She was my whole life?

Question

She cheated and all she could say was " you treated me good" and that was the end of the conversation. She was my best friend...every breath I took. I still love her with all my heart to the point I dream of her with her arms around me and telling me that she loves me. I've tried everything I can to get past this and nothing helps. It's been 4 years. I won't even have a relationship with another because the trust issue is right on the top of the list. Can't seem to even give a lady a chance. I think about her every day. Sure do wish someone could help me get past this. I ended up in the hospital for a while after it ended because I completely feel apart physically. For 6 months I slept on the sofa because trying to sleep in a bed just reminded me that I was alone and she wasn't there.

Answer 1

Dear Rick, I feel for you, I really do. Your pain practically leaps off the screen through your words.

Are you in counselling right now? If not, please pursue it and do it until you find a counsellor that you click with. Don't give up the first time because you have a counsellor that doesn't work for you.

Second, you might want to consider taking this time to explore your spirituality. I don't know if you are religious or not, but spirituality has very little to do with religion, I've found.

I would like to suggest a couple of inspirational authors who have really changed my whole perspective on life for the better.

1. Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series.

2. Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of several books, but you might want to start with Inspiration, The Power of Intention and Being in Balance. All amazing books.

There are many more authors as well, but start with these two. Particulary Wayne Dyer. They both propose living a life based on love, rather than fear. The ideas are liberating for those of us who have been otherwise convinced by general society that life is to be lived fearfully. I've learned that this is not the case at all, and, despite what is going on around us, we can live with joy.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

Rick the only way to move on is to better yourself. You must be pyshically and mentally better than you where when you where with her. You know look better, dress better, instead of a 20$ haircut get a 50$ haircut, work out, try to eat right and if u go to school or work try to better yourself in that field, and you must be more confident, talk to more girl even if your walking to the store or work, if I was you you should talk to more girls, in the streets, store,anywhere basically. Learn how to talk, it will build your confidence and game and soon you'll be a different man.

When it comes to Love it really can effect you mentally, and after it effects you mentally it will effect you physically, it happens, but u can't let it do that anymore.

The reason why I told u to do the haircut thing, or work out, ect ect is bc if u atleast try to better yourself you'll feel better and once you'll feel better you'll look better. Take the last experience with that girl and make good out of it, learn and grow from it, but don't let it destroy.

You don't want her to have gotten the best of you

Answer 3

i know just how u feel, but life is short, and everyone needs someone to share their life with, so do give others a chance, don't judge all by your ex. just look at what this has done to u, and i know it hurts alot, but its how u handle the hurt that is going to determine your future. so she said u treated her good, well its got nothing to do with u, or anything u did or said, its about her and whats inside of her that caused this. go to some self help therapy group, where u will meet others who are grieving, they will be your support system and they will help u see reality and get u past this. u will always love her but in reality we are all responsible for our own happiness in life and it seems your ego is shot, and u have no hope anymore in anything, when u feel this way only one thing is going to help, that would be god.

Answer 4

You sound like a good guy, and you are tearing yourself apart over someone who doesnt deserve your love. She was unfaithful in your relationship, please try to recognize her faults. You have mourned 6 months---that is long enough---she will not be back and do you really want someone who will cheat?

Make yourself, if you have to, get your mind on something else---replace thoughts of her with good, positive thoughts--you may have to work at it, but try! going out in groups might be a good idea---group from work, church, single groups---sign up for seminars/classes to explore new interests.

Yes, I have been in your place---I am now happily married, but a love 4 years ago almost killed me, but I stayed away from him---I could not look at another for 1 1/2 years, but , finally I moved on and found my husband---you will find someone too and you will soon forget the ex you are mourning now. God bless.

Answer 5

You became one flesh with your wife when you married her. Now half of you is missing. But when she defiled your marriage bed, you are no longer the other half of her. You are grieving.

When you decide to date again, date for a long, long time. Ask a lot of questions before you decide to commit again. Don't judge everyone by your X wife's bad behavior.
There are many, many good and faithful women on the planet. Just don't be in a rush to hook up again. Take your time. You can love again, for love is a choice.

Answer 6

If I were you I'd get some counseling because to continue to love a person for 4 years after they betrayed you and hurt you....is not healthy.

You need some professional help.....and I'm not saying that to be funny.....you sound like you're in a depression.

Answer 7

OK, you need to get some counseling. Why are you letting a cheating **** control your life?

She was not a good person. She was horrible to you.

Don't you think that you deserve better? You have no self esteem.

There are many mental health programs to help you.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are depressed and need some therapy. Go see a doctor and a therapist. If this girl/woman is around see if talking with her a little more helps.

Answer 9

i in my view basically use elementary elementary math (addition , multiplying, and so on) in on a daily basis existence...i do no longer think of i've got ever needed to correctly known a thank you to be certain the sin or cosine of something in my existence different than math type lolz...

Answer 10

Wow, some woman she was...Learn to cope and get past this woman or try to get back together with her. If not you will be a depressed person your whole life.