Am I being Selfish?

Question

Ok so My Husband, Derrick & I are expecting a little girl soon. We have been having trouble agreeing on a name. He likes Kelsey Anne & I'm just not too fond of it.My mom HATES it. I like Hadleigh Elizabeth, Derrick is not fond of that. The only name that we can agree on is what we orginally were going to name our son, Nolan had he been a girl & that is Fallon. My mom is PO'd at me b/c she wants a Holland (her madien name) and while I like it to an extent, Derrick doens't. She keeps calling me her "last Hope" to have a Holland in the family is pressuring the HELL out of me to name her Holland. She says if I name it Fallon she will never be able to look @ her w/out thinkning cop killer b/c about 3 months after Nolan was born was when that girl Fallon talent ran over those two cops in Mt. Juliet TN. My dad was a police officer so she views this as a personal insult to him. Now I have liked this name since i was 16 and she wouldn't be named after the Fallon that killed the 2 officers

s(sorry this is long) so anyway she would be naed after MY favortite barrel racer Fallon Taylor, much like our son is named after Derrick's favorite baseball player. Soooooo Am I being the selfish one or is my mom? I'm tired of being pressured. she's so irritated at me she won't hardly talk to me at this moment atleast not about the baby. what is your opinion

Cornflake... love the idea of combining names but she can't be Fallon Anne... our last name is Gregory........ imagine the horros that child would get in school caus eof initals. lol I do agree with everyone and we are definately not going to bend to her whim I'm just tire dof hearing "Heather you'r emy last hope for a Holland" I guess my question should have been hwo do i make her stop????

ok a quick update I am LOVING ALL answers here. Charisma I didn't mean for the question to make anyone angry and I love the whole what if I name her Holland and a Holland becomes a cop killer angle i'll have to put that up to her.

Ok so here's the reason I don't like Kelsey..... everytime I hear it I start singing the cheers theme song... you know Kelsey Grammar played Dr. Fraiser Crane... silly I know but I just can't get that outta my head. Hadleigh Elizabeth I like b/c of the menaing of Hadleigh (filed of Heather heheheh) and Elizabeth is a family name so i kidn would be keeping a family name in there... sigh decisions decisions lol

TO KINGSTON: YOUR ANSWER WAS HIGHLY UNCALLED FOR. I FOUND IT RUDE, DEMEANING AND DEGRADING. I MYSELF WAS HIGHLY OFFENDED. I AM BY NO MEANS HARBORING HATE FOR MY PARENTS OR MY MOM, I'M JUST NOT REALLY HAPPY WITH THE IDEA OF NAMING MY CHILD HOLLAND. IT IS A FAMILY NAME AND BY MAKING THE COMMENT YOU DID ABOUT IT YOU HAVE INSULTED NOT ONLY ME, MY FAMILY BUT ALSO ANYONE ELSE WITH THE FAMILY NAME OF HOLLAND. MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK BEFOR EPOSTING ANSWERS LIKE THAT

Answer 1

You MUST name your child what YOU want. Your mum is being incredibley selfish, if she wanted a holland so much why didn't she call her kid that? It's ridiculous of her to put this much pressure on you, I am slightly disgusted she is spoiling the name choosing for you by behaving this way. As if anyone would think 'copkiller' when they look at their grand child. Sheer madness. And what if you call it Holland and then someone else commits the heinous crime of murdering a police officer and they are called Holland? you guna change their name? I am so angry at your mom for trying to make you do this, it's beyond belief. Unless you were callign yuor kid something ridiculous like 'sausage' or 'turnip' then she really can't offer any opinion except to say she likes it or she doesn't. It's you that gives birth, it's you that chooses the name, and Fallon is a really lovely name. Agrh, your question has made me so angry!

Answer 2

How do you feel about the name Kayleigh its a combination of Kelsey and Hadleigh. It could be Kayleigh Holland. I like the name Avery or Emery, you 2 seem to like "different" not to girly of names. Some other suggestions would be:
Delaney
Makenzie
Daphney
Natalie
Bailey!!!
Caitlyn
Madison
Shiloh
Stella

Definitely don't give in to your mother though, its not her child and its not your problem that she didn't use Holland as a name for one of her children. Only use that name if you want to. The thing that is most important is finding a name that both you and your husband both agree on, why don't you take time going through the girls section of a baby book, start with the A's, have him make a list of any names he like, and you, then compare, see if any are the same or something you each like, proceed through the alphabet, and hopefully you'll agree on something, try to make it fun though, not a chore. I'm not sure that fallon is the best idea, i think its slightly offensive to your loved ones and i'm sure you 2 can find more than one name that you agree on.

Answer 3

Honestly? You can't win this one.

Odds are that your mother would love her grandchild regardless, but do you really want to have this fight forever? Maybe you're not a grudge-holding family, but if I'd named my son something my MIL hated? I'd be hearing about it every day of my life and twice on Sundays.

It's not worth it.

Your two original names - Hadley & Kelsey - are pretty close. I popped those into the Nymbler baby namer, along with your son's name, and came up with:

Avery
Presley
Addison
Teagan
Morgan
Aubrey
Emerson
Ellery
Rowan
Larkin
Romy
Darby
Emlyn
Marley

I'd choose a name that you & your husband like, that has no obvious associations - though, as others have pointed out, there's no guarantee that the next pop star/serial killer won't have your daughter's name.

Then I'd a) keep it a secret from everyone until the blessed event and b) seriously consider using Holland as a middle name. Yes, your mother needs to cool it, but it *is* a great name with family significance, and far, far more interesting than Anne or Elizabeth.

The other thing you might do is use the middle name "Blue" as a means of honoring your father's profession. Either way, that ought to buy you peace and quiet.

Well, until your new little one wakes up at 3 a.m. ;)

Answer 4

Im sorry to hear this. You mom shouldnt be pressuring you. This is your baby! Tell her in a nice way that shes suffocating you. Tell her the only name you and your husband can agree on is Fallon and it has nothing to do with the cop killer girl. However, it sucks that she will always remember that. Holland i like too. How about Holly instead? So Holly Taylor is cute but i honestly think that you mom should learn to accept the fact that you are the mom and you choose a name that will make you happy.

Answer 5

If she is going to be named after Fallon Taylor... why not go with Taylor instead of Fallon. I personally don't think many people will remember one girl named Fallon that ran over 2 cops. I live in Houston and it's sad but cops are killed here in "traffic accidents" all the time.

If you love Fallon and think it's the best choice, then go with it. It's your child. If your mom, can't get over it, then she won't get to see her grandkids!

I think your mom will mellow out. Tell her to back off about naming her Holland and that it is stressing you out and hurting your baby because of the stress. If she can't respect your wishes, then you will have to distance yourself from her so you can have some peace.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Ok, well, this is your baby & your mom should absolutely not be making you feel guilty about the name. So, no, you are by no means being selfish!This is supposed to be a happy time for you, not stressful, tell her to kindly butt out & get over it. I would be furious if my mom acted this way, but that's beside the point here. I love Fallon & you need to name your daughter what YOU want, she'll get used to it, she has too. I also really like Hadleigh, prefer Hadley, can't you talk hubby into that one? It's so cute. Well, good luck to you.

Answer 7

If she liked Holland so much, why isn't that your name?

This is YOUR baby. Find a name you and your husband like and remember it is a name your CHILD has to live with. Think about possible rhymes or taunts that could go with what you name her before you make a final decision and do the same with the baby's initials.

If you give way to your mother on this, you are only opening the door to a life of being told what to do in every other situation with your daughter.

Congratulations with your baby and good luck with your mom.

Answer 8

I personally do not care for the name Fallon but this is yours and your husbands baby not your Moms. You need to talk things over and come to some kind of agreement. What a terrible burden you put on this child to start life with a rift in the family over her name. And, by the way, just me but when I chose names for my children, 1 girl and 1 boy, the names I had picked for them was for them so for instance daughter Crystal was born and the name David was for a boy was never a reality . Therefore when my son was born we chose a name for this baby not the name we had for the other baby had she been a boy. Each child is their own, name them that way. But you all need to reach an agreement arguing over a name is sad.

Answer 9

Go with Fallon because you and your husband agree on it. Perhaps Holland as a middle name or hypenated middle name like..... Fallon Mia-Holland (last name). Your mother could have used her maiden name as your middle name... don't give in to her guilt trip, the first name is what is used everyday so it should be something you love. I think this is an appropriate situation for a middle name.

Answer 10

Some friends of mine came up with this solution, and I think it is an excellent idea. Keep the discussion between you and your husband, and don't even share the potential names with anyone else- friends, family, coworkers- because everyone has an opinion, and you will not find a name that everyone just loves. When people ask, tell them that you are thinking of names and you will reveal your choice when you introduce your child to the world.
I agree with a previous poster- your mom will fall in love with your child no matter what.