What should I do with this Restraining order?

Question

I am about to receive a restraining order, I don’t want to go to court. I don’t care if this girl gets one on me, I know I was wrong, nothing violent, but just emails and text since we broke up. What will happen if I don’t show up for court? I don’t care what she says about me, the judge is going to order the same RO either way. So why should I go to court I will just have a bad attitude? I don’t care if I ever see her again, and yes I lied to her and will get it either way, so what is the difference? This is not a criminal matter so what difference does it make? We have no kids, and live in the same state. I just want all of this to be over so why should I go to court?

People you cant get jailed for something that is a civil matter.

Answer 1

you don't have to go to court unless you wish to contest it, she will win by default

what do you do with the restraining order? obey it or it does become a criminal matter

Answer 2

Go to court. Do your absolute best to speak ONLY to the judge. "Yes, Sir", and "Yes, Your Honor" should be the things you say the most.

If you don't go, you'll be in contempt, and that could get you arrested. If you go and are a smart-a$$, you can also be found in contempt and jailed. AND, the judge can put further restrictions on your activities, that weren't part of the original RO.

Dress appropriately (no jeans, nothing saggy) Tuck in your shirt, ditch the jewelry and cover your tattoos. Stand up straight, make eye contact with the judge. You NEED to look like a responsible adult, who will follow the rules of the RO.

This is what he needs to hear: "Your honor, I understand that the plaintiff wishes to terminate all contact between us. I will honor the terms of the order, and hope that this matter is behind us all soon."

You see, the more calm and rational and adult YOU look and behave, the LESS calm and rational SHE appears to be. Don't let her get to you. You can simply ignore her if you choose.

Answer 3

Actually, you don't have to go to court unless you have been served a summons by a process server or a sheriff's deputy. If you have a summons to appear in court, then you had best show up, or you will have more than just a restraint order against you. Just show up, listen to your ex tell the judge what a dog you are, knowing he is going to see the evidence for himself, and take his ruling like a man. Then leave, don't cast eyes on this woman ever again, take a lesson from what you have been through, and get on with your life.

Answer 4

Go, stand up for yourself or even go to show the judge your compassion. You really dont know that he is going to give it to her, if he does then he will have to hear your side. It sounds like you were just really upset and had to let her have it. Maybe she deserved it or not but if you havent been trying to contact her for a while or weeks before the court date and before you receive the notice of the court date then that will show that you are not bothering her. Plus restraining orders show up when you go for a job and other background checks. Go to court and see if you cant get a warning or something. This will haunt you down the line if you dont.
Good Luck Sweetie!

Answer 5

I Do Agree With You. But You HAve To Go To Court For Two Reasons...Firstly They Just Need You To Go For The Books...For The Records Just To Show...And Secondly Because Otherwise You Will Get Punished If You Didn't Turn Up...But I Do Get Your Point...x

Answer 6

there should be a detective on the matter. call them up. let them know you are aware of the open matter and fully accept it. you are unable to attend the hearing. and yes sweetie, it is a criminal matter. it's heard in the criminal courts.and it will be on your record. just find out for sure whether or not a warrant will be served on the matter. because of you are ordered to appear by the courts, you might piss off the judge for not showing up like he instructed you to and get jail time for pissing him off. then it will turn into a more bigger legal problem.

Answer 7

You really should go to court to tell the Judge your side. This looks bad on paper, should you ever need to get a security enforced job, any type of Government work, not to mention having to deal with the stalking laws. If you go, there might be a great chance to talk to the Judge and let his know you are sincere about leaving her alone, and he/she might not approve one.
To be safe,and to make her feel better, you should go. If you really want this behind you, let her know that you realize your mistake and will not trouble her in the future, then, leave it, and her alone. Forever.

Answer 8

I would think, unless you get a court order to be in court that day. You shouldn't have to. But to be safe, you should check your local laws. make sure you obey the restraining order or you will be in court if not jail. Good Luck

Answer 9

I don't think you have to go to court for a restraining order, but check with a lawyer or the court officer. And sweetheart, they don't issue restraining orders because you didn't do something wrong. Knock it off and be a grown up. If you are pathological, get professional help.

Answer 10

If they have served you papers to be in court then you have to be there or they will bring a police man to your door and excort you there. If there have been no papers served to you to appear then you do not have to go. If she went to court to just get an restraining order then you would not be going anyway, they would only serve it to you and tell you had to stay away from her and not make any contact with her. so.. if you feel you are going to get papers to appear then it has to be for another reason.