Should there be name changes or should we demand dog, ham and sauce?
2007-10-09 00:51:07 · 10 answers · asked by zingis 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
**I found this really funny poem/essay in my 9th Grade Fall Curriculum Student Reading packet :) I hope you enjoy it!**
English is a Crazy Language
By: Richard Lederer
Let's face it: English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
And while no one knows what is in a hotdog,
you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. China wares don’t come from China and Manila hemp is not from Manila. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out
and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
You get in and out of a car,
yet you get on and off a bus.
When the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it,
but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
English is a silly language...
it doesn't know if it is coming or going!
2007-10-09 01:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by ☮ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hot Dogs
2016-04-07 23:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr - Leave the DOG out of Hot dogs - Put the Cat in Katchup
2007-10-09 00:57:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rarebit is not Welsh, pigs don't lie in a blanket, no one really eats "sh*t on a shingle", and there is no mystery about meat in the school cafeteria. Instead of demanding the products as advertised, it might be safer to avoid them altogether.
2007-10-09 02:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't the English language crazy.
Wax beans have any wax either.
I think the names should be changed.
Beef burgers, weiners, & pork what?
2007-10-09 07:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Tigger 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL all were good except the sausage one, that one wasn't as naturally funny.
2007-10-09 00:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hot dogs don't have dog? Are you sure?
2007-10-09 00:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, actions don't have classes!
2007-10-09 01:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by Buddie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahah, i know... i feel that those names are weird :p
finally someone speak it out
2007-10-09 00:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by lucky_1179 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can put sauce on sagues but the rest... hamburgers .... idk LOL
2007-10-09 00:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by (NYG)NewYorkGiantsRule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋