One of my former friends who I considered one of my BFFs until very recently told everyone that I just pretended to be innocent because I let my boyfriend do things with me. When I say things, what I mean is that we pretty much have been to 3rd base but that's it. My boyfriend was pretty mad about it because he thought it was a secret we were keeping between each other. I couldn't help but feeling betrayed by her even though we aren't friends anymore. When I confronted her about it, she said we aren't friends anymore so she doens't have any loyalty to me at all. Is she right or not?
2007-10-08 18:38:21 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think that she should've thought twice about devulging private information of yours..... yes, maybe she felt good at the time having the 'talk' of your initial community of friends... but how would she feel if you did the same..... it is def a betrayal of friends even if you aren't anymore it just doesn't matter in my opinion...
just be better than her and don't do the same....... initially it will make you feel good but in the long run you will realize how petty and childish it actually is
2007-10-08 18:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by Caitlin P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You armed her and made her dangerous. You need to come up with tests for this sort of thing before divulging anything useful to someone who might become an enemy... which is anyone you go to school with... they are all looking for ways to build themselves up by putting others down.
So do you know anything about her that she wouldn't want out in public?
Something I don't understand is why people have BFFs and then break up with them like they were boyfriends... that is nuts. Why not have a broader cross-section of friends and just spend more time with people who are good to you? I don't give anyone the heave-ho... I just favor certain people.
Listen... you need to get a little something down. There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. That alone will make your life better.
2007-10-09 02:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes down to it, it's not a question of loyalty or not, it's a question of just plain decency. Next time you confront her about something like this, tell her that you have plenty of dirt that you could blab about her to anyone that passes by, but that you won't - not because you have any loyalty to her, but because you are a decent person & decent people don't go around talking about other people's private lives. In the end I'd just blow her off & tell your friends to watch their backs around her since she's a backstabber. Trust me in that while people may have listened to her with an open ear while she dished out your dirt, they're going to be extra cautious when they talk to her in the future.
As far as your guy goes, just let him know that friends talk about these things. It's like comparing notes so that each person knows what to do in that situation. I'd bet money that he's talked to his best friend about going to 3rd base (or at least heavily hinted about it) to his best friend.
2007-10-09 01:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
god, she's mean.
why are you even friends with her in the first place?
she's so wrong.
even though u are not friends,
u are not enemies either,
so what's her problem?
u should give her a slap in the face,
she totally deserves it.
2007-10-09 02:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by xiiao tra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋