Good Advice needed?

Question

Okay so this might be a little long. So about 2 years ago I met this guy. We dated for a while but then we broke things off. A few months later he started dating this other girl. He would still tell me how much he liked me and how if him and his gf would break up he would be with me. Well, that went on for about a year. On one of their breaks in the summer we hooked up, and stayed really close every since then. About a month ago him and his gf broke up, and we've hooked up and have been getting closer. The problem is, he lives 3 hours away from me, because he moved to college.

Do you think it would all be worth it, or am I just in over my head in the whole situation???

Thanks a bunch!

Answer 1

if you need a **** buddy then go ahead

Answer 2

Guys in college are notorious for sleeping around a lot. I'm a fairly conservative guy, but even I went crazy for a while. You should break it off since he's three hours away. Or at least just make it a casual relationship.

Answer 3

Well college isn't forever but you sound like you are pretty young. I would just play the field and not get tied down to anyone now. If you meet someone and fall head over heals in love that might be a different story, but you don't sound like you are.

Answer 4

I would think you're setting yourself up for some problems. Sounds like he cannot stay true to the one he's with, so why would he be so with you? Yes, he COULD change and be faithful but the odds are against it in my mind to be honest. I mean c'mon! He's been with you while he was with the other girl too... that should be a red flag. Do yourself a favor and bypass a problem.

Answer 5

It can be very difficult to have a long distance relationship - especially if both of you have decided to be exclusive and not hook up with anyone else while you are apart. I think if the two of you are willing then go for it but it does take commitment.

Answer 6

in over Your head. when He told You that, if He and, His Girlfriend broke up, He would be back with, You, that was insurance just in case He had a time gap before He found another victim. He knew that, He wasn't going to be with Her long and, You were His backup. He is 3 hours away. She couldn't trust Him in town(He got with You), what makes You think, You can? if I were You, I would invest My time and, feelings in someone that, I might see a return in.

Answer 7

Only you know what type of relationship you have with this guy.

You need to decide how much potential you two have in the LONG run. If you can see yourself staying with him happily forever, than it MAY be worth the effort. This takes into account that he feels the same way you do. It may not always be the case.

How long are you going to spend apart?

I lived 3 hours from my girlfriend who was still in High school for 2 years. By the time we moved back into the same city, we no longer had the spark we started out with. Mind you we dated for a total of nearly 5 years. I was completely loyal and patient and by the time I was able to finally spend time with her, she wanted little to do with me.

It was a rough lesson to learn so it's hard for me to tell you to go for it because it will be worth it in the end. It really all depends on what the relationship means to both of you. If you two are truly compatible and you have good chemistry, you might be better off than I was. We had chemistry but no compatibility. I don't even know how to begin to explain it.

I suppose it would be easiest to say that we understood each other on an emotional level but we just never clicked intellectually. Now I realize this and it makes me look forward to spending time with someone with whom I could share a deep philosophical conversation.

Right now, oddly, I feel content just LOOKING around for the perfect woman for me. I've always had problems with lonliness but spending time with my friends and meeting women seems to make it manageble.

I can't tell you what will happen by holding on to this relationship but I can tell you that I regret being tied down when I should have been out looking for someone who was better for me than she was. It may sound selfish, but I have a responsibility to my own happiness before I can hope to make someone else happy.

I know from experience that when you're miserable in an experience, anyone else involved is also likely to become miserable.

Maybe you should consider just being friends while you're apart. Date other people until it's easier to spend time together. This will give him the chance to realize how valueble you may really be. Don't allow jealousy to enter your heart or mind because it will destroy your ability to think rationally. Jealousy is a powerful evil. Know that he's his own person with his own set of personal experiences.

Keep in mind that anyone he sees before you should only give him the appreciation for how special you really are to him. If he ends up with some other girl, perhaps she was better suited for him in the first place.

Love can be a painful game if you don't play it carefully. Just keep in mind that there is more than one single person out there and that there is no such thing as destiny or fate.

I believe that we ALL possess the capacity for happiness and there are several compatible people out there for each one of us. Never give up on love because a single fool breaks your heart.

I think I deviated from my point but let me leave you by saying that your choices are best made by YOU. Consider people's advice based on personal experience but know that everyone's experience is unique and your situation may differ in critical ways from theirs. Good luck. I hope you end up making the right choice!

Answer 8

He seems to be able to drift from one to another without difficulty. He's likely to continue to hurt you with this.