I "like" someone a lot but he's not making any moves. Maybe he's just not that into me. Or maybe I gotta take the 1st step?
2007-10-08 12:39:26 · 19 answers · asked by tooinvolved1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Honesty is always the best policy, but not the over-the-top direct kind.
I would say the first step is to ask for a private cup of coffee sometime; something small like that. It's a step that may let him know that you are interested, but also one that is easily let go without him getting scared off by any sudden intensity or you getting hurt if he refuses.
Sometimes people can be oblivious and if they won't make a move, and it's something you want to pursue, you should ^^
Good luck.
2007-10-08 12:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by sketch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flirt, but pretend you're doing it in a joking way - like you flirt with everyone. Keep it up for awhile, and eventually something will creep into either his voice or yours to give one of you away. ;-)
If that's too bold for you, here are some other ideas that are more "subtle":
- buy him a bouquet of flowers and take one of the flowers out for yourself (make sure it's one of the kind of flowers still in the bouquet if you happen to send one with mixed types). Have the bouquet sent to him anonymously, making sure that the flower you kept is sitting somewhere inconspicuous, but visible - Somewhere on your desk or maybe even as part of a hair decoration. This lets you off the hook because he can't be sure it's not just a coincidence, while giving him enough of an idea of the possibility to make further moves;
- slip him an anonymous note saying you're interested, but wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable by disclosing your identity in the event that he is not. Tell him that if there's someone he likes in the office, to try to find a way to mention a certain "code" word in the course of the conversation - "Lassie", perhaps. If he surprises you by chatting with you all of a sudden, make it easy for the conversation to turn to topics that would permit him to say the word - but not too easy. For instance, if you use "Lassie", try to refrain from talking about 50's tv shows or border collies, mentioning instead perhaps that you were thinking of getting a pet but aren't sure if you should go for a cat or a dog.
That should be enough to give you some other ideas. Good luck! ;-)
2007-10-08 19:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by uncleclover 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well I think its strange for a women to make "the 1st move" b/c if he's not thinking that much about u to do it himself then he's probably shy or just doesn't like u that way....I'm gonna be honest...not tell u what u want to hear.
with my experiance with men...its better for them to make the 1st move....b/c u don't make yourself look foolish. Jumping up and down in a dudes face, who's not paying attention to u any way, just makes u look desperate. All I can say is...maybe he's just shy...he'll come around if not...at least u didn't lose anything....just a crush.
2007-10-08 19:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am from the old school of thinking and thus I believe that the man should make the first move. I know that lots of gals aren't in agreement with me, yet I think that if you go and make the first move...you are somehow short cutting what lies beyond had you waited...
You can show him that you are interested with your eyes and warm smile...perhaps even gently touching his shoulder as you enlist him in conversation.
Read the book, "The Rules," to get a better idea of how to proceed...
I hope that this helps
Tonie C. Wallace
www.onlinetoniewallace.com
For more ideas, come visit me at my website...
2007-10-08 19:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by Tonie W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a day and time when we can ask anyone anything. It takes the frustration and guess work out of life.
Just ask the guy what he thinks of you and is there a chance you guys can spend more time together.
If the guy gives you an indirect answer...he's not. If he says "yes" and adds to his answer...guess what. You've got your answer.
The folks out here have no real clue if this dude likes you or is interested in you or not. The only one that holds the answer is the dude you are interested in.
You go to the source.
2007-10-08 19:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by cadvadvocate 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men are really more shy than females; if a woman takes the first step, many men would be frightened off. If you wait, you might wait forever.
Usually the best solution is to tell a mutual friend that you are interested and willing to begin a relationship.
2007-10-08 19:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by Nothingusefullearnedinschool 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to go and do something together, like a walk in the park or a trip to the zoo. There is plenty of opportunity there to chat and find out what he likes and it builds common memories. Going to the movies and even dinner doesn't afford the chance to communicate like the above two recommendations.
I am more forward, I invite a guy for sex immediately and then we can chat afterwards.
Good luck.
2007-10-08 21:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best way is to watch his actions when he is with you..If he is interested he will try to spent more time with you and act in a different way than he to other gal's,By that way u can make sure if he is onto you...Good luck
2007-10-08 19:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by ronyjosephphilip 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women need to not be afraid to make the move. If you like him, make the move.
2007-10-08 19:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by sum gui 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make the first move. Guys dig that!
2007-10-08 19:41:46 · answer #10 · answered by J7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋