why do i always focus on the negative?

Question

even when i receive a compliment, im always in my head " oh they didn't mean that, they were just being nice"..but when i hear someone say something mean about me, i accept it as truth, i hate this way of thinking, and when someone does say something mean i have trouble getting over it, and i keep thinking about it over and over again..

Answer 1

you focus on the negative because our world today IS a negative one. everything we think of others (ie- bush, celebrities...) is negative.
name 3 positive things bush has done.
now name 3 negative things.
the negative things were easier to come up with, huh?

Answer 2

It is NOT easier to be negative rather than positive, and don't let people tell you that. Somehow, along the way in your journey of life, you developed a defense of always expecting the worst because if you expect the worst, then you wont be surprised with something more horrible than what your already thinking. It's always a nice surprise when your hit with something better than you expected the outcome to be, right? The problem is that you need to figure out what happened in your childhood that made you develop this defense and who made you feel as though you don't deserve anything better. Remember, you cannot fix this if you don't attack the root of the problem.

Answer 3

because you choose to focus on the negative.
why do you make this choice? perhaps you have low self-esteem? perhaps you have a fear of rejection?
love yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, then you can believe it when others give you a compliment and if someone says something mean you can get over it and know they were wrong.

Answer 4

You might be suffering from a low-self esteem. You need to see a cognitive therapist who can change your mode of self-defeating thinking. You maybe need to change other aspects of your life like perhpas exercising, which boosts your energy and makes you feel better about yourself. Also buy positive books to gain inspiration. You need to change your way of thinking so remember to see that therapist i mentioned early. Dieting too is good!

Answer 5

because being positive is a lot harder than beening negative. Its easy so say, "Well today sucked." than find out what really mattered to you in the day

Answer 6

Conditioning. If you grew up in that sort of environment, it becomes second nature. If you live with constant put-downs, you'll find it easy to put yourself down. If you live with continual encouragement, you can adapt to that too.

Surround yourself with those you want to be like.

Answer 7

Examine your past, parental patterns for one, this is a learned behaviour not something you were born with.