Is this weird to anyone else or am I being overly sensitive?

Question

Been happily separated for a year. My ex lives hours away and we have no contact with each other. I recently received a phone call from a woman that I know but not too well (she was a friend of my ex ). I am not fond of her at all but I have been cordial when I saw her. The last time I saw her was five years ago and she drained the s--t out of me. Anyway, She got my new phone number by showing up at my house when I wasn't there and telling my daughter that she and I were very good friends and she needed to talk to me. When the woman called she kept asking me how to get in touch with my ex because she was getting a divorce and HER Ex-husband (who is 500 miles away) was looking for a job with my ex husband. (She and her ex have always had my ex husband's phone number and email address. They did not have mine because I had changed both and never kept up with them by choice). She kept digging for info about us etc,. but I would not give any info and she seemed frustrated.

She also said that she had come by my house a month earlier looking for me and she talked to one of my neighbors. she did not leave a note or anything. (When I spoke to my neighbor about it, I was told that she did come by but she never asked for me like she had said and she only asked for him.) The entire time she was on the phone all she did was pick for information and then she would make absurd comments such as how she never felt as close to my ex and that she and I were better friends. I disagreed with her and --I really don't like her and never have and her words were really just nonsense. I also found out that she has gone to another one of my neighbor's homes asking around. This woman only met my neighbors one time five years ago and it was basically in passing. She started yelling and talking ugly when I didn't give her any info about my life. I told her to stay away from my family and home and to never call me or I would call the police.

By the way, my daughter is not a baby--she's 19.

To "The Mrs.": If you had read the very first part of my question, you would have seen that I have not had any contact with my ex for a year. That is by my choice. Where did you get the impression that I am spending my time wondering what and who he is doing? Just wondering.

Answer 1

~sounds like she is trying to get info about you, for your ex. OR, she is trying to hook up with your ex, because she wasnt in touch with him all along, it was really her husband that was in touch. hmmmmm
what did that mean...she drained the sh** out of you 5 years ago....that is the bigger question to be answered here today!~~~

Answer 2

She's a fruitcake. This sounds more like stalking than "getting back in touch". I'd file a temporary restraining order, and/or let your neighbors and the local police know that there's a woman who keeps showing up around your property and it's making you uncomfortable. And next time you talk to her, be blunt: tell her that you were never friends, you don't enjoy her company, and you didn't keep up with her by choice, not by accident. Tell her not to call and certainly not to stop by or dig around for info from your neighbors, and that if she does, you'll get the police involved. Bet that'll shut her up.

Or just tell her that you and your husband stay in touch, but only for booty calls, and that the only words you exchange are "Oh God" and "YES YES YES", so if she needs more information, she'll have to contact him on her own. LOL. Bet that'll shut her up, too.

Either way!

Answer 3

Maybe your ex was having an affair with this woman and he took off from her and does not want her to find him? If this is the case she was possibly trying to get close to you thinking you would have the information to contact him and trying to use you? The fact that she became frustrated was that she realized that she was not going to find him through you and this upset her. Something has gone on here because she appears to desperate in trying to find something out........If you are up to it maybe give your ex a call let him know that this woman is looking for him? Then ask him if she comes by again should you give her his phone number. If he says NO..then all of this may come together in why she came to you.

Answer 4

WOW! I would be tempted to move again! LOL! This woman has some issues. She sounds like a busy body that wants to be in everyone's business. The next time she contacts you I would be very frank with her. Just say something like, "Listen. I always thought of you as *enter ex-hubby's name*'s friend, and now that I've closed that chapter of my life I just feel really awkward talking to you. I'm sorry if that's coming across as rude, but until I sort this out for myself I would prefer if you gave me some space."
Then again, if you're bold like I tend to be sometimes, you can always go this route. When she starts to pry interrupt her in an obvious manner. Act really irritated and short, and say, "What exactly is it that you want because I feel like I'm being interrogated every time I see you!"
Either way, I'm sure she'll get the hint.

Answer 5

Anyone who goes through the trouble she did to track you down and find out your new phone number is a weirdo with a capital "W".

First...you need to change your phone number again to an unlisted number and let all of your close friends and family know that they are not to give it to anyone under any circumstances. If your number is to be given out, it should be only by you.

Then, if she keeps bugging you at your home...you need to call the cops and take out a restraining order on her. She is definitely obsessed with you and your former. For what reason? Who knows? She sounds like a stalker to me and I would be very careful. She might just go away...but, I doubt it.

Good Luck!
The Coach

Answer 6

That is weird and I applaud you for not giving any info. It's pretty sneaky using your daughter against you like that. I would have nothing to do with her, politely tell her to not call you again. If that doesn't work, change your number again.

Sounds like she may want to hook up with your ex. Makes no sense that she's getting a divorce and wants to help her ex find a job.

Answer 7

this is not weird at all but rather a loose cannon that can blow up possibly at any time. she wants to get something going with your ex husband and if she feels you get in her way, too bad. If she comes around your neighborhood again consider getting a restraining order to keep her away and perhaps talk to your local police about her for your protection and the protection of your daughter.

Answer 8

It seems weird to me too. I would continue to be straight forward with her and tell her you aren't friends. Ask her striaght out if she is interested in dating your ex. It seems like she must be. I don't know many women that would try and find their ex husbands a job! Keep telling her to leave you alone. If she really wants your ex's # she could get it.

I would call the cops if she doesn't back off. She basically harassing you.

Answer 9

No you are not being overly sensitive and it is weird. The woman sounds like a stalker and if she kept it up, I would look into getting a restraining order against her.

Has she continued to harass you even after you told her to leave you alone?

Answer 10

if telling her you don't want to be friends doesn't get rid of her then call the police.
I think its very weird...but I don't have contact with others so them talking to my neighbors would be useless. But yeah someone asking around about me would be creepy.

Answer 11

It sounds like she's a stalker.The next time you see her hanging around,call the police and then take out a restraining order.