I know girl from school. We used to hang out a lot but i only used to see her as a friend. Time passed by and we continued to be good friends (there were moments that i felt that i was much more for her but acted like nothing was happening). We know each other very well (i don't think there is something about her that i don't know) like bfs and stuff. Lately we hanged around a lot and we had a lot of fun. One night we kissed pationately (that was i kiss...). The other day was very awkward and we agreed that we should stop it. One week after we repeated the kiss. But the other day she told me that she thinks of me more as a friend than a lover. That hurt me a lot so i asked her out and told her that i like her a lot. That i don't want the role of a friend anymore because i don't think that suits me (it's very difficult to see her friendly). I told her that our relationship is an "all or nothing situation". She started crying and told that it was my fault. Never talked again! Thoughts?
2007-10-09 01:33:32 · 11 answers · asked by ponemenos 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wait. If things dont simmer... sooner or later something will happen. Good/Bad. If she really doesnt want you. Move on. Love conquests are never meant for somebody to look back on. lol.
2007-10-09 01:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by pitch black 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cant help that she dosent have romantic feelings for you. Some friendships have a bond to wear you feel so comfortable with the person that when a kiss like that happens it happens because the person does "love" you they are just not "in love" with you. you shouldnt have siad that the friendship was an all or nothing deal. That probably scared her and hurt her all at the same time. Now she has lost a friend and she probably feels that she cant talk to you because the only thing you will want to talk about is being together as a couple and not just as friends. Good luck.. I hope you can work this out
2007-10-09 08:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go... Just because you have feelings for a friend doesn't mean you two should cross the line... Because of your impluses, you may have lost a good friend. NEXT time, if someone say we should be just friends, respect their decision.
I have been in your shoes before, I was best friends with someone for 3 years, we got married and the marriage failed. Now we talk as friends and the strain is gone and we can be our selves and things are some much better. Sometimes people are better at being friends than being lovers.
2007-10-09 08:42:49 · answer #3 · answered by beau0021 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not possible to serenade someone into a relationship with an ultimatum at hand. It's not your fault that you have feelings for her, but it is your fault that you are choosing to not be friends. Your trying to tell her I want you as my girlfriend and if I can't have you the way I want then I don't want to have anything to do with you. Which two things one is selfish and two is not love. By the way being lovers is different than dating and having a relationship. Usually being lovers means just that your friends with benefits, it just sounds nicer. Consider what you want from this person and what they are able to give, if this person is unable to give what you want are you able to accept that or are you too selfish to even accept her friendship. Apologize to your friend and tell her you have strong feelings for her, then tell her that you want to be friends with her but you still have deeper feelings for her. Maybe just by being friends (which seems to be what brought up your feelings) she'll fall for you.
2007-10-09 08:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also experienced the same before.
She has already told you clearly what she thought about you.
In my opinion there are 2 choices for you:
1) keep the relationship as a friend, this would allow her to take times to re-think about you. you "will" be 'very?' vulnerable and you need to be very patient to wait for her. The result? No one knows, she might say yes or no to you.
2) completely walk away. yes, you'll get hurts. you'll need times to get better.
try not to force her, this is very important. be gentle and put your emotions in control. the more you (intentionally or unintentionally) push her, the little possibility she would accept you.
Good luck.
2007-10-09 08:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All or nothing...? Why..?
If you really like her, and worst comes to worst you should still be her friend..? That was a silly move -
Tell her that you will always be her friend, but you like her more then a friend, and ask if she does too
I think continue being friends unless something sparks again =]
Good luck
2007-10-09 08:38:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to say that you did the worst thing in this wonderful friendship and its not in kissing her or asking her to be of more than friends but in giving her an "ultimatum" and i am sorry to say that i think you will lose her completely, i hope not but still try to reverse yourself and apologize and try to be friends again maybe in the long run she will change her mind and the 2 of you will end up together. good luck!
2007-10-09 08:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you tried to move it to a higher level but she was not interested. You could apologize and say you will not do it again if she would just be your friend. Or you could just break it off all together since your goals and hers are different.
2007-10-09 08:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Keep on trying to change her mind if that does not help then trust your instincts.
2007-10-09 08:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gave her the all or nothing and she choose nothing.........you only hurt yourself when you do that ...who knows in time she may of had feelings after being BF.......
2007-10-09 09:13:48 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋