Would you leave your hubby if.... My hubby does not let me see what he makes and I just found one of his pay stubs and I'm SO UPSET!!! For one he works away from the home Mon-Fri and he always say's "I forgot my pay stub or I put it in the trash"... Me and my two kids eat like s**t all week and I'm sure by what he makes he eat's very well... Right now we are past due 2 mo's in rent, I have 2 Elc bills, and I had to go to the Salvation Army to get help paying my water it get's better I had to go to a church for food last week... He always say's well they take out so much out in taxes so on and so on... I have been with him for 16 yrs and I'm about to walk... The thing is he makes about 900 a week and gives me 200.00-400.00 A WEEK.... OHHHH and he has only paid in 1,358.00 in federal taxes all YEAR wtf is up with that....
2007-10-08 15:57:02 · 21 answers · asked by ~~Lisa~~ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As to what ((switchmi)) " SAID 16 YRS HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE" Yes 16 yrs I'm 33 and he is 32... I never said he was always this way now did I? Sh*t at 17 yrs old who know how he would be when he grew up and I wouls have never stayed for 16 yrs if that was the case it's been a yr that he has been doing this....
2007-10-09 00:37:56 · update #1
If he makes 900 a week then he probably takes home over $700 if he has only paid 1350 in taxes, he may take home more.
This sounds really bad.
Before you consider leaving make sure you have a job or something that will make up for the $200 he's giving you.
I wish you luck but If I were spending %70 of my paycheck and my wife was going to the Salvation Army for bill money...my Father-in-law would have shot me in the face.
2007-10-08 16:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by tpwine69 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here's some advise, hon...My mom started to hammer this into my head beginning when I was 13. See how you can slide into these to get a better handle on your life.... sounds like you married a jerk
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.
2007-10-08 16:25:41 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your husband "makes" $900 a week (he will later have to pay taxes on this), he is probably taking home $800 (even though he 'should' be taking home around $600 if he paid his taxes); and of this $800 he gives you $400 (or less), the he is keeping at least $400 for his own expenses.
You say that he works "away" from home, so therefore, he is spending his money on something else (I doubt he is saving).
It sounds to me that he may have a girlfriend somewhere, and he is spending money on her to help her live. Could you ask him about this? I know this may be difficult.
Even though he may have a girlfriend, his primary responsibility is to you and the kids; and if I am not mistaken, because he is neglecting you, you can take legal action. I believe you have grounds for a divorce, if this is what you choose.
If you do choose divorce, then you can get the court to "force" him to pay you alimony and child support. If you are in California, the courts tend to side with the person who takes custody of the children.
Best wishes.
2007-10-08 16:27:19 · answer #3 · answered by Paul S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think he is up to something more than you and your kids. I would explode. I mean you can sit and assume till hell freezes over and still get no where.
I am not so sure I would want to be with him any more . What the hell . This is just wrong. You better find a way to become self efficient and get along with your life without him. Good luck to you . Life is just to short to have to live like this .
Maybe you can ask him what he plans on doing the rest of his life , as this is not the way your going to live. Do you love him and want to go to counseling ? If so do it. If you don't then do not hesitate get done with it, I mean why waste anymore time. He seems like an empty sob letting his wife and kids eat like ****. I am furious . If I were your sister I would kick him in the *** .
2007-10-08 16:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by margo322 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The amounts aren't so important as the fact that he wouldnt let you in on them. 3600 a month after taxes is pretty good, so this shouldn't be an issue. Tell the guy I said man up and start being open. BTW- Tell him I said HE needs to tkae care of the back rent and the electric bills. And take care of his family or Im coming with the army.
2007-10-08 16:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can honestly say I would be upset, confused and wanting an explanation. Leaving is a decision only you can make, but I think the first step is getting that explanation. I think, at an absolute minimum, its time to sit down with hubby and find out what's going on. Perhaps there really is a good explanation - perhaps not. Find out the facts first ... then decide if its worth leaving or not. This is not a decision to be made quickly or in anger. Talk it out, listen, then think it out. In the end, only you can make the decision where your lines are.
Good luck!
2007-10-08 16:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by rose1077 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't have married a man that wanted to keep his pay check secret to me....Your husband's money is going somewhere very suspicious.....He is lying to you about far more than just his pay check.
I don't buy the baloney that he is saving the money to surprise you...why would a man do that.....and allow his family to eat "s**t".....get behind on rent, behind on utility bills, and force you to go to the Salvation Army for help....No decent man would allow this to happen.
In all fairness you really never said how long this has been going on with your husband.....I assumed that it had been going on your entire marriage....by the statement "I have been with him 16 yrs and I'm about to walk..."......implies that you have put up with this from him for that long.....unless you specifically said when this started nobody knows for sure how long you have dealt with it......Your husband is hiding money from you.....I am sorry but it sounds like he is spending money on someone else other than his family....and if my husband did this to me....I would DEFINITELY walk out the door.
2007-10-08 16:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
hmmm.....might want to get a foot in the door with alimony and child support - even if just as a bluff! Let him catch a glimpse of a preliminary worksheet where they figure out that he'll be left with crap and maybe he'll decide to be a better contributor all on his own. This site might give you a little more insight to your rights http://www.divorcenet.com
Good luck dear!
2007-10-08 16:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Nunya 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ask him what he is doing with the rest of his money. let him know you found the pay stub. and know what he is making and all. If he can not give you a good answer to your questions get the locks changed on the doors and file for divorce.
2007-10-08 16:04:56 · answer #9 · answered by George 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He sounds very selfish and very controlling as well.
There is no telling how much money this man has squirreled away in hidden accounts somewhere.
Start being sneaky. Find out all the details you possibly can about where all that money is going. Get facts, girl!
Do that first, then, get out of there, taking every penny you can get with you.
2007-10-08 16:11:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋