As an young adult starting out in the world.
Do you have conflicting messages from your mother like:
If you dont call her for a week, shee will state to you that you hadnt called for a week.
You then call her every second day and she says you call too much.
You call less and she says you dont call enough.
You call more and she still says you dont call enough.
You get to calling everyday and she says you call too much.
Are you unfortunate enough to have a mother like this.
2007-10-08 15:58:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
This is not my mother or my situation thank god but a couple of girls have this issue that I know of.
2007-10-08 16:03:55 · update #1
Yeah, I had that happen too with my mom.
I go over and visit, bring flowers or a home-made cake for her, because she was lonely and had hardly any friends and was housebound for the most part and one day she said, 'why do you have to hang around here so much(once a week is too much?) haven't you got any friends?' I was doing it for her, spending some time with her and she just throws it back in my face. Nothing ever pleased her, so I just did my own thing because I have my own family now and the world doesn't revolve around her.
Luckily I don't have to worry anymore, she disowned me, haha.
2007-10-08 16:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Shivers 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I saw a similar version of this when I was your age from my mother. Mothers are accustomed to having full control of their kids for about 18 or so years then you go off on your own and they don't have that control any longer. Once this happens guilt is a pretty common tool to try to control your actions. It sounds like you still have a good relationship with your mother so I would suggest directly asking her how often she would like you to call, daily, every other day and if possible try to adhere by that. if she continues to complain and your following her request just remind her that this is what she wanted and ask her again what she would like from you. Sometimes moms just like to complain a little to receive a little sympathy for their boredom especially if you were the last to leave the nest. Just remember one of life's little lessons, nothing stays the same forever and one day you may loose your mother as I did this year and wish you could still make that call.
2007-10-08 17:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by michael z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no my mom just told me that why should she visit me I moved away from her so I should go there to see her. I heard that for a long time. It pissed me off. I used to live a 1/4 mile up from my parents it drove me nuts that's why I moved 2 hrs. away. WE'RE great now and speak on the phone sometimes a few times a week other times I can go almost two wks b4 speaking to her. Damn if u do Damn if u don't some mothers r never happy. Just tell them u love them as much as possible b/c u never know when it'll b ur last conversation with her.
2007-10-12 14:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Detroiter1967is outa here! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have a mother who is just like that...and the older she gets, the worse it gets... and five minutes after she berates me for something, she doesn't even remember doing it....lol! She'll come over to my house and first thing she does is a "cleanliness and organizational inventory"- if there's a piece of lint on the floor she asks me "when's the last time you vacuumed?" She's even been known to check to see if I've made my bed! I'm 37 years old for heaven's sake! (And once she told me that if I don't make my bed then sleeping in it will wear out the mattress...is it just me, or does that not even make logical sense?) Sometimes I swear she's developing a disorder. She's impossible to please, but I love her!
2007-10-08 16:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man or woman, we all have or had mothers. Mine is very similiar to what you describe and she also will let me say hello and then listen for 30 minutes as she describes the details of her life. By the time it's my turn either I've forgetten why I called or have no more time to talk! Then she complains I don't tell her anything about my life!! Thank goodness I can laugh about it now!
2007-10-08 17:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try this one:
second week of college. 8pm, just going out the door to grab a pizza with friends, house mother calls, there are police asking for me (huh?!) my mother hadn't heard from me since Wednesday night and got concerned, so called police.
Had been working for previous 6 hours, but no messages from her in past 48 hours! OMG! still makes me tear my hair out 25 years later!
2007-10-08 16:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by philos34002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never call my mother. That way she gets to decide how often we talk so I don't have to deal with that.
If she starts calling me too often, I will just start to act really obnoxious/annoying/bored/aggravated on the phone, so that way even though I don't tell her she's calling me too much she gets the message.
She's on sabbatical right now from work, and sometimes I get the impression that she's just really bored so she'll call me and expect me to "entertain" her. That's stupid. She's a grown woman, she should be able to occupy herself without bugging me so much.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom...but sometimes I really don't like her.
2007-10-08 16:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Now that I've read this, I'm Thinking I have done the same thing at times! LOL
Elisayn
2007-10-08 16:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by elisayn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she loves you, you are her baby.
so call her every other day.
and remind her that if she needs to talk to you about something, to call you.
2007-10-08 16:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by silkster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you been talking to my grandmother? Smile.
2007-10-08 16:09:22 · answer #10 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋