Everytime I get in a fight with one friend, I end up alienating myself from them all. I hate that about myself. I realize that so I am always desprately trying to not get in fights with people, which inevitably happen. I'm considerate of my friends feelings always, but they're never that way with mine. What can I do to change myself, I am open to all suggestions.
2007-10-08 18:53:16 · 3 answers · asked by linda 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Listen... you need to get a little something down. There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. That alone will make your life better.
The other thing... self-knowledge and self-control are your greatest assets. When you ready to step into it with one of your "friends" you need to bite your tongue and emotionally distance yourself to figure out what is going on, and try to ask them about it in a rational manner.
2007-10-08 19:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm like that too a little in that I try to completely avoid conflict with my friends, even though it's natural for people to disagree every so often, and when I do get into it with somebody, I feel really guilty and tend to avoid that person for awhile (I used to be worse). I guess it comes from having a more sensitive and reserved personality. Keep in mind, though, that prolonging the inevitable usually makes things worse. I try to keep in mind that my feelings are JUST as important as the feelings of others, but also try to not take myself TOO seriously (easier said than done though). Also, don't be in the mindset of 'other people aren't acting this way, so I need to change' - change should come from their end too if they aren't respecting your feelings. Just be confident, lighten up, see what happens! Life is too short to get too caught up in stuff like this!
2007-10-09 02:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by jcgamer107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you researched bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder?...i have both and before i was diagnosed i was experiencing the same thing that u are
2007-10-09 01:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by ld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋