What are afew good quotes, jokes and inspirational words i can put in a newsletter to our elderly clients?

Question

I am writing a monthly newsletter to our elderly clients we care for and we need to fill in inspirational quotes, poems, jokes, etc that will keep them amused. Any help would be greatly appreciated

Answer 1

http://www.brainyquote.com

is an excellent quote source :)

Answer 2

Let your heart do the talking, so to speak! Once in a while I do write a newsletter for an organization and when I start, I have no idea of what I will write about; then I begin with a few key-words, and I write, write, write...
Then I correct the errors, add or substract a paragraph because it does not really belong there for the subject of the month I have selected. Then I send it to the pastor and sometimes she suggests changing a few words because it is a different language than mine and together we come up with a final version that goes on their internet site ( I do some translation too) as a volunteer.
I hope this can help you. From my own experience in that field.

You can also have them write a page relating a positive experience in their life and share it with other clients. They would feel good about it. So many are lonely and have no-one to tell those thing to.Suggestion of course.. They would feel like they are doing something in helping someone. Sharing is always a good thing for elderly people.

Answer 3

It takes less than a minute - work this out as you read it.


Be sure you DON'T READ THE BOTTOM until you've worked it out !!


This is not one of those waste of time things - it's fun







1.. First of all pick the numberof times per week that you would like to go out to eat ( more than once but less than 10 !)


2 Multiply this number by 2 ( just to be bold )


3 Add 5


4 Multiply it by 50


5 If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757... If you haven't, add 1756


6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


You should have a three digit number.


The first digit of this was your original number. ( ie. How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week )








The next two numbers are -







YOUR AGE ! --------------------------- ( Oh yes it is !!! )





THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK , SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

Answer 4

They may not like this first one:-

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.”

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
-- Mark Twain - American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer (1835-1910)

"God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference"
-- Anonymous

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."-- Robert Browning

"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy."
-- Unknown

No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative ...
"No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive."
-- John Cassavetes

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."-- Samuel Ullman

"Perhaps middle age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition, the shell of material accumulations and possessions, the shell of the ego. Perhaps one can shed at this stage in life as one sheds in beach-living; one's pride, one's false ambitions, one's mask, one's armor... Perhaps one can at last in middle age, if not earlier, be completely oneself. And what a liberation that would be!"
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh: Gift From the Sea

Do not forget the hands of the aged ...
"Do not forget the hands of the aged; they have touched much of life and have become sensitive and sympathetic."
-- Anonymous

"The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person."
-- Andy Rooney

Hope they help.

Answer 5

Here's a joke I hope you can use.
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota . He shot and dropped a bird,
but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked
him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if
you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in
North Dakota . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you
three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take
the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first
kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped
him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer
was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get
to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.


The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Answer 6

Remember not to put your medicine in your change purse. Why? I just swallowed 35cents
Just remeber most elderly don't mind being older they are proud to have made it this far I have one teneat that is 95 and pround or it each year she reminds us how old she is if she didn't we would probably not know it she gets around better than most of the 60 & 70 year olds.

Answer 7

in case you do no longer wish, you will no longer locate what's previous your hopes. St. Clement of Alexandra we are all inventors, each crusing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each via a private chart, of which there is not any reproduction. the international is all gates, all opportunities. Ralph Waldo Emerson seek for the lofty via analyzing, listening to and seeing super artwork at some 2nd on a daily basis. Thornton Wilder the only way of looking the bounds of the conceivable is via going previous them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke we are what we persistently do. Excellence, subsequently, isn't an act yet a habit. Aristotle artwork spares us from 3 evils: boredom, vice, and want. Voltaire adventure is the youngster of concept, and concept is the youngster of action. Benjamin Disraeli you are able to't plough a container via turning it over on your strategies. author Unknown the final way out is often by. Robert Frost do no longer wait to strike till ultimately the iron is warm; yet make it warm via extraordinary. William B. Sprague no longer something will ever be tried if all conceivable objections would desire to first be triumph over. Samuel Johnson Fortune favors the brave. Publius Terence He who hesitates is lost. Proverb our ultimate glory isn't in by no potential falling yet in increasing each time we fall. Confucius super spirits have continually encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein understanding isn't adequate; we would desire to prepare. prepared isn't adequate; we would desire to do. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe we are nevertheless masters of our destiny. we are nevertheless captains of our souls. Winston Churchill no longer something super became into ever achieved with out enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson For wish is however the dream of human beings that wake. Matthew previous consistent dripping hollows out a stone. Lucretius no longer something contributes plenty to tranquilize the strategies as a comfortable objective-- a factor on which the soul would restore its psychological eye. Mary Shelley

Answer 8

Here's one from Carl Sandburg which formed one of the cryptogram puzzles in my paper on Sunday:
"Count reminiscences like money".

Answer 9

http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jokes.amusing.humor.laughs/General/geriatric001.htm

This stie is a lot of fun with lots of material to use in a newsletter to elderly folks like you are describing.

Answer 10

Happiness is found somewhere between having too much and not having enough.