Why would a girl not take out child support?

Question

It was only a sexual relationship.Now he is married has a new baby he takes care of.What stops her?

The child is taken to the dads mothers house every weekend.She wants him to see the baby .

She is 19 her parents are raising the child

Answer 1

pride, or maybe he didn't want the kid and she did so she feels she should be the only person financially responsible.

Answer 2

Dear Gin,

I have a feeling that the girl doesn't want to get child support because she believes that if she asks for it, he will be entitled to visitation. Perhaps, she wants nothing further to do with this man, or she feels he will be a bad influence on her child.

Odd, though, that she didn't think of this BEFORE she made a baby with him. I guess that sometimes people don't really think things through before they take action. Often, a father will exercise his visitation for a while and then tire of it. The mom can STILL get child support WHETHER OR NOT the father is visiting his child. The law doesn't care if he is visiting, it just wants the child to have the necessities that child support will cover. So, if I were the mom, I would get child support in place. It's a smart move and a good thing for the child. :)

Answer 3

Some people dread court and all the stress that goes with it. These people will avoid court even when it's in their own best interest to go. If this 'girl' receives any assistance from the state then the state will eventually catch up to the biological father and pursue a support order regardless of what she wants to do. If the relationship was abusive to her she may be afraid of 'making him angry'. Also she may not want him to have anything to do with this child.
I had two children over the years and never went to court for child support. Nor did I ever receive ANY. The first child's father was from a short relationship, and I didn't want him in our lives, I told him I made the decision to have this child on my own( I was nineteen) so he is not on the birth certificate. The second dad (6 years later ) is on the birth cert. stated he wanted to be involved but wasn't. He has always worked off the books because of who he is and the numerous people who he wronged in his life wanting a 'piece' of him.
The reason I didn't go? I believe that men who father children are morally responsible for the children they help to create. In other words it's up to them to do the right thing, they have to live with themselves. I relied on instant karma. I have seen their lives and how karma does work -it's not pretty.
I will say now though, (feel free to share this with her)that I should have gone to court because what I failed to consider in my youth was my children's right to be financially taken care of by both parents. My children grew up way below the poverty line and it certainly limits opportunities for them and writes upon the slate of who they are.(I worked in the non profit sector-meaning low salaries). So now my advice would be "to hell with nobility and taking the high road" as regards support. Children deserve child support. Plain and simple as that. and the biological parents desires be damned. It really isn't about the adults it's about the child's best interest. If I could go back I would, not out of vengeance or bitterness but on behalf of my children, as my chidren's voice.

Answer 4

i think your question has been answered with the idea that if he pays child support he then has rights. also to collect child support most times they can demand a paternity test if there already hasnt been one established. so if thats whats bothering her she either, A) like said, doesnt want him to have any more rights to the child, or B) isnt really sure he is the dad.

Answer 5

I had a child at 18 with my boyfriend at the time. We had an abusive terrible relationship that lasted for a couple of years, and was filled with drugs, partying, and cheating. I finally, after catching him doing drugs one more time, walked out and took my daughter.

This was 4 years ago. My daughter is now 6. The biological father has not spoken to her or attempted to make any contact. He is still doing drugs, he has spent much of the last few years in prison for burglary and drug charges. I have since remarried and my husband has taken on the role of the father.

I am currently in the preceedings to have all of my daughterss rights taken from the biological father. He has made his choice as to how he wants his life. My daughter plays no part in that.

I chose not to ask for child support because I want to cut all ties with him. I do not want, nor do I need his money. I want him out of our lives, until my daughter is old enough to understood, and if she chooses to seek him out when she is an adult, that is her right. I will not hide anything from her, but I feel that being under my care, it is my job as her mother to protect her from this man who has a documented history of CDV against me, long history of drug abuse, and a criminal record that grows larger as the years pass.

He tried, during a mediation session, to ask for occasional visitation. I refused, as he did not have a home of his own (he was living with his brother, also a convicted felon, his mother, who also does drugs, and one of her random boyfriends who i know nothing about), doesn't have a car, a steady source of income (other than dealing drugs and robbing people), and partakes in illegal activity. My lawyer advised him that because I did not ask for child support, he would have to hire his own lawyer to seek visitation, and along with visitation, he would be ordered to pay back child support and start paying monthly payments.

My ex then stated that if he had to pay child support, he would go back to prison because he wasn't paying. He has not paid anything for over 4 years.

He is now back in prison, facing over 10 years for assaulting and injuring a police officer, along with illegal gun charges and assault and battery. My final hearing will be soon, and I will be getting all rights to my daughter.

Sorry that was such a long story, but the reason I never sought child support was because I wanted to cut all ties with this guy. I did not want money in exchange for putting my 6 year old daughter in a dangerous situation with him. Like I said, when she is of age, and chooses to know her biological father, I can't stop her. But as of now, she is much better off without this trash in her life. She has a mommy and daddy who love and support her, we own a nice house, she wears nice clothing, has plenty of toys, and a little brother. We do not drink or do drugs or partake in illegal activity. She is in a good, safe household, and no amount of money would have me compromise that.

Answer 6

Is there a chance that he & his wife could offer her child a better life? would he want her then to pay childsupport? Would it ruin his marrriage ? There are a million possibilities. Why not ask her!

Answer 7

possibly because if she takes child support she also has to give him visitation rights and she doesn't want to do that.

Answer 8

it depends on her situation i don't ask for child support because it gives her dad right to have her and he letshis wife beat our daughter

Answer 9

she would rather do it alone then have him involved in any way.