Been married for 3 years and found out early this year when my wife's close lady friend told me that my wife told her she was having an affair. I confronted my wife and she said it was all an imagination story. She has always denied she did anything though there were previous situations like when she went on a vacation for two weeks she never called me. In a way I gave our marriage a change but 8 months later I now find I don't even love anymore, I don't trust her and she has changed by living more her own life by going out more by herself with friends. Has anyone still tried to save your marriage or did it just fail anyway and its better to start my new life again.
2007-10-08 20:56:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has a 15 year old daughter but there are no children between us.
2007-10-08 21:13:03 · update #1
If there are kids, work hard on it. No kids? If you can't trust her, get out. You might also feel better if you can get definite proof that she's cheating, but that might require a private investigator, and that costs money.
2007-10-08 21:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you don't love her and nobody is putting an effort in the marriage, you might just go your own way.
It's not like any one of you seems to be heartbroken.
I take it there's no children?
Besides, the fact that a close friend has told you, I'd believe it's true, whatever her motives for telling you.
You two need to sit down and have a proper talk to each other to know where you stand. What the future holds for you; Whether it's worth investing further in the marriage, or leave while you can still remain friends.
Good luck.x
2007-10-08 21:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not believe what your wife's friend said. You have to keep in mind that women are not nice to each other. I could totally see a woman saying to her friend's husband that her friend is cheating on him for several reasons: she is jealous, she likes you and wants to come in between the two of you, or she is just a troublemaker. Don't believe her. If she were really a true friend to your wife anyway she would not have told you that even if it were true, and it probably isn't. Only believe what you see for yourself. When you catch your wife with another man then she is cheating on you, and then you should dump her. When you get married you are making a life time commitment to that person regardless if you still love them or not. That is what marriage is-a lifetime commitment. If someone breaks that commitment then maybe you need to consider divorce. But if not then you need to work through this part of your marriage.
2007-10-08 21:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi look im going to be really honest with you right from the start ,and im not trying to be rude or anything ,but im i missing something here ,youre wifes friend tells you that youre wife is having an affair behind youre back and she tells you this is not happening ,so instead of believing youre wife who you married for 3 years you believe this so called friend how could be more than jealous that she isnt married to you ?!??,no i bet you never thought of it ,and to be really honest with you ,im not suprised that youre wife as you put it leading her life more seperate for you ,as i would be doing the same thing ,youre wife has had her daughter from a different relationship ,do you have any idea how hard it would have been for her to bring her daughter into a different relationship and not worry that it might not work and things between you and her daughter might not work (look i know what im talking about as i had the same issue ),and now she has been accussed of cheating and there isnt a once of proof except from this stirring friend ,and i bet when she dropped this bomb shell on youre lap ,it would be oh im so sorry .....if you need to talk im here for you ! For god sake man this is trying to destroy youre marriage and youre sitting back and letting it happen ........,my last thing im going to add is if you want out of this marriage then start divorce process and let this wife of youre go her own way with hwer daughter ,but remember ,if you do love this woman who you married and excepted her daughter into youre life as well,then you could be throwing away the best thing you have in youre life all because of this APPARENT BEST FRIEND OF YOURE WIFE ,to me more like a very jealous nasty bit of scum ,as what ever is going on in a marriage is to do with a man and wife ,good luck and take care and start talking to youre wife as she might not be that keen to talk to you as she will be really hurt and upset with this whole thing !!xx
2007-10-08 22:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do have kids you may want to try to work it out because there will be much more to deal with during the divorce and plus you will have to be somewhat involved with her for the rest of your life. But if there are no kids and you truly feel like the connection is lost and you dont love her anymore than that is a true sign to call it quits. even if the affair is true or not if your feelings are lost, you are only making yourself more miserable by staying with her. good luck
2007-10-08 21:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by Chip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your wife know how you feel, that you want to end the relationship and cannot trust her because of her vacations and no contacts, that you feel you are falling out of love for her if things do not change. By her reaction and action afterwards, you will know what to do.
2007-10-08 21:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest it sounds like she is not acting like a married woman and is behaving like a single woman.
I havnt saved a marriage but i have walked away from a long relationship. I felt like you as i stopped loving him (well at least i thought i did but realised it was mostly just anger and resentment)
Theres two kinds of woman
1 that go off with their girls, fall for other men and shut down because they are incredibly unhappy and they feel their man is not listening to them or fullifilling their needs, this kinda behaviour is usually for attention.
2 the woman who just give us woman a bad name and behave like twats.
You need to figure out which one she is and then you know if its worth working at!!!!
Personally i think your letting her get away with it and tonight you should go home and tell her this is unacceptable, she either wants to talk about why she is shutting down or she can leave and be single, no woman respects a pushover!!!
2007-10-08 22:07:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have exhausted all efforts to save your marriage and your wife seems not to be doing everything she can to save it herself, then i think it is time for you to move on...it seems that your wife has lost her feelings for you and is in fact living her life the way she wants it to be...that is not a sign of somebody being in love with her partner or giving a **** about the marriage...talk to your wife and tell her that you are tired of being the only one trying to make the marriage work...
2007-10-08 21:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by geisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's already distanced herself from you but doesnt have the guts to say that she wants a divorce. Life is short so make a wise decision and go and find your soul mate and be loved how you should be loved.
2007-10-08 21:42:51 · answer #9 · answered by mezziboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your already there,everybody has the reasons for slipping.no matter what happens shes your wife.your married,so why not save it?, i dont think you shouid go through the headache of divorse. you two shouid talk when the time is right
2007-10-08 21:14:36 · answer #10 · answered by thehottestbradpitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋