Wanting another man to sleep with the wife?

Question

I read in a magazine that a lot of men fantasize about their wife sleeping with another man. I have talked this over with a friend and his explanation is that fear is intensely erotic, as such the guy ends up loving what he fears the most. The torture and tension of your wife being unfaithful to you is relieved by actually wanting it to happen. My take on that it relates to the alpha male syndrome, the male subsconscously feels his wife deserves better, and he matches her with someone he considers superior to himself, more worthy of her and more capable of giving her sexual gratification. Would like to anybody with an opinion or experience to contribute. Thanks

Answer 1

This is making me so sick!
Even animals don't behave like that.
They want to be THE one and ONLY one being able to mate with their female, so to me it says only one thing, that those men are SICK, period.
Complete perverts!

Answer 2

Maybe Fantasy-wise, it's arousing...but in reality, I think it would damage the relationship badly.

Have you ever seen Indecent Proposal with Demi Moore and Robert Redford?

Her character's husband and her get an offer of 1 million dollars if she has sex with Redford.

Maybe it's not quite in the category you're speaking of, since it's more about money. But the point is, some things should remain in fantasy land. Just like Threesomes.

I have fantasies about my guy being with another girl...but I would never in a million years want it to come true. Something about it being forbidden or horrific is a turn on, in a way.

You're kind of making it sound like some kind of animal instinct or reaction, and I don't really agree with that whole, "Alpha male" concept. It's just sexual fantasy or perversion. No smart, caring, and loving man would want to see his partner being screwed by another person, unless something was off in his head.

Answer 3

I have that same fantasy, but it deals nothing with fear. Nothing at all. My reasons for wanting it is that I don't see sex as love. I see it as a fun practice that two people engage in. I know how my wife feels and acts when I make love to her and I am secure enough to know that we love each other. The question that I get most often is, "what if the other guy is better?" My answer to that is that although I know I am pretty damn good in the sack, I am also not so naive to think I am the best ever. I know there are several guys out there that are "better" than me, but I know that I am good enough to hold my own. It is just the thought and eroticism of watching your wife get pleasured by another man or woman and seeing their reaction that turns me on. Not fear.

Answer 4

Voyeurism is a form of fetish in which a person finds sexual satisfaction in watching others engaged in sexual acts. This can explain some of the cases where men want their wife to be with another man. Some men really enjoy watching their wives being pleasured, and they can see more of it as a spectator rather than a participant. Part of it may be power - "you can have her for now, but she'll always come back to me". Degradation/humiliation (as you suggested, "I'm not good enough"). And then there is just the act being considered socially taboo. For some folks doing somethign socially "wrong" is a turn on.

Answer 5

uhhhh, Kc...animals do act like that...there are very few species that are monogamous.
A lot? I've met very few men who are comfortable with their wives sleeping with other men. Though I don't know exactly what it is that makes the ones I've met comfortable with the idea. I don't think that its because they think their wife deserves better and seeks someone superior to himself...that would be simply not possible because they were too arrogant to ever think another man superior. Though these guys did seem to hold a high regard to their wives or GF they certainly didn't put them on a pedestal. Most just enjoy it as sexual play, voyeurism if you will. Doing something naughty and forbidden.

Answer 6

If I thought it wouldn't affect our relationship I'd go for it in a heartbeat. Wife fantasizes about another m in the mix...as do I. I'd rather have 2 female but the chance of that is much lower as my wife is jealous type, and I'm less so.

The voyeur theory was well put by someone above. Its a "safe" way to experience that without being a "peeper".

Answer 7

This behavior is guaranteed to ruin your relationship!!!
Have you talked to your wife? I bet she would just be disgusted, ecspecially if she loves you and is satisfied with you, If you think youre not enough have you ever considered trying toys? There a great way to enhance any sexual relationship they come in many sizes and textures, maybe try that first before you possibly ruin your relationship,, or seriously offend your wife..I would be mad as hell if my husband even suggested it, in my mind and hopefully his we got married to be with eachother only, seems silly to make those vows for any other reason..

Answer 8

This will also bring jealousy. Has also broken up relationships, the wife then leaves for another man.

Be prepared for what ever happens. Good or bad

Answer 9

its ur business its ur life if you want to bring another male into ur wifes sexual life. In my opinion i think its a great idea. Been there and done that..and its very exciting and satisfying...more pleasure and more fun to your bedroom. Its a wonderful experience, however you do have to be very open minded and make sure you wont be jealous over it..otherwise it will cause problems. But its fun...

Answer 10

Wow. This is way too intense. I would say though that if this fantasy actually hurts a man in any way, then this fantasy is definitely not healthy and therefore some psychological treatment might be needed.

Answer 11

Some men fantasize about that,is indeed true.Others never will even think; about giving their wives, to another man.And others men, want somebody else to have sex with their wives,because they can not satisfy their wives enough.Good question.