Has anyone else felt like this after divorce?

Question

My divorce will be final next week. I'm the one who filed. He was unfaithful.(more than once) I was doing alright at first but now the anger feels like it's wearing off into just sadness. But he doesn't really even seem to be bothered. I didn't tell him beforehand that I was filing & yet he still hasn't even said 2 words about getting divorced. But his lack of words has made me think he doesn't care. I can't help but think of the good & not the bad when I think of him. I don't want to get back together b/c I don't trust him & things wouldn't be the same. I miss him though.. the man I THOUGHT he was. I don't miss the man he really turned out to be. I hate the idea that someday(if not already) another woman will be w/my husband(& possibly married) He was supposed to be mine forever & now he won't be. What if he treats her better than me? Has anyone else felt like this after divorce? If so, does it get better? I just wish we could be together the way it was supposed to be.

Answer 1

Well, you're just gonna have to get pass all that!! He CHEATED ON YOU, that says he doesn't LOVE you, RESPECT you, or himself, the VOWS he took, meant nothing<(now those made a liar of him)!! You'll start getting well, and as time passes, you'll get well with an atitude!! good luck

Answer 2

yes, that's exactly how I feel especially once the anger fades, it's a rollercoaster of feelings, you have been concentrating in just the bad, now all the good things are comming up and then probably you will go back to the anger but less intense, and then back to missing the good stuff. Yes it gest better, is the process you have to go through and is perfectly normal. The question if someone will be with this person and be treated with respect is a question that bothers you.

Guess what?, it may happen or it may not happen. But you know what?, it's your fault, you didn't have the respect from this person, and the right thing was to leave. Probably if the other person is different than you, your husband will respect her - which I doubt.

But don't worry, you did the right thing because that was not a good life for you, and probably you tried everything you could in order to avoid what happened, you know what you want for your life and that is excellent. Concentrate in how you can be a better person and learn, don't worry about what happens with him, or how he lives his life and if he has or not or will have or not another partner, pay attention to what's going on in your life, which is the one that counts.

Answer 3

Funny, it made me feel younger and alive. I guess it's all in perspective and how you choose to deal with things. I stayed for the kids (which I don't recommend) and was over 40 when I left. I was 45. It's been 4 years now and I am re-married to a wonderful man who is several years younger than me. Life is strange. Bad times cycle through and then there is happiness. After the divorce and before I started dating again, I had a date night with myself and would get together with old friends that I had let fall to the wayside when I was in my most depressed period before the divorce. It was a great way to reconnect and get out of the house. Girlfriends can be a great source of comfort and wisdom, especially if they've been where you are now. Good luck in your future, you will be happy again sometime. I'm certain of that.

Answer 4

You are just going through the emotions of separation. This is all normal and yes it will get better. These things just take time. Don't expect to feel better in a couple of days and remember that the divorce is only paper not feelings. Just focus your mind on other activities and stay sociable with friends. This will help you deal with things more quickly. Good luck.

Answer 5

No, I never felt like that at all. I filed for my divorce myself as well (he cheated) and when it was final, I was feeling all the contrary from you. I was screaming, jumping up and down and thanking the court clerk who informed me about it over the phone. He had no choice but to laugh.

I'm sure it's natural to feel the way you do. We all deal with situations such as divorce, separations, etc differently. For me it was a relief, something I really was looking forward to. A reason to celebrate what for me was the official end of one life and the wonderful beginning of a new one that has been so much better.

Good luck. Everything will fall into place for you. You're just going through your personal motions.

Answer 6

it will get better.
a divorce is kind of like a death. it's healthy and normal to allow yourself to grieve for the loss a little bit.
it's good to think positively and all the rest of it, but if you just go on about your business like nothing happened all of the feelings you suppressed will come back to bite you in the ^ss.
btw statistically women always do better than men in the long run when it comes to divorces and breakups, because women talk about their feelings and get it all out. it's nasty and ugly for a little while, but then it's done! men will often keep it inside until their guts have completely rotted.

Answer 7

First anger, then confused, sadness is next. You will feel happier with time and soon he will be a memory of good and bad. Everyone has alot of emotional thoughts of regret but, hang in there. You did the right thing. Chin up!

Answer 8

You will get though this it is just going to take time. A lot of people feel this way. When I got divorce I was happy but at one point I felt a little depressed so I know how you feel.

Answer 9

i know the feeling.
rightly or wrongly, i have worried about how he has talked about me. even to the woman he had an affair with, it bothers me that she thinks terrible things about me that aren't true. i have behaved impeccably and admirably and never did anything vengeful or to get back, yet still my reputation is ruined amongst his co-workers, bosses and friends because they believe him.
down the track, he'll meet someone else and she'll believe terrible things too. i can't control what perception others have of my but I SHOULD be able to through my own actions.

i hope for your sake it gets better and you meet someone wonderful before he meets anyone else.

Answer 10

I felt that way in the beginning but now when he came begging back I said No,,, and it was the best thing ever happened to me,,,So, hang in there and good luck.