He's got this twisted view on what depression is.... he thinks it just temporary sadness or stress.... I have been depressed for a long time and I've been in counseling so many times and all these times he didnt even know for what... so we got into this huge arguement last night and I tried to explain what it was and he claimed that I wasnt depressed and him feeling like that made me want to cut myself again... he makes me feel so horrible about myself, he thinks taking care of our child and doing some chores around the house is supposed to help my depression but I kept trying to explain to him that the house could be totally perfect and i will still be depressed, can someone help me help him understand what it means to be depressed? I tried showing him some websites but he has too much pride because in his thick skull he thinks he understands it and doesnt need textbook to educate him. Please help me
2007-10-08 05:42:27 · 27 answers · asked by Betrayed and Insane 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd have to say, one of the hardest things about depression is dealing with the inability of others around you to understand. I wish they would have come up with a word other than depression for the affliction because the word "depression" makes everyone think they can "relate" since everyone's been "blue" before. What they don't get is it's nothing like normal human situational sadness. It's a debilitating emptiness and inescapable depth which affects you on an almost physical level that you can't know unless it affects you.
I feel for you. I know that doesn't help much but know that you're not the only one.
2007-10-08 05:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I have been suffering from post partum depression for the past one year when I gave birth to a baby boy. I couldn't stop thinking about how my husband loves him more than me and how things might be better if he wasn't born at all. Thus, I stayed away from him because I knew that I might do something I will regret for the rest of my life.
Almost instantly I went to a therapist and convince them that I need help. Among other things, I've tried herbal supplements and other book to treat depression but nothing works like the Depression Free Method. So now I'm proud to say I'm one of the happiest mother in the world. My husband loves us both very much and I thank the Lord for the blessing he gave us.
Depression Free Method?
2016-05-16 21:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is the wrong person to have as a mate when you have the problems with depression so you may never be able to explain it to him. Try getting a physical examination to see if there is a physical and not mental reason for that and you might also go to a good health food store and see what they may recommend for you to help you with that I will add a link to Lef.org you can look over as well. If there is a physical reason for your depression counseling may not help - just as a medical doctor may be no good when the problem is emotional.
lef oftentimes has things that are not yet accepted by the doctors of today but they have been around for some 27 years and they were the first in some areas to find solutions to problems that otherwise would not be found so you may get some help there. I hope you get past this and are able to get help with this problem.
2007-10-08 06:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fortunately for me, I have weeks to months-long depressive episodes that come and go, sometimes requiring medication, but it's not constant. My wife knew I had been hospitalized for depression once before she married me. Now, even after 21 years, she still doesn't fully understand my depression. At least she's pretty nice about it, though -- the way your husband is treating you makes me angry.
Tell him that the kind of depression you have is a serious and chronic condition, like cancer. Tell him it has real physiological origins within the brain's neurotransmitters, and that it is therefore not something that you can turn off any more than you could cure your own cancer if you had that. Finally, tell him that you're sad for him that he feels so powerless over this destructive force in your life, but that you will always stand ready to try to support him when he worries about you.
Later edit: I think your husband might kind of be like free_angel above, who said, "Your problems run deeper than just being depressed." There is no such thing as JUST being depressed, exactly like there is no such thing as just having cancer. Sometimes, I can't decide whether people who have never had our kind of depression simply don't understand it or if they don't WANT to understand it. It's like trying to explain colors to a man who was born blind!
2007-10-08 06:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to keep going to talk to someone if it helps you. too bad he can not see things the same way you do. i get depressed each day and even my husband says all i have to do is clean the house or go for a walk and all the things for that day will not be so bad. i do take Zoloft and sometimes it helps and others it does not. please do not hurt yourself. you are a special person too bad he doesn't see it that way he needs to go and talk to someone too, it takes both but if he wont go than maybe you need to leave him for a short time and go stay with family or somewhere Else's so you can take care of yourself .by showing him those websites he should read some of them and at least. maybe he feels he cant help you so he may be afraid but you need someone on your side to help you. please let this website of yahoo answers know how you are in a few days.
2007-10-08 05:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Greetings,
It so very uncommon to know,that you want help so that your husband may know that you are depressed,But instead you should ask God,not only to make your husband understanding ,but to take away the depression from you.
For we are so very free, as free as a bird,through the blood Jesus Christ our Lord,That he shed by letting himself be nailed on the cross to give us everlasting life.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world,That he gave his only son,for the sake of us,so that whoever believes in him might be free from sin and have everlasting life."
Peace Be With you.
Talk to Jesus,Pray to him about your Problems, For everything is possible with God,not men. Build a relationship with God and encourage your family in knowing and loving Jesus. For the Time is almost at the end, Repent for your sins.Encourage all your family and friends, and store up treasures in heaven,where a soul will spend its eternal life.
Read and love the Word of God, and Obey the Precious Word(The Bible). Reflect the passage you have read upon your life.
2007-10-08 06:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Nick Carter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should invite him to one of your counseling sessions.
I recently had a discussion with my bf concerning my depression and anxiety. I didn't think he would understand either, but he had some interesting views. He doesn't really look it at as a disease even though he acknowledges there are effects (he is an EMT).
Either way, your husband should support you and not make it worse. Definitely get him into counseling so he can learn how to help you.
2007-10-08 05:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by trysh_mc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My prayers are with you, I was at one time too depressed, I too thought it was someone who weeped and cryed and slept all day, but I was just the oposite! I told my X that I think there something wrong with me because I wasn't myself, I had no desire to talk to anyone, I never wanted to leave the house and I had a hard time sleeping, she just ignored me. She ended up leaving me because of it. I snapped out of it on my own, I think what it was, was her leaving because I got really optomistic, I felt I hit rock botton and there was no way but up. Ever sense then things have been going pretty great for me. I hope you fix yoru dilema soon! I would just keep pounding the idea into his head, point out, hey was I always like this, don't you think something is wrong?
2007-10-08 05:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by Zenkai 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are really miserable. First I would figure out why I am so depressed and get rid of what ever it is that is depressing me. Just eliminate it from your life. If you can't make your husband understand then he must not love you very much to not be there for you in your time of need. Maybe you should get rid of him. I would continue to seek counsel on the matter.
I have never been depressed so I probably don't understand it either, but I do know I would try to figure out what has me so sad and either fix it or get rid of it. I just hope it isn't the kids? If it is maybe you need to leave. Hope you figure it out.
2007-10-08 05:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by Tammy K 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First, ask him why he feels like his point of view is the right one. Ask what he thinks could be a solution. Make him feel like you want to hear his opinion. If he feels like you want to hear his side, he might be open more towards yours. If he still doesn't listen, then perhaps you two need a little bit of a break. You don't need to be treated as if your feelings don't matter, much less don't exist.
2007-10-08 06:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋