buy the kids or butter them up?????????????????? They've even said they don't want mommy to come home, or the don't want the gf to leave,
2007-10-09 05:11:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but then the mom says that the kids have said these horrible things about the gf, tha are not true, even the kids have said it's not true.
The gf has no idea how to handle this delicate situation, she's worried that the kids will end up disliking her, she is also worried about losing the love of her life. She's been through a divorce, she now knows what love really is.
2007-10-09 05:11:55 · update #1
There's some question marks for people who can't read a typo
2007-10-09 05:12:18 · update #2
He needs a good lawyer. He also needs to get her out of the house full time; she should not be allowed to disrupt the household every weekend. He should have no problem getting custody and a good settlement, as she cheated, and he's providing a stable environment for them. He also should probably be getting both child support and the house, since he's raising the children. The girlfriend should just be loving and supportive and provide stability for the bf and children. The ex-wife has already proven that she makes lying accusations that aren't believable.
2007-10-09 05:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nadia this woman sounds like a good catch for this fella at this time in his life. Hopefully she will continue to love and support him through his difficult time and then they can get on with their own lives and be happy together. As far as the birth mother goes, she'd be better off trying to keep an arms length from this and allow her man to look after things in that department. Kids are a lot wiser then we give them credit for and they know if this woman is being real or just attempting to manipulate and/or buy their affection. Being there for the kids emotionally is probably her greatest asset at the present and eventually when the kids grow up they will be grateful to have had her there to help them also through this rough spot in their lives. Best of luck to all involved.
2007-10-09 12:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing I can say here is that there is no easy fix or resolve for this situation. Its tricky and there's just no easy detail of it.
The GF has to continue to do what it is she is doing and not lose focus on the true end result. She is there for the man and the kids, so she should just do that, continue to be there. Hold her head high in the fact that what she is doing has no hidden meaning, its done out of love. As long as she can truthfully tell that to herself, the man and the kids, everything should work out for the best.
2007-10-09 12:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father was only home on the weekends and when my parents got divorced I didn't think anything of it. I was used to only getting to see him a couple of times a month, so if this woman is really only home on the weekends I dont think it will effect the kids so much. They are already used to her not being around. Its also better if the girlfriend just tries to stick it out, kids might not always like someone right away but after time it gets better.
2007-10-09 12:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by ehrlich 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to "be there", she WILL in some capacity be involved with the mess, there's no way around it. If she's prepared for this kind of stuff to be a part of her life, then she has to bite the bullet and dive in. I don't think she can do it "without getting involved". If she becomes seriously involved with the man, by extension she becomes involved in his problems. The choice to make is whether to stick around, or to hit the ground running. If drama is not her thing, it might be worth to re-think the relationship; there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
2007-10-09 12:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend needs to be out of the whole thing. So does boyfriend.
The husband needs to call attorney to see about speeding up things or getting order for someone to move away. Maybe him?
Kids should visit with her at her other house. Kids should never be questioned about other parent.
Then again, some people love this kind of drama.
2007-10-09 12:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by tysdad62271 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the kids are over a certain age they can decide who they want to live with... If he can prove to be a better parent in court then he has a good chance of getting custody of the kids. That is a very hard situation to be in.
2007-10-09 12:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by cutie_smarty_pants 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This drama is not likely to end. If the gf chooses to stick around and keeps doing her part, that's about all that she can do although counseling could help all those involved.
2007-10-09 12:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋