I stress and worry a lot about tiny things... Any advice please?

Question

I have this play coming up and I get stage fright, and I'm really not a confident person.I'm really stressed out about this play, I don't feel comfortable performing infront of my class, and theres only about 30 people... I find myself very self-conscious and I tend to worry about things that don't matter. I'm afraid to do things, and I get embarrassed easily. I get heaps of homework everyday... and I'm so worried about my grades even though I'm only 14. I remember one time I had this english assignment and I cried because I didn't know what to write and I kind of left it to the last minute - and now when I think about it i find it stupid that I even put so much effort into that assignment when it was worth nothing. I'm too busy living my life in my dreams. Oh and I usually hate going to school cause I don't like being asked to answer a question by my teacher just randomly. Jeez I don't know what to do with my life. I know I'm young, but i stress about nothing! helpp

Answer 1

When you say you're too busy living life in your dreams, it's because your imagination has become your refuge. I'm guessing that you feel that everything else is out of your control, and your life in your dreams is something you feel you CAN control?

Also too, in relation to assignments, etc. that you feel you HAVE to do and that are causing you a lot of stress, but then afterwards you realise that you are stressing over nothing. It's possibly a kind of a smoke and mirrors thing, and your wonderfully vivid imagination is providing you all kinds of worst-case scenarios.

I would like to remind you that you CAN control your imagination. When things get silly and you start imagining the worst, slap yourself on the wrist and tell yourself to get real. When you don't know what to write about something, stop crying, and write down in note form what do you know about that subject, and then start finding ways of working it into the theme that you have to write about. Use your gift of imagination to twist things, it's something you can channel.

And as for getting up and performing on stage, well, here's a tip. Those 30 people are only human, right? Imagine them all sitting on the toilet, with their knickers around their ankles. Imagine the worst and most critical ones with constipation; big, red, straining, unhappy, uncomfortable faces. It's happened to everyone, right? They, like you, are only human - and I'd say a fair few of thing are admiring you for having the guts to get up there and perform at age 14.

And if you mess it up, well, so what. It's really no big deal. You figure out where you went wrong, and you try not to make that mistake again. We all learn my our mistakes.

Answer 2

You are not stressed about "nothing." You say: ...I didn't know what to write and I kind of left it to the last minute..." Leaving something to the last minute can be deadly for a student.

There is no magic answer to stop the kind of anxiety you seem to be dealing with. Look, your "performance anxiety" is only justifiable to the extent that you are prepared for this "play" you mention. Indeed, one of the ways I know professonals would help you (with fear of speaking in public, which most of us have) to develop more confidence is to have you 1.) be sure you have thoroughly prepared for the event, and 2.) develop more confidence in being able to do it by focusing on the fact that you've prepared for it.

Then again, and I know this from being in college, many students do not spend adequate time in preparation for public speaking or performances because they have created too many time constraints or overloaded their schedules. This is a wider problem for students that will affect more than just your ability to give a presentation.

On a positive note: Try not to be overly concerned about what the 30 people will think of you and instead focus on what needs to be done. What needs to be done is more important than what the audience will think about you, unless your aim is to be an entertainer. If you want to be an entertainer you're setting yourself up for failure as soon as it seems the audience is either uninterested or unappreciative.

If this "play" is something you need to do, and don't want to do, all I can say is focus on what needs to be done, think confidently of yourself given you've done enough to adequately be prepared, and remember: This too shall pass.


This one you mention: "I usually hate going to school cause I don't like being asked to answer a question by my teacher just randomly." When teachers "randomly" pick a student to answer a question, it often is to try and determine not if you know the "right" answer, but to see if the person prepared for class by reading whatever was assigned. If you don't do the preparation, I hate to say it but your anxiety is justified. Go to class prepared, remind yourself that you are prepared, and your anxiety will go down.

Answer 3

just don't worry ABOUT THE TINY THINGS