We have two kids, one in second grade, one 4 y.o. He moved out a year after he started an affair with a women who lives four blocks from me. My husband moved 3 blocks down the street.
It has been a year and I should be over this by now. It is hard because I run into them all of the time. Friends and family in the neighborhood have just taken to them like they are the couple of the century. I have tried three therapists and they all say that it is natural that I am having a hard time with this given that it is in my face all of the time. I can't move because of the terms of the custody order. Also, my daughter's school is two blocks away. If I leave this house, I can't afford anything that is less than ten miles away. That means that when I have my daughter, I will have to get her up an hour early and drive 50 minutes to get her to school.
The divorce is pending but he keeps asking for a continuance.
Anybody have a similar situation? How did you handle it? What helped?
2007-10-08 20:55:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is hard to get over a marriage, but you have to move on for the sake of your children and im sure even if he moved 20 miles from you he would still some how flaunt this women in your face, and honestly if you have shared custody, i would want to know the women he is involved with because she will surely be around your children on visitation, concentrate on your kids and yourself, it will get easier in time, and will go a lot faster if you stop dwelling on what could of been...life is too short ....
2007-10-08 22:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, no custody order is final, especially if the divorce is pending. Get your lawyer to file motion to set hearing, & see about amending the custody. If you have proof that it would better your lives elsewhere, & is more stable for the kids, then the Judge has to agree. It's the best interest of the child, these courts want. Also, your ex has to have legitiment reasons for delay in preceedings, or your lawyer is screwing you out of $$$. Get him to set hearing or change the venue. File for child support thru District Attorney's before divorce, so you can afford to move out of the hood. Right now he's the one living questionable, when it comes to healthy, wholesome environment.
2007-10-09 04:18:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
keep yourself and your mind cool. your life seems to be problematic. your husband has ignored, the most important relation, he is neither a good husband nor a good father.keep yourself busy with your kids, career and don't spare a minute thinking for your husband. now live life happily, you have your kids whom you have to look after, improve your personality, your skills,show your husband and society that you are leading a better life and will give good future to your kids. don't get involve in gossiping and back bitting. Do your office work honestly, talk and play with your kids, teach them good morals of life. don't be disappointed. face the situation confidently. make your and your kids life great. all depends on you and your atitude. GOD BLESS YOU.
2007-10-09 04:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by neelam s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You'll just have to wait for the court process to finalize.
Those who give advice to get a lawyer & screw him just prattle nonsense. The system has rules & regulations set down that must be followed. The ex has right as well.
It's all part of the process of growing up. Worse things have happened to others.
2007-10-09 04:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1) refuse the continuance and keep things going
2) walk a different route to the shops/school/work etc
30 If anyone starts talking about them just say
'Look, I am trying to move on with my lie and it is a little tactless of you to remind me of the situation. I would prefer not to talk about him or them.. Let's talk about something more interesting '.
Hope this helps in some small way.
2007-10-09 04:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep doing your therapy, bottom line, you are just going to have to stop letting them get to you. That is in your control. You have children with him so you are stuck with him and his new partner for the rest of your life. That is what happens when you have kids with someone.
You have got to learn to focus on the positives in your life. When you find yourself thinking of them, feeling hurt, find the things to be thankful for... like your kids, like the fact he can't hurt you anymore unless you let him. Take the power back from him... you don't have to let him hurt you.
2007-10-09 07:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the time away helped you get your priorities in line again. you can move ahead now and not be upset anymore.
it's best to move forward too, this will forever haunt you if you don't.
selfish people will always be selfish. they will never learn .
your husband is selfish, and that should be tolerated with a flat zero from you.
2007-10-09 04:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find a lawyer who plays hardball. You shouldn't have to keep dealing with continuances. A little revenge will feel good right now.
2007-10-09 03:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋