Do You Sometimes Have To Hurt Someone To Help Him/Her?

Question

Or is there always a non painful alternative?

Answer 1

First I always double check my motives. Will it really help, will it make a difference, is it necessary? If it is someone I care for deeply, & I see that they are on a collision course with reality, about to really trash their cage, I will appraoch them, but intent & timing are everything. I will wait till the person I care for is receptive, I always approarch with love, & I pick my words wisely. Many a time something that could have been painful can be stated with such love & concern for the one you love that your concern for them shines thru the words. If I really don't care for the person, it really is none of my business unless they ask for help, then all the above again applies. It only hurts when it is thoughtlessly said without reguard for their feelings or them as a person. Thanks. (((HUG)))

Answer 2

No.

The assumption her is that you know what will help them.

What if you are wrong?

You can help them by helping them and if that hurts them then it was their choice, and if it helps them then it was their choice as well and you had the privilege of being there for them to keep them company along the way, to spend time with them and treat them as a friend.

If you feel you have to hurt someone to be their friend then you have to ask yourself is that how I want my friend to treat me. Do I want them to deliberately hurt me to prove to themselves that they are right and I am wrong? Is that what a friend is to me?

You can disagree with friends all you want but in the end they have to live their own lives. You cannot live them for them.

There will come a day when they are old and tired and ready to move on and you will be faced with the question of do I hold on to them and watch them suffer or sit by their side and watch them pass as they wish. You will have to choose in that moment what type of friend are you.

I am guessing this is not where you saw this question going and it would be nice if my every answer was perfectly on target and told people what they need to read but I am just a voice in the wilderness and this is just an answer that could or could not help. You can take it and accept it or take it and throw it away like so many will.

That is life.

The answer is yes and yes. Yes it sometimes happens and yes there are alternatives. But you have to choose that alternative.

Answer 3

I'm not in the habit of going around imposing my "ideals" over others, when they are doing something that I may strongly disagree with, I will oftentimes keep it to myself unless they are affecting or hurting me, or someone else.
Now, if someone asks for my opinion, I will certainly be honest, it may or may not hurt, as truth can be that way sometimes, but I also expect for the people who care about me to do the same, if I were the one who needed a reality check.

Answer 4

Sometimes you do have to hurt someone to make then listen to the truth and see that you are only looking out for them

Answer 5

You can never judge how someone will react. But it is never necessary to intentionally hurt someone to try to do good for them. If you try that it will totally backfire. If you are just being honest with someone who needs to hear the honest truth, that is one thing. But if you say something to hurt or do something intentionally to 'shake someone up' then you are likely to make a lifelong enemy.

Answer 6

sometimes yes you have to Hurt someone to help them but other times ther are other alternatives.

Answer 7

That's an oxymoron. You cannot help them and hurt them at the same time. They may be hurt, but if you are truly helping, the hurt comes from within them, not you. That's why they call it tough love. peace

Answer 8

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When somone doesn't act on what he believes to be right, we need to tell without mincing words. That might hurt him but it will prove good for that person in the long run.

So motives behind the word or deed that hurt someone must be understood rightly whether it is for help or putting one down.
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Answer 9

Is this like that "tough love" some selfish people talk about when explaining why they want nothing to do with someone who really needs help?

Answer 10

I betrayed my friend's trust be reporting her to my middle school counselor. She told me she wanted to kill herself and I was scared for her. She confronted my friend demanding why she reported her to the counselors. I told my friend ( the one who threatened to kill herself) that I reported her because I was worried. Yes, she was mad at me for a while. She was hurt that I reported her, but in the long run, she became a better person. She got the support and help she really needed.