My husband just hit me square in the because I said I did not want to be with him any longer. THe children saw this and was devasted they love their dad how can I ease their pain. also he was arrested and is on parole for a violence offense I think he is going to do some hard time.
2007-10-08 18:37:17 · 17 answers · asked by Regina C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chances are this was all presaged with lots of put-downs and control trips. The hitting usually starts as they have the woman's network of resources whittled down to nothing. The next stage of the archetypal abusive relationship will be for him to do the whole honeymoon make-up thing... then the next time the beating will be even worse... and it keeps going on until you finally bolt from the house in fear for your life. Do not stick around for this. No amount of counseling with help. Like you said, he has priors. He won't get hauled in for this unless you file charges.
Grab any and all financial records you can, pack your bags and all the kids' stuff and head home to mama.
You will need the statements from 401Ks, savings, CDs, IRAs, the house and anything else, so you can get 1/2 of all assets accrued during the marriage. You will need that to start over.
Let the kids know that hitting people is not right and that you, not they, should ever put up with it.
2007-10-08 18:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ok sounds like a lot of drama for one thing to much for the children in fact so its time to make a decision.
You really need to go and leave your husband for good and do some real soul searching. Domestic Violence is no joke its not something you should even tell others because if you are being beaten its a choice made by you. Hit once its him hit twice its all you.
Somewhere along the line you were taught by your mother and father you stick around and try to manipulate the other person into being the person you want them to be. I can't tell you how ridiculous that sounds "I love you now change" is not about love its about being to insecure, (lazy) to be with someone who is worth a damn.
Explain to your kids why you are still with daddy when he beats you and is going to Jail? Oh your father did not mean to hit mommy....
Well guess what your daughter and your son will grow up to either be abusers or the ones who endure the abuse by your example.
Get out now or no one will listen to you later. Everyone knows you have choice, so make the right one and quit with the excuses.
2007-10-08 18:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I stupidly thought my husband would stop being violent. I regret letting my daughters see that a man could get away with doing this to their mother. I am so impressed that you followed through and had him arrested. I applaud you. I put up with it for 14 years. I have injuries that will probably ache me forever. Begin a divorce while it is fresh in your mind. Get an order of protection if you didn't yet. He may try to apologize and say it will never happen again. Otherwise, he may try to make you feel responsible for it. My husband finally walked out. Best blessing that I could have gotten. Your kids may want to talk to a counselor about what happened.
2007-10-08 18:52:28 · answer #3 · answered by Emily 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to get a divorce while he is serving that hard time. As far as the kids, you have to explain to them that although you love someone, sometimes they have problems which you can not help them with. Tell them that what he did was domestic violence and that he cant stop himself from doing that so you have to leave before one of them or you get hurt, but that they need to remember what happens when a person is violent to another. many people who practice domestic violence learned that at home so they need to understand at a early age that it is wrong.
2007-10-08 18:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is it that you want to know???? and i think if the kids seen the violence you should tell them that not everyone is like that and maybe have them talkt o someone that can help explain what is going on..there is alot of help out there for this. he should be arrested. sorry the guy that did it to me was let go and depending on what state you are in look in to a protective order..so he can be around you or the kids.. but let me know anything else you would like to know i will try to give you the info or where to get it from..
2007-10-08 18:42:14 · answer #5 · answered by tco brandybell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from him. This will have an emotional impact on your children. You cannot let this happen. You don't say how old they are. It depends on what you tell them. Tell them that you are sorry that they saw that and people should not hit one another. Keep them out of these situations in the future. It is your job to keep them safe and this is not a safe environment for them. Good luck to you.
2007-10-08 20:45:25 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did. He left me, and I was sad about it. I don't know what to say but you are married to him and your kids love him so don't badmouth him to the kids. Just get out of that relationship. If he can't get his point across without hitting you then you don't need to be together. Sorry, it won't work. I tried. Get out while you are still young.
2007-10-08 18:45:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only if you press charges and don't let up...yes i am a survivor..my biggest regret was not showing up in court the day i prosecuted the *** who hurt me..he got off easy..live and learn they say..anyway your local police station can direct you to battered women's shelters..they have them all over the entire world
2007-10-08 18:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by angelstarszzzz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he is getting just what he deserves... this is not a man that you want as a role model for your children.
2007-10-08 18:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by DavidV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry the kids saw it and sorry you went through it, that said serves him right for hitting a woman
2007-10-08 18:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋