why won't my dad spend any money?

Question

he is 66 years old, and has over £150.000 in the bank. his house is paid for, and he has a weekly pension. he has not decorated or brought new furniture for 30 years. why is he like this? he won't even buy a washing machine.

Answer 1

Maybe the things that are important to you arent important to him.Perhaps he likes the idea of being financially stable rather than having material things.
Dont be so hard on him. It's a different generation who had to struggle to get what they wanted. My mum is the same but to a lesser degree i think. She was very poor when she was young and finds it hard to splash out.

Answer 2

he is happy with what he has and does not want to be in an emergency situation without the cash. Financial security and peace of mind are worth a lot. Older people (he is not that old though) get attached to belongings they have had for a long time... he held you as a baby in that chair, watched you jump up and down on that couch...

he would likely ask about 20 and 30 year olds:

Why when they have so little money do they think they need to spend it all on things that won't give tham any lasting happiness.

( I would just buy him the washing machine as a present if your mom is stuck washing in a tub or going to the laundrymat, am guessing he doesn't do the laundry so considers it not his problem)

Answer 3

Short arms, deep pockets syndrome!. He might not be the sort of person who enjoys spending money and there could be various reasons for this.....he was a war baby, money was tight for everyone and some people of your dad's age group have never changed over the years where money's concerned. If he is happy this way then you should accept him and his ways.....which you probably already do. If, on the other hand, he is in need of electrical items to make life easier for himself eg a washing machine, maybe you could suggest you and he go on a shopping trip. The machines nowadays are very different to yesteryear and maybe they frighten him. You are the best person to judge whether he actually needs anything. If he is fit and active perhaps he plans to buy things when and if he needs them later. There is also the possibility that he intends to leave it to you and any other siblings you have but, again, if this is his wish you have to accept his decision. Lastly, if he needed to go into a Care Home when he is a lot older he might want to go into a Private home not a Council run one. Talk to him and let him know your concerns. xxx

Answer 4

He grew up a long time ago when a pound was a weeks wages and having a telephone was a luxury. He probably hasn't moved on much and remembers when times were much harder. Spending money doesn't come easy to him and a nest egg offers him some security.
66 isn't that old. He has got a lot of life ahead of him and financial prudence now, can give him security in the years ahead. Don't be too hard on him but do encourage him to live a little. Its responsible to live within your means but sometimes saving and going without becomes a habit and a way of life for people. Try to show him how much more enjoyable his life could be if he parted with some of his money. Sort out a budget based on his income and investments to show how much he could afford to spend each week without jeopardising his financial security.
Remember how lucky you are to have a solid responsible father and not one up to his eyes in debt to suit himself. You will be glad of it if you are ever in trouble and need his help.

Answer 5

I guess the fuzz would be too big to go buy something. He belongs to the older generation, and has got no more power to discover all the new sorts of things that were developped. It's the same with my grandma. She's avoiding to buy any kind of new stuff. She's turning 70, in the next few days.
He is probably used to his house, and doesn't want any changes. Even if he would wash his clothes by hand, which he probably does not, it would be nothing bothersome for him, cuz he is used to it.
What to do?? - Just convince him that he really needs that washing machine, because washing will get much much easier by that, and he will eventually buy it. Or go buy it together with him! :)

Answer 6

He is well aware that he could live another 30 years and its good to have something in the bank for emergencies?

Also, one gets into a mindset of not spending, just as one can get with overspending. Some people dont like change. New gadgets, takes them out of their comfort zone....especially if a wife? used to do it and he doesnt want to change the rules. For example, my Dad is 69 and mum passed aover a year ago. She used to vacuum, choose new furniture/his clothes etc....even if everything falls apart its doubtful he will do anything about it because he just CANT...its like a passive/aggressive reaction to a negative life situation.....eg whats the point of anything if there is nobody to show it off to?

The older you get, the more likely you cherish how things were, the memories held within that old furniture, the clothes you wear and on those walls is priceless.

Of course there is always the chance that he's lazy/depressed OR doesnt trust himself to make a good decision therefore chooses to nothing. And also women are more likely to be concerned about how things look...hetero-men are more utilitarian and dont give a hoot?

Take your pick out of any of the above....

Answer 7

He was concerned for expenses that could unexpectedly come up. Since he is on limited income, it would be hard for him to take care of any unforeseen expense without a savings on the side.

I live right outside of New Orleans, Louisiana in the US where Hurricane Katrina hit. Insurance did not come close to replacing what was lost for most people. Anyone one that had a saving was much better off than those that had saved nothing. You just never know what may happen. We certainly did not expect for anything this bad to happen. We usually had a little flooding, and that was it. Never did we imagine losing the entire home down to the concrete slab it was built on, plus every vehicle we did not take with us, due to the gas shortage!

Be glad that your father is prepared for any major problems that could occur. You will understand when you are much older. A limited income can be very scary without a savings to fall back on.

Answer 8

His pension is probably fixed for the rest of his life. Imagine that his cost of living goes up by just £500 every year - if he lives for another 20 years (and that's about the average he can expect), he will need to take more than £100,000 out of those savings just to maintain his current lifestyle.

Then he's probably saving some against a "rainy day" - maybe he's worried he'll need long-term care or an operation, and wouldn't want to have to sell his house to pay for it. Or maybe he wants to pay for your wedding, give you a deposit for a house, or contribute to an education for your children (or your nieces/nephews).

And finally, he's reached the age when he realises that having newer, "better" things doesn't necessarily improve your quality of life that much. Mind you, if he doesn't have a washing machine at all, maybe you could explain to him that it would be cheaper than sending his washing out or going to a launderette!

Answer 9

He is like my dad, never spent money he didn't need to but this is leading to a big problem for you both.
Your dad needs to realise that he is giving the money back to the government.
He has paid tax on it once and when he goes everything over £250000 gets taxed at 40% in inheritance tax so most of his savings will go straight back to the government especially as he owns a house, I bet that is worth a lot now too.
You need him to see a good finacial adviser to avoid paying tax on this money again. You need to get him to see that he is not helping you by leaving you with this money as you wont get it.
A good advisor will show him how to invest it to avoid this but you must do it soon as he needs to live for a few years after the investments or the tax man still gets it.
I leaned this the hard way as my dads estate paid more than 3 years of my wages to the tax man and we ended up with very little as it was shared between 5 of us

Answer 10

He was born during WW11 and therefore has been brought up entirely differently to you - there were huge shortages (rationing etc.) following the war. It probably simply doesn't make sense for him to spend money he doesn't need to.
Also, £150K may sound like a lot but it isn't really - a pension doesn't stretch far and he could live for another 30 plus years.

Answer 11

He seems to know the true value of assets, and if that is all he has, after a lifetime, then good luck to him. Why does it bother you? Not so many years ago, people had to manage without washing machines and other conveniences such as cars and televisions; most of them have survived to a good age. Be thankful for that. Look at what's on your own plate, and leave him in peace.