I really felt that the friendship had many negative qualities to it since we were always talking abt her "problems". She had so many issues with men, aging, other friendships.
I found her to be very selfish and caught her lying to me several times.
I broke off this friendship by just stopping all contact with her. Now, I wish I had said something. At the time, I didn't think I could say anything in a nice, mature, respectful way so I just said nothing.
I really don't want that friendship back so I am not going to contact her.
It's just why do I feel so bad about this? I've actually started dreaming her??????
2007-10-09 01:54:45 · 4 answers · asked by asldfkjdfj 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Because in your eyes it is not resolved. If she contacts you again or you happen to see her somewhere, tell her then why you did what you did. She will likely ask you about it if it bothers her. If it doesn't, then she will not worry about it enough to ask. You did the right thing. With you not saying anything, it caused less problems than it would have if you would have been open about it and told her flat out what the problem was. She likely knows already anyway. With her age, she probably has had many friends who have ended the friendship bc of this, and she has bound to have been told at least once. Try not to worry about it, because she probably isn't worried about it in the least. It is bothering you much more than it is her, I can about guarantee you of that. She is too self absorbed to be very worried about it. Just try to let it go or tell her the next time you see or hear from her so that it will put your mind at ease.
2007-10-09 02:02:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is it that you are not going to contact her? Because you 'don't want that friendship back'?
You know yourself how very painful it is if someone completely drops you with a thud - cutting off the friendship without explanation. It is, unfortunately, and I hate to say this, a very feminine tactic for ending a friendship. Shameful but true. Women don't even end relationships with men that way but they do that to other women. So cruel - go figure.
Why not drop her a note and, in a kind way, say that your lives had just turned out to be much different than when your friendship started. For that reason, you had ended the friendship which is the right decision for you.
It will help her to understand at least a little bit of what was going on. If she tries to contact you, you can just repeat that. But I doubt that she would try to contact you. Why would she want a friendship back after that wound was inflicted?
2007-10-09 09:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably feel bad because you stopped the friendship so quickly. If you wish you had said something, it is not too late but this time establish the degree of friendship by your standards. if you feel her to be selfish, tell her it is selfish and tell her not to lie to you. A close friend is someone you do things with but she can be a friend that you talk to or see at your convenience or simply someone you know who has problems so that you can contact her so that you don't feel bad about that but when she gets into the negativity simply tell her that you can not deal with that and that she should see a counselor for those problems. If she learns to deal with her problems she may turn out to be a good friend who needed counseling in her life.
2007-10-09 09:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's done is done...don't feel bad. Just move on. I don't think you owe her anything. But, if you feel that guilty over it, call her or send an e-mail explaining.
2007-10-09 08:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋