Well I didn't think I was because I had my period last month (and we used a condom) but I found out today that I am for sure pregnant. I had been throwing up 4-5 times a day and couldn't figure it out, so I went to the dr today and he confirmed it.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, with a little break in there, but we recently broke up due to the fact that he started having feelings for his ex, who he also has a child with. (It sounds trashy, but it really isn't, they were married and she couldn't handle the military lifestyle.) Anyway, how in the world do I tell him? For some reason I'm afraid he will be mad at me, though this wasn't intentional in the least! We were still together before he left. He is gone on a mission for a week so he won't be able to receive mail til he gets back and I don't know how to tell him. He won't be back in the states until Aug. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm a senior in college and he's 28, I'm afraid I won't have his support.
2007-10-08 09:41:27 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Thanks, I don't really need to be told that we shouldn't have been having sex. He's the only one I've been with and it was only after 2 years, so I'm not just someone who sleeps around and is asking for it. I'm not in the mindset that I should wait until I'm married, though I am religious, and respect other's/your beliefs. I don't really want advice making me feel bad about a mistake I made, because rest assured, I already do. Thanks
2007-10-08 09:54:17 · update #1
Honestly, the problem is not his feelings for his ex, but the fact that the two of YOU were being sexually active and you weren't married.
Yeah, go ahead and give me a thumbs down for saying that but I ask you - how many times do you see MARRIED women on here scared to death because they might be pregnant? It's always single women. The fact is, without marriage there is no "real" commitment or security. Nothing ironclad to protect the mother and child.
So I doubt you would be so worried about this pregnancy if you and your boyfriend were married and had that emotional and financial security.
As it is, you're just going to have to be very up front and honest. There is no way to soft pedal news like this. He's going to be a father (again) and he's probably not ready. If he is truly having feelings for his ex, and he feels a responsibility for her and his child, then I would say to you let go of him and don't try to stay together or marry quickly for this baby.
You made one mistake (sex before marriage)....don't make it worse by adding others on to it.
Instead, to avoid your being a single working mother (it's TOUGH) adoption would be your best option. I know the thought of giving up your baby might seem very hard, but surely you realize that usually the right thing to do is also usually the hardest thing to do. It's a sacrifice you need to make for your child to give him/her the best life possible - a life you CAN'T provide right now.
Prayers for you and baby.
2007-10-08 09:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 6⤊ 5⤋
Sweetheart- Follow your heart! Do you want a baby? If you do then it is totally your decision. I would hope he will support you in your decision, and take responsibilty for his child. This is a blessing. I wish you the best in luck - I advise you just tell him you need to talk to him about something serious, and you need an honest opinion from him. Hope all will be well. I know your scared, as we all would be .... But this is a big decision your are facing, and you can't be afraid of a gift so beautiful.
:)
2007-10-08 09:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by H.B.I.C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definatly tell him. It does take two. He knew what he was doing and it is nobodys fault. It is done and you are going to have a baby so congratulations! But definatly send him a letter and let him know. The sooner the better so you don't have to worry. Only time will tell what will happen but you need to stay strong and healthy! Good luck!
2007-10-08 10:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him. If you dont feel comfortable speaking to him on the phone, send him a long letter and express your concerns.
**And for VERITAS'S comment. I am a married woman and I have been married 2 yrs and been together a total of 7 yrs and I would still be scared if I found out that I was pregnant. You didnt make a correct statement.
2007-10-08 09:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well if he's the only one you were with then there's is no explaining to do! He'll have to accept it for what it is. He is going to be a father (again). you may be surprised by his reaction. as far as ways to tell him you could send him a card that says "congratulations" inside with the doctor confirmed pregnancy report taped inside. i really do wish you the best of luck with everything.
2007-10-08 09:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by dixiedarlin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him If hes mad so be it. He has to support you if this is his child. That's all it comes down to anyways who cares if your not married.
2007-10-08 09:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he is able to get mail, you could send him a onesie that says "my daddy is a Marine or what ever it is he is in. Or a Halloween/Thanksgiving Day card for a dad. I am sure he will be happy.
2007-10-08 09:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jaime P 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋