I just started going back to church and taking my 3 kids also. When we got back home, the minute we walked in the door, my husband would complain about whatever came to mind. After only 10 minutes of being home I told him that he hadn't said one nice thing since we had been home and I asked him if he had anything good to say. He said he had nothing at all good to say. So, I asked him if we needed to leave and come back when he DID have something good to say. It just upset me because after having a peaceful morning at church, I had to come home to that. I felt as he was offended in some way and if that's what I have to come home to every time after church, should I even attempt to go anymore?
2007-10-09 01:45:33 · 20 answers · asked by Jennifer S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I started going back because I missed going and I felt that I shouldn't wait any longer. My husband isn't at all religious. I did ask him if he wanted to go even though I knew he would say no and I did respect that.
2007-10-09 01:59:23 · update #1
if church makes you feel better , you should go - it gives you peace and some peaceful time. Your kids too.
Your husband has a problem - i don't know what it is, but you giving up something that helps you won't fix his problem.
2007-10-09 01:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The devil will do anything he can to keep you from getting anything out of church. He is working through your husband whether your husband realizes it or not. Did your husband ever go with you, or is church something totally foreign & negative to him? It is God's ideal for the man to be the spiritual leader in the home, so it is a real challenge when they can't/won't take that responsibility. Is it that he believes differently and would go to another church--maybe you can find one that he would attend? There is a very thought-provoking book out about why men don't like church. It probably won't change anything, but reading it might help you understand, and if you shared it with your pastor, who knows, the church might find ways to reach out to not only your husband but other men in the community and make their services more relevant to them.
He may be trying to bait you and make you do or say things that seem "un-Christian" to him, so he can throw it up and use it as an excuse that going to church isn't worth anything.
I am so sorry you are going through this; I've been there and for me, it was part of the beginning of the end of our marriage--the closer I got to the Lord, the further apart my husband and I grew because he wasn't walking with the Lord and had no desire to. (He was raised in the same denomination as me and I thought he was a Christian, but now I don't know if he is or not?)
All the way home from church, pray really hard for the Lord to give you the strength and the right spirit to deal with your husband so he can see the Lord working in your life. There is a Scripture passage about believing wives quietly leading their unbelieving husbands to the Lord, if I can find it I'll paste the link below. Make an extra effort to have things arranged beforehand (night before or first thing that morning before you leave) so that when you get home from church, you will have plenty of time and attention for him (meal ready, etc). Some men actually feel jealous of their wives spending time at church.
The Lord knows what you are going through, and He can/will work it out for His honor and glory if you will wait on Him and be patient. It's very hard not to jump in and try to push & pull & make things happen on our timetable, or just give up.
Be ready to accept that he may never change, but your relationship with the Lord, (and your children's while they are young) is up to you, and matters for all eternity. Even if you can't change him, the Lord will change you and help you be more able to deal with it, and He will bless you for being faithful.
I know it's tough, but hang in there. It IS worth it.
2007-10-09 02:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely continue to go. Going to church can provide you with a "boost" for the upcoming week...it can be spirit filled, enjoyable...a nice time to have fellowship with others in your community and of course, worship and praise. Your children will only benefit from growing up going to church...it will give them such a good foundation and also teach them basic morals and principles.
Maybe your husband will learn from your example if you stay dedicated to going every week. He will see that no matter how he tries to bring you down, or even if he's just having a bad day, that it won't sway your joy you bring home after church.
Stay strong...your faith and/or dedication just might rub off on him!
2007-10-09 02:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do what is right for you and your children, whether its going to church or whatever. If people in your life do not support you doing something positive, then maybe you should think about not having them in your life anymore. We all have the right to live a happy and peaceful life.
Invite him to go, and if he doesn't you just tell him you don't want to hear a damn word from him because he's feeling left out.
2007-10-09 01:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely go. That is the way the devil has figured out to keep you from going to church, through your husband. Pray, pray and remind God, the Bible says the husband is sanctified by the wife. Tell God you need help with the devil and your husband. God will help you. Have your children pray a prayer to God for God to help their dad. You'll see a change in your husband. Don't say anything to your husband, and pray for him. Keep going to church, or the devil will win. I give you a big S A L U T E .
2007-10-09 02:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You claim to have had a peaceful morning at church, yet the minute things weren't going your way at home, you became upset. Instead of understanding that your husband's complaint was only a coverup, you fell into his trap again. Now, you don't think you should go to church anymore, although you found peace there. Makes no sense.
2007-10-09 02:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like hes trying to control you, I would go to church and then take the kids out for the day if he wants to be crabby let him do it alone don't stop going to church just don't come home you should not have to listen to that
2007-10-09 01:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by firebird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, something is bothering him. Is it you going to church? Who knows. Is he not religious? You weren't clear. But, if that's the only time he gets like this, then you need to sit down and talk to him about what's really bothering him and why he only does it when you come home from church. It's time for him to come clean with what's really bothering him. Instead of walking in the door and responding to his negativity in a negative way, sit him down and talk calmly about it. If you two can't talk like adults and communicate, what's the point?
2007-10-09 01:50:09 · answer #8 · answered by CC 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
good for you , you will find that your faith ( what ever that may be ) will make you stronger ...... pray for your husband . as for him being negative all the time , he may be experiencing some sort of resentment and for what ever reason that may be . You might want to talk with him , I know it's no fun walking into a house that is negative all the time( trust me ) , but continue doing what you are doing .The problem doesn't lie with you it's with your husband and he should be happy that you are doing right by yourself and kids .
2007-10-09 02:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by maryl_a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk to him when you get home. If he starts complaining walk off.Trieing to talk to him when he's mad won't work.You will end up fighting of course.Snyde remarks won't help either.When you come home from church don't talk give him a hug or quick kiss and go find something to do in the house.
2007-10-09 02:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by lollypop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋