I have known this male friend since high school and we always been good friends. We would hang out, go to the movies, restaurant and etc. We lost touch with each other since I been married but he contacted me recently and wants to hang out again. My husband does not believe that a female and male can have a friendship without developing feelings occuring. We're both in relationship and have never crossed that line with each other even when we both were not in a relationship. I told my husband I think he feels this way because he always ended up in bed with his female friends. I would never do any thing that my husband did not like but I just think he is taking it out of proportion because I believe two people from the opposite sex in a relationship can be friends. Is it possible or am I being selfish.
2007-10-08 06:08:11 · 20 answers · asked by Palyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It definitely depends on your relationship. If your husband really feels a certain way then you have to respect that. You can still be friends but not hanging out friends. You can always stay in contact with your friend through emails and maybe over the phone. Try and see if your husband would go on a double date and maybe his opinion about your friend might change. Its about respecting want each other wants.
2007-10-08 06:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by littlez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible for you but is it possible for husband to accept, I have never seen it work out that way with a couple. Men think women only want one thing from another man and that is sex. you know why because that is all they would want , men just can't accept that you can have a male friend that you really like and admire, but if you go on and see this other man, it's going to be hell to pay, That s like animals you have 2 male dogs and you get a female even if she is spade they will fight and try to to bite each others testicles out. That is just a man that is all they worry about is sex. You can never have a real close friend of the opposite sex, would be okay with if your husband had a real close relationship with another woman, just asking. Would it really be okay.with you.
2007-10-08 13:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to your own question - 1. because that is exactly the kind of relationship you have with your contact. The problem you have is reassuring your husband that you are faithful - that's something only you and your husband can resolve.
I'd say the same issue might arise if you were a jealous wife who could not trust a husband's secretary to keep her hands off & vice versa. You'll find that most people do not restrict their daily interactions with people of the same gender - unless you are living in Saudi and feel that you do not have enough male relatives to enable you to be chaperoned at appropriate times.
2007-10-08 13:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is in a relationship... then you've got the perfect double date if your husband is willing. The best thing to do it get involved as a couple. Married people need married friends. You don't, however, need to hang out with him on the side and definitely don't hide any conversations or contact from your husband. Your marriage is worth more than a long lost friendship (i would hope). Rough... because you might have more longevity with the "friend".
2007-10-08 13:14:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i believe it is possible as long as you both know the rules going into the friendship.my husband and i have been married for 10 years and my best friend is a male. we have been friends since high school as well, and we have never crossed the line no matter what was happening in either of our relationships.
just set some ground rules and stick to them.
2007-10-08 13:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by icantfindout 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's possible to have an opposite-sex friend, and you're not being "selfish". However, you have to take your husband's feelings into consideration, and if the peace in the family is important to you, you should stick to the same-sex friendships. No point in creating a rift in your relationship just to prove you're right.
2007-10-08 13:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband may have faith in you but not knowing this guy, he may feel that the guy wants more than friendship from you, and perhaps the guy is having problems in his relationship you are not aware of and does want to make a switch. You can hang out with the guy but make sure that your husband is there as well - think of Demi Moore, her husband whose name I can't recall, and Bruce Willis, to use some names you should know - where Bruce and the husband have become very good friends.
2007-10-08 13:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, I think its more than possible. Ever since high school, I have had more guy friends than chick friends, only because I feel I can relate more to guys than chicks. I'm still adding to my guy friends list even now & my husband is so kewl with it. He has even met a couple of 'em.
2007-10-08 15:12:57 · answer #8 · answered by BB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is possible. Your hubby is being narrow minded.
I use to have a male friend whom I dated when neither of us were in relationships. After we both married other people the four of us use to hang out.
2007-10-08 13:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its possible, I have tons of guy friends. None of which I would sleep with. Actually shuddering at the thought and vomiting a little in my mouth....lol. I like as friends, but COULD NOT imagine getting intimate with them. yuck.
But this just shows you the mentality of your man....what he's really saying is all guys are alike and if given the chance they'd bone any girl. Well this is a negative in two ways...first he doesn't trust you and secondly he'd stick HIS dick into any of his female companions if given the chance. So now who can't be trusted.
2007-10-08 13:15:24 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋