I am about to be 22 and my boyfriend is going to be 28. We have been together for a little over a year. When we first got together we stayed up hours upon hours just talking. By about the 3rd week we pratically knew everything there was to know about each other. We both had children before we got together. Then we had a child together. He has previously been married. I have not but my other child's father and I was together for about 5 years. I feel like I have known him for so long and he feels the same way. He talked about wanting to get married before our son was born. I told him I wasn't ready yet. I told him I don't want to get married just because we have a kid together. I came from a home where my mother and father got married when they were 18 because they had a child together. They then had 2 more and the got divorced when the youngest was 2. I don't want that. I mean I love him to death and he loves me to. I finally have made the decision that I am ready. Am I ready?
2007-10-08 07:16:39 · 18 answers · asked by TJW21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Having served as a singles minister for a few years, I have some advice for you, should you choose to hear it. There are some things the two of you can do to improve the chances of having a great marriage. This is just statistical stuff. 1) Date for at least two years before getting married. 2) Get the approval of both of your families. This will avoid having the comment come up years later that they "never liked him anyway." 3) Get pre-marital counseling for a few months. A counselor will bring up things that agreeing on now, will prevent bad arguments later. 4) Decide who is going to write the checks and pay the bills. Prepare a budget NOW instead of arguing about it later. How much can each of you spend on "stuff." How do you go about changing the amounts as the years go by. This is one of the major reasons people get divorced. 5) Go to Church together with a group of people that will encourage you to stay married and in love with one another. It's easy to take advice from sad, lonely, and angry people at work who tell you; "I wouldn't put up with that, you need to dump the bum." Beware of the naked person who offers you his shirt! Statistics show that if you do these things the chance of having a good marriage increase dramatically.
"Blended" families are tough to put together. If you are committed to a decision to marry now, be sure to involve the kids in your marriage discussions. Make sure they know where they stand with you and your future husband. Who is going to discipline? How will your kids feel, and how do you feel about this guy disciplining them. How does their father feel about it. You really need to discuss these issues before the marriage and make sure that everybody buys in.
2007-10-08 08:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generations change. Like grandparents got married young and stayed together 50 years or more. Then you got the parents and most are divorce. Then you got us. If you are not ready DON"T. But don;t live in the future bc you never know what will happen. Most of our generation live together. But the only problem, with that is the benefits of just being married
2007-10-08 07:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by amberjake1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure, hon, the age does certainly rely..... What you prefer at 17 isn't the comparable as what you prefer in an significant different at 27. in case you have not finished your education (college or a occupation or salable potential) and each and each of you yet would not have guidance and a reliable activity, then you definately at the instant are not yet waiting to marry. in case you have not controlled funds, a kinfolk or comprehend the thank you to try this, you at the instant are not yet waiting to marry. If each and each of you is coming from a house consisting of your mothers and dads right into a house of your guy or woman, you at the instant are not waiting to marry. ( And for particular, you at the instant are not waiting to be mothers and dads, until eventually you have some geese in a row, have a magnificent relationship of a minimum of three years residing mutually as husband and spouse, and are arranged to: unfastened many nights sleep with a screaming, colic infant, a stressful new child of two, the time invested in nurturing, and rebellious little ones, and this not counting the investment of $250,000 in yet another guy or woman to age 20, who will possibly not even such as you.... having a new child would not assure a worrying grownup new child.) Are you waiting to marry? No. Volunteering on projects is a some distance cry from know-how that Marriage is: appreciate, Admiration, interest and believe, with distinctive lovies, fixing changes devoid of rage, having plenty in undemanding, taking good care of the different's ideas, permitting one yet another area, and at cases only "shutting the hell up." Your politics, faith, recommendations on little ones, race, and tutorial and psychological ranges could be close. Your hobbies would nicely be shared, besides as carried out for my area. and you may agree how further time and funds could be spent. Are you waiting to marry?
2016-10-06 07:52:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this has been said in here but I will reiterate it to you. The fact that you are asking on yahoo questions is evidence enough to me that you are trying to justify getting married. Big decisions never need justification if they are right. Therefore you are most likely not ready. Sit down and really think about it. The answers will come to you.
2007-10-08 16:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by Vinsanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judging by what you have said and your past history (and his) I would say you are still a long way from being ready to marry him.
When you are ready you will only talk to your closest friends about it, not random people on the internet.
2007-10-08 07:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two really love each other but what worries me is that you are asking the question. If you want to be sure why don't you separate (just for a week or so) and see if you can live without the other...missing them etc.
2007-10-08 07:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people are not ready for marriage, the fact that you are 22 makes you one of most of those people. It also sounds like your BF is 28 going on 20, I guess girls do mature faster than guys huh?
2007-10-08 07:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by bettercockster3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can tell you if you are ready to be married.
Only YOU can answer that question. If you are seeing the opinions of others and don't really feel in your heart 100 percent that you are ready....then you are not.
2007-10-08 07:21:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no no no....you are definitely way too young to marry just yet...
books not boys...get that education...depend on no man...tell yourself that you are a worthy person who's going places...get degreed...be independent.... he will find you....
men are like flowers....you will have a beautiful bouquet of flowers and will be able to pick whichever one you desire.....just never rush into anything...
you will know when you are ready...if you have to ask someone if you should marry, you never will be ready....
listen to your spirit, because sometimes your heart confuses your mind and hence, wrong decisions made...
pray to GOD for all your answers too!
2007-10-08 07:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey if ur not ready then i dont know who is i mean look at u besides y would u think about divorce n all come on those could happen to anyone at anytime u cant control it so just live ur live n have ur weddin
2007-10-08 08:14:46 · answer #10 · answered by Albert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋