She is saying that she wants to do whatever she wants and not have to answer to anyone.
2007-10-08 10:47:34 · 54 answers · asked by M W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is feeling like she has been a wife and a mother for so long that she has forgotten how to be herself.
Give her the space that she needs. Let her go out and party the night away, as long as she comes home to you and your bed. She will get fed up again with partying and realise that the grass isn't always greener and that she is much better off being in a relationship with you!
Unfortunately, there is no way to tell her this without it getting her back up so, if you love her, you have to let her find out for herself.
2007-10-08 10:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by Tatsbabe 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Going Through A Midlife Crisis
2016-11-18 03:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like a mid-life crisis. That sounds like someone who got married young and never had a chance to see and do things before she got married. she has gotten to the point where she can't hold back her feelings anymore. I don't know how you treat her. If you are controlling, or don't let her make decisions, you need to give her more space. On the other hand, you could be the greatest husband but she just wants to be selfish and do whatever she wants regardless of your feelings or the marriage. You two need some counseling so that you can get back a balance in your marriage.
2007-10-08 10:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A mid life crisis is not a laughing matter. Your wife needs space to examine her life. It is very important that you give her that space with a condition, you are doing it because you love her. You are her husband, but you are also her best friend. Tell her she can talk to you about anything. We all have those moments where things way heavy on our hearts and mind, but she doesn't have to do it alone. Be there for her by not being there. Good luck.
2007-10-08 10:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
She's bored. Either with herself, you, the marriage, who knows. Maybe life has been a little routine. Maybe she has felt like your wife for so long, she doesn't feel like herself anymore. She may just need to get out of the house and have some fun without having to run it by you first. Doesn't mean she is fooling around like some people said before. Shake things up a bit, give her some excitement, go somewhere, do something different in the bedroom, just break the routine. Most importantly, show her you still love her and be patient, she needs to know that she has the freedom to do what she wants, and still have you by her side.
2007-10-08 11:21:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I need some time....I need some space. I just need to find myself. These are the words of someone who has their cake and wants to eat it too.
All of these things unfortunately mean - Someone is showing me interest and I want to try out the waters. By the time you hear those words 99.9% of the time it is already happening.
The BEST thing you can do is give her what she asks for - without anger. Walk away without anger!!! Tell her you don't deserve to be treated like this and that you are surprised she would do this to you. But you don't deserve this and you hope she is happy.
Get SUPER busy. Go do something you love to do...hobbies, friends etc. Change your focus. If you focus on her you will become mentally unstable, irrational, angry and depressed.
Right now she is holding an anchor that will drag you and her under. Give her the space she needs to feel like it will feel when she is alone. Allow her so "swim" back to you. But make sure you swim fairly far away to she worries about YOU drifting off.
You both went into this for forever. If she is attempting to re-write the contract that is a breach of contract.
She is confused and will try to reel you back in when you "drift". But she won't let go of her anchor unless you swim far enough away so that she has to make the decision to drop the anchor and swim to you - with great effort - or stay with the anchor and see where that get her.
Good luck and I hope this helps. That is a very tough road you are on.
Regards.
2007-10-08 11:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by IronHook 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Pretty much means that she wants some space. Maybe she is feeling bored or worn out from the marriage or maybe she is just going through something that she does not feel like talking about. It is also possible that she may be considering moving on. The best thing you can do is respect her wishes and be supportive. Give her some space, but also let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk or just to have a shoulder to lean on.
2007-10-08 10:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by Scooter_The_Squirrels_Wifey 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You'll have to ask her. No one else knows what that means.
It definitely is going to try your patience, but if she'll talk about it, that's a good sign.
Here's the thing to bear in mind: all divorces happen for one of two reasons; 1) someone expects the other to change after marriage, and 2) someone expects the other NOT to change.
She wants to change. You can't stop it. All you can do is decide if you can live with the result, assuming the result wants to live with you.
Have you been paying attention to other things going on with her? Something happening to her parents could cause a resurfacing of some unresolved issues in that area. Maybe the kids are growing up, college, marriage, driver's licenses? That makes folks re-think their roles in life. Maybe a friend just published a book, so she wants to go back to her dream of acting, painting, or something like that.
No one here can explain it to you. Talk to her about it, and most of all....
LISTEN!!!!!
2007-10-08 10:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by open4one 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh my God...(I'm literally calling on God) Help this man not do what my ex did.
Find support. I mean Good Moral Support. If you don't handle this right you may loose her.
Be a man. Know who you are with or without her.
Be understanding. Realize you can't force anyone to do anything right or wrong. Don't use marriage to cage her.
Be loving,-not smothering.
Give her her space, but let her see (not hear) that life goes on with or with out her. Be respectful.
If she is not pulling her weight bring in people to fill in, family, friends etc... If you have no support go to a church and find it! I am so serious. (this will let her know life goes on with or with out her) If you have kids... she probably isn't going to like seeing others doing her job, unless she is on crack or something.
Never guilt her... she will do that fine herself. Love.Love. Love. Read the scripture on my profile.
Most of all don't run right into the arms of another chick because you can't stand on your own. If she can see you stand on your own with out her and holding down the fort, being the leader while she is bailing and you can still show her love and respect, this may very well bring her back. Unless she has gone to drugs to deal with the guilt. Don't make her feel guilty in order to deal she may get on drugs & alchohol. She should know you love her and don't fall apart. Let her see you hurt, but not balling and curling up in the fetal position. Do that with your support group.
This may be the beginning of an emotional divorce and the rules of marriage no longer apply. She may be with someone else depending on how you deal with this. You are in a critical situation that only a man could deal with. The only man I know that has dealt with this over and over successfully is Jesus.
I write all this knowing you most likely will not even heed it.
Love, Respect, and Life Goes On....
You may contact me if you wish on this.
2007-10-08 11:53:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Number one: Be thankful that she told you. Mine just went out and got a guy...
Number two: Give her not only what she is asking for, but offer freedom over and above that - it will help her feel less 'trapped', which is probably what she is feeling now. If she gets some breathiing room she'll come around.
And remember: How you handle this request is gonna tell her a lot about you, and whether you are someone she can stay with.
You hearin' me?
2007-10-08 10:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋