my husband is forty and i am 43 he tells me after 22years of marriage that he needs some space.?

Answer 1

tell him you needed a lawyer and wait to see what he says after he does the math.

Answer 2

Joyce, many are saying this, but it is so very true - men seem to go through this crisis when they reach a certain age; they look back on the goals they set when they were young and they want to grasp their youthfulness and virility once more. He is confused right now and I think he needs less space and more open communication with you. He needs to tell you how he is feeling and why so you two can come to terms with it all and find a solution. Look, he may be cheating; who knows? Some men do that also at this time in their life; they want that excitement back and all. I wouldn't give up on your marriage at this point, but I would have a heart-to-heart talk with him, as his friend, confidante and wife to get to the source of it all. I've suggested this site many times - but it is great for those going through relationship difficulties as many people there are experiencing the same and they have advise, experience and tools to use. www.marriagebuilders.com. Good luck to you both

Answer 3

This could be the whole mid-life crisis thing that does seem to hit men (and some women) about this time of their lives. They see that half their lives half passed, and perhaps they are not where they thought they would be, when they were twenty.
Some truly do just want some space to work through this, and some wonder what it would be like if they were single again - and start to act like they are. It is fairly common for affairs to happen at this time, as its common for some to buy things that they wouldn't normally buy to prove a youth they no longer can claim. Some resort to teenage behavior - drinking, risk taking, flirting, etc., in the hope of recapturing something of that youthful feeling.
Its like menopause in a way, its a change of life stage that eventually settles down, and life goes on.
The problem can be if, during this time, he does or says things that go beyond forgiveness. How far that is depends somewhat on you, and a whole lot on him.

Answer 4

NEVER, NEVER private a person from the space their need. Tell them what is the way you have to go in the relationship, he likes it or he doesn't and act accordingly to his verbal or action respose and leave, but you may want to accept the relationship is over since he said that, give him the space he wants, because that thing of needing space, is I will have you while I'm looking for someone else (maybe I'm wrong), make them look for someone else by themselves and don't be there just waiting. And by the way, if he sees you that way, may get the fresh breeze from the street once you open the door for him, that he may want to stay with you and don't go out.

Answer 5

Umm...you didn't actually ask a question there, dear.
Do you want to know what gives maybe? If so, then it could be a number of things. Most notably, either a mid-life crisis or cheating. However, you don't clarify what this "space" consists of. What's he asking for? He needs some space...are you smothering him? Does he want a separation? I'd hate to give any advice unless you throw out a few more details.

And to the IDIOT who made the "cradle snatching" comment, she said after 22 years of marriage, not that he was 22, you moron.

Answer 6

Its been my experience that when you here those three words, "need more space," it usually means that they have met someone, they have a friend or family that wants to hook them up, which happened to me, or they are already seeing someone. Next he will say something like your not doing things right anymore, like housework and cooking, then its your not taking care of yourself. These spouses need to find excuses to place the blame on someone other than themselves, and that would be you. I now know what I should have done. I should have told him well thats good because I need space to, and when I found out there was another woman, I should have said there was someone that I have been seeing. But, looking back now, it happened because it was supposed to. I am now 53 and married to the most wonderful, sweetest, giving man whom I love very much.

Try to ask him to be completely honest with you, and be prepared for the answer. Its hard to give something up that you put 22 years into. I wish the best for you!

Answer 7

Come up with your own requests which will make you feel more secure in your marriage. These requests must make your husband feel inadequate to meet your needs AND guilty when he wants time to himself. If your husband told you he was going to a bar, I would be very concerned about that. Why? Because if he was sitting in a bar he might meet other women and because he would be drinking alcohol he would be tempted to do things he might not otherwise do. If your spouse does not want to talk about where he is going and where he can be found in case of emergency, then, you have something to worry about. Anytime a spouse begins to hide his/her wherabouts and activities there is reason to be suspect.

Answer 8

OMG that is too hurt on your part, slapping his face isn't enough to heal the wounds he cause in your heart, can't really beleive to the guys capable to do that to thier women, although majority of the guys are very easy to say that to thier behalf, they are so selfish.

Anyway, give him a space he wants, insisting yourself for him is not a good idea but make it sure with him, when he turn his back on you no coming back needed anymore.

And for you miss joyce h, your still young life is too short just accept the fact and move on for the good future, your husband is not deserving for your love anymore......

Answer 9

That's code words for "I want someone else in the sack".

Tell him if he wants space, he can build a sundeck....otherwise, you aren't interested in letting him go wandering on Saturday nights.

Either he wants to be married or not. Tell him outright that "I need some space" is a bunch of crap; he just wants to have you securely at home while he checks out the competition....and in case he doesn't find anyone, he will have you to come home to. That's crap.

Answer 10

What is space? A separate bedroom? A separate apartment? Does he want to see other people?

Answer 11

Ouch, that must of hurt. Do you not have any idea as to why he thinks he needs some space? Did he explain to you why? Need a little more info.