What is the best you've heard?
2007-10-08 15:06:52 · 11 answers · asked by Rick G2 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital -
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive,
press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities,
press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional,
press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive,
it doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic,
press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar,
please leave a message
after the beep
or before the beep
or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.
If you have low self-esteem,
please hang up.
Our operators are too busy
to talk with you.
If you are menopausal,
put the gun down,
hang up,
turn on the fan,
lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde,
don't press any buttons,
you'll just mess it up.
2007-10-08 15:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by simplypsycho 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am SO changing my answering machine message in the next few days
2016-05-19 03:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by doreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was 9pm at night and a storm was blowing through, the message was....
Please leave a message after the beep as I am outside painting the house,when I come in and wash my hands I'll return your call.
They never returned the call... Must have blown off the ladder in the wind.
2007-10-08 15:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One that kept asking questions and talking to the caller. Very funny to listen to.
2007-10-08 15:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by Max 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Austin Powers one I have
2007-10-08 15:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by tin woman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have reached the home of (whoever) and,due to the advise of my attorney,please don't leave a message regarding ANYTHING!!!
2007-10-08 15:12:07 · answer #6 · answered by Dave 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im currently outside of my house right now. probably getting wasted off of mountain dew, or outside getting an anvil dropped on my head....anyways, if i make it back inside, just in case; leave a message containing your name and your number and if i remember i'll try to call you. you have one heck of a day!
2007-10-08 15:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lie the ones when you think theyre talking but not like the operator says hello? and your talking to yourself
2007-10-08 15:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by Taking Back A Fire Inside 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi...I'm probably home but I'm avoiding someone I don't like. If I don't return your call, it's you.
2007-10-08 15:20:43 · answer #9 · answered by Ta Dah! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mine..........please dont leave a message after the tone
2007-10-08 15:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by Just a guy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋