I'm friends with an older woman who serves as a mentor for me, and she's been acting very strange lately. I think she may be depressed. She's all but disappeared from my life, and she barely takes care of herself--when I do see her, she always looks poorly groomed, sometimes not even washing her hair. She constantly complains of having no appetite and various health problems, as well as her failing marriage and how unhappy she is living in her house. I don't know what to do. How should I handle this situation? What's wrong with her?
2007-10-08 14:05:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's not your problem, it is hers. It sounds like a bout of depression. Being a mentor, it would seem that she would know enough to go get some help for herself, as you mentioned she is older, perhaps menopause is beginning for her, and that may also explain her behavior and feelings. She needs to go to a GP, all you can do is suggest to her, she is a grown woman, she knows what to do.
2007-10-08 14:13:06 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She should see her health care provider. Can you see that an appointment is made? And that she gets there? You should not do this behind her back, as she could resent it and it could cause mis-trust. Ask her who she sees, get the number, make an appointment. Ask her about her Medicare and how she pays for doctor's visits. Ask her if she'll give you permission to accompany her to the doctor, and even go into the exam room (at least until you can let the doctor or nurse know about her symptoms). Tell her you care about her and that you are her friend. You'll probably have to take control here, but in a very gentle way.
Let the doctor know that you are involved in her life and are interested in seeing that she continues to improve. Then make certain that you follow up on your commitment.
Thank goodness she has you in her life.
I wish you both the best of luck.
2007-10-08 14:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's your friend so take care of her till she gets through this. Do whatever little or great you can. Listen to her stories give her advice when you have it. Don't make up excuses or advise on the spot when you have no answers for her. That will just be patronizing her.
Be with her, she is your friend. One day it will come to an end this hard time she has. She will be grateful for what you have done for her.
Try prayer as well. You'd be surprised how much power there is in prayer. Just make sure you're praying to God and not a myth.
2007-10-08 14:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by the old dog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive and encouraging. She will probably come to the conclusion that things have to change. It can take years for a person to get to that point and some never do. Try to be patient and understanding. It is always easier to see the answer or make a decision when you aren't the one dealing with the consequences. Try to be a good friend by letting her know she can talk to you or just hang out with you and you are behind her whatever she decides.
2007-10-08 18:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by lexi8998 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, tell her to seek help from a mental health professional. It sounds like she is depressed because things aren't going so well for her and she may need help to get the courage to get a separation/divorce.
Give her space during this time until she gets a little bit of a handle over it.
2007-10-08 14:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's depressed, as you guessed. To help write her a blank greeting card letting her know you've appreciated what she did for you while she was able, that you see she's dealing with hard problems now herself, and that out of respect for her, you will seek other mentoring for now. Then thank her again, for all she did.
If you face her saying this, she'll be forced to confront the reality that she's fallen short of continuing her mentor role, and she's already confronting a full plate.
2007-10-08 18:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Dinah 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depression for sure. offer to accompany her to the doctor. If she refuses thn speak to one of her other friends or family members who may have influence over her. Err on the side of caution-- you don't want to end up saying "I should have..."
2007-10-08 14:10:59 · answer #7 · answered by b e 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is being the 'victim'. not much you can do other than encouraging her to see a shrink.
2007-10-08 14:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋