Lately I have been thinking alot about how my life would be if I wasn't married, and didn't have a child. I got married when I was young ( 19 ) so I figure its just because I thought I would be doing different things then what I am doing now...but now Im thinking about it all the time....having my own place, seeing different men, having friends around...and I don't want to make things in my marriage weird because I thinking about life without my husband...Am I just over reacting?
2007-10-08 16:36:44 · 14 answers · asked by nebthet1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am thinking these things...but I will tell you one thing for sure, I am not going to end my marriage, I love my husband and little one very much. Why do I have these thoughts though? And I just wanted to add that I live 40 min away from the town I grew up in , when i got married I moved out here because my husband likes it out of the city, so i dont have any friends here.
2007-10-08 16:57:17 · update #1
No honey, what you are doing is normal. You are just having a case of the "what ifs". We all do it, you probably more so than others because you see your friends who are still single and un-attached. However, while you are doing your daydreaming, consider the things that you do have in life that they don't. Like a child who is going to grow up while you are still young enough to enjoy life, a husband who is there 24/7 no matter what mood you are in, the family, the experience, etc. Your pros outweigh the cons honey, you just need to start appreciating them. And if life isn't what you envisioned it to be, there is nothing that stops you from changing it. Tomorrow the sun is going to come up again and it's a chance to start fresh...nothing is set in stone, and what you do today does not always have to steer the course of tomorrow.
I wish you luck, and hang in there honey, you'll find a balance.
2007-10-08 16:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little. Just because you're married with a family doesn't mean you can't have a life or go out and be involved in meaningful things. More to the point, your husband and children would probably support you if you did. DO you not want them around? I'd be very careful about the other men thing.
2007-10-08 16:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand those thoughts, and what the heck fantasize. But before anything is said or done make sure you come back to reality and think about life without your present family. This could be a what if question 5 years down the road, what if I stayed and raised my daughter, what if I was still with my husband. Only you know if you're really ready to act on that. Sounds like you need a hobby to keep your mind occupied - idle hands are the devils playground :)
2007-10-08 16:45:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, is the grass greener on the other side of the fence. It time to take assessment of your life. You cannot go back to change you life, but if you change your life now, what are you going to give up. I can tell you that you will learn really what you lost not the day you make the change, but months or years later it will dawn on you. At this point, you won't be a go back. My best advice is if your marriage is going just OK, try to make it better. I've know loss and loneliness. If your husband is abusing you (physical or mentally), I suggest to run. Good luck and God bless.
2007-10-08 17:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing you did & at the same age. You just have the feelings there is something you missed out on because you married & tied yourself down at such a young age. But, if you're happy, your marriage is going well, don't wonder what life wuld. be if it were different. Make the most out of what you now have & be happy about it. There are too many people out there who have no one & who are unhappy. Be thankful for what you have & work on making it even happier & better. Best to you...
2007-10-08 16:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by Sue C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as you should, there will come a time when you will have a life without your husband. But that will be the time you have lost him and you will probably be think how you could manage to live without him. We all have moments where we want to be alone, where we feel that we want to be single and live the life we see others live. Try talking to someone who is trying to get married but can't either because they can't find a partner or everybody has left them. Then you will realize that you have it better. The grass is always greener on the otherside as they say.
2007-10-08 16:45:20 · answer #6 · answered by Storm Shadow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you were married young so now you are wondering those things but if you love your husband, just dismiss that and realize that you made a choice that hopefully is giving you happiness now. if your life is boring and you are having those thoughts because of that, get a baby sitter at least once a month so that you and your husband can go out and do things together, meet with friends, see a movie, go bowling or dancing - anything that will make you happy that you have him and he has you.
2007-10-08 16:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will never truly understand all you are going through, but he should be able to be sensitive to your needs. Get him the book "The Expectant Father", try to get him more involved in the pregnancy, help him empathize. I am the father of two and doted on my wife during pregnancy- only said "no" once, at 2AM when she wanted Super Potato Oles from Taco Johns-- they weren't open that late... after she started crying and telling me I didn't love her, I made her my own version. If he still won't budge, you may have a man that doesn't have a clue-- no all men are NOT clueless- and I went to every OB appointment for both kids.
2016-05-19 21:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that the things that you are thinking about are typical for young married couples. But I believe it is the trick of the enemy (Satan) that is trying to take your mind off of the most important thing you have here on earth your family. When you get those thought you go and pray about it and ask God to help you overcome these feelings and rebuke all thoughts of separation. God designed marriage and He didn't design anything to fail. Trust me. I hope this helps.
2007-10-08 16:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're over-reacting. Everybody has what-if thoughts. Expecially those who marry young. If you're under any stress, that can cause you to have weird thoughts. Also, if you see other people your age living the single life, its normal to compare yourself. However, just realize that many single people are just looking for exactly what you have.
2007-10-08 17:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋