My Friend Needs Some Serious Help, and I Don't Know What To Do Anymore!?

Question

I have a really great friend who is getting in some serious trouble. He's a year older than me, in 9th grade, and I consider him to be the big brother I never had. I love him to death, but it just doesn't seem to be enough anymore.
You see, I don't get to see him much, but he's got this really horrible girlfriend. She manipulative and inconsiderate; plus she's cheating on him with three different guys that he KNOWS about!
He's gotten into a lot of trouble because of her. She's got him hooked on sleeping pillls and is having sex with him. He's fifteen for God's sake! But the worst part is, is that his parents found out about it all and won't let him see her anymore. Normally this would be a good thing, but he's decided he won't eat until they let him see her!
He could die being this stupid! Currently it's been a week and a half and he's only eaten an apple. I just don't know what to do. But she's actually encouraging him to be anorexic.
What do I do? I'm so worried..

Answer 1

There's nothing you can do for him, but be there when he needs to talk. At this point, he's still caught up in an emotional seperation, and he isn't seeing clearly. A good time to talk about it would be months down the road. Help him reflect on the relationship so that he doesn't end up in the same situation.

As for the not eating, I'm sure his parents are aware, and are watching him closely.

Answer 2

This girlfriend definitely sounds messed up, and he's being really immature and stupid thinking that a hunger strike will convince anyone that this is a healthy relationship. It sounds like they both need professional therapy to deal with their body image and self-esteem issues.
Do his parents know about the hunger strike? Are they aware of how little he's really eating? If not, you need to tell them immediately. His parents should also meet with her parents to discuss the situations, and make sure she is also getting the help she needs.

This is way out of your hands, and only the intervention of trained therapists, school administrators, loving parents, and caring friends can protect this guy from himself. Unfortunately, no one can save him if he doesn't want to be saved - he'll need help to beat this, but he needs to be willing to fight.

Answer 3

If you can talk on phone with him, just start Laughing! See if he wont catch the giggles,too.If he starts laughing, he will soon feel hungry as a bear. His parents love him and stopped some bad behaviors. Good for him. Help him count his blessings! Tell him you are sorry those pills messed up his ability to think straight! Not eating proves his good thinking is impaired just like alcohol impairs good thinking and get people killed. Bad thinking wont let him see his parents are right or feel their love. Tell funny jokes or stuff to make him laugh. Fastest cure for blahs he's got from not eating. You love him,but his parents love him more and know what to do, and hospitalize him if needed. Anyway, people rarely die from not eating. (Dick Gregory fasted a month--but,he also prayed. )Tell him you love him and Pray for him. If possilbe, Pray with him over phone. God has blessed you for being so loving and caring. I pray you keep on doing God's work. You "Loved thy neighbor,as thyself". I pray for you and your friend. It feels so great to see such clear headed-got his head -screwed right- teen like you! Your friend will be OK, sooner than you think.

Answer 4

Warn his parents, do they know he is not eating? He needs therapy, life's let downs happen almost on a daily basis, disappointments we have to keep looking for the positive.

She apparently is still having contact to encourage him, try and make him see that, that alone proves how she is only thinking about herself, if she really cared no way would she approve, because he is still growing he could do irreperable damage if he is allowed to continue even end up hospitalized. Please tell, even if it means your friendship for awhile because I am sure he will come around to see who really cared after all.

Answer 5

Confront him.
What a stupid girlfriend.
There are a lot of woman that are much better than who she is.
You would be an excellent girlfriend because you worry! And the best thing guys love is worryness.
He is not very bright. He's gotten in so much trouble because of her, she isn't worth it.
Good luck with your friend.

Answer 6

You're really in no position to affect change in this situation. I suppose you could put a scare into his girlfriend, but that'd be illegal. Maybe you could drag him into the school's counselor's office? Other than that, just be his friend for as long as it lasts.

Answer 7

he'll get over it. its better this way, eventually he'll eat come on, that's just stupid. and when he's all sick he'll wish he never did that. and he'll feel like an ***! if he doesnt give in well he's just an idiot and if he doesnt even care about his health then you should just tell him that you wont care either. but talk to him first tell him to stop being an idiot then if he doesnt listen just walk away i know you care but he's a moron! he should know better than act like that, then again though, he's a stupid little kid!! well good luck

Answer 8

well yeah that's horrible in so many ways well, first you need to try to talk to him about what he's doing and that the girlfriend he has is no good for him and what he's doing to himself is really bad for his health and well if that does not work well at least you tried to help and talk to him.

Answer 9

Your friend sounds like he needs professional help. He should be seeing a physciatrist or a counselor.

Answer 10

i understand how hard this must be for you. it even distressed me when i first read this. i assume that you've talked to him about this, and i assume he hasn't listened. so talk to him about it more. a lot more. refuse to talk about anything else until he eats. bring him cake and cookies and sugary sweets to tempt him into eating. if all else fails, tell a teacher. and you'll probably want to mention that you want your name left out.