How do you ease the pain? Breaking up 5 months ago and still hearing how much of a cheat your mate was?

Question

How do I move on without anger and baggage?

Answer 1

i would try to find as much support as you can form family and friends i know they will bad mouth him but sometimes it helps get some feelings out and you can respond with your own feelings, and keep a juornal.
i had a very ruff time after my brake up but i just kept myself busy with friends and family and i joined some goups and took up a cooking class. i stayed single for 5 yrs and worked on my selfesteem and worked out hard for myself. now i am married to a great guy and my ex drops his jaw everytime he sees me. let me tell you working out was my best way to get rid of my anger and baggage, and now i have sweet revenge when he sees me.

Answer 2

When you realize that a person that you loved and respected and had believed felt the same way disrespects you by cheating on you it can hurt for a long time, even when they are not even there anymore. Your mate showed you that respect was not a part of your relationship and that the two of you were not going by the same rules. Every time that you rehear about it or hear about more it reminds you of how much you were disrespected and it probably pisses you off as much as it hurts. Time hopefully heals all wounds but the help you can give to time is letting it go and moving on with your bad self. Treat yourself kind and gentle and know that feelings are just feelings, they are not good or bad. Actions are what counts, his (I assumed there) sucked, so does he (still assuming its a he, sorry if its not).

Answer 3

I was once in the same situation. An ex-boyfriend really had a field day behind my back and for awhile afterwards, I had people coming up to me saying "I'm sorry I never told you, but I saw so-and-so kissing some girl at the bar"...it's like you have a scab that gets picked over and over again. But you know what? You're the bigger person, and he will, if not already, look like the idiot for doing this to you. Be in tune with yourself and tell yourself, I do not need that in my life, I am better than him, I am better off for it, and it will not happen to me again. Pamper yourself, enjoy family, friends, hobbies and someday you'll meet someone special. Just keep in mind at all times, you did not lose, he did. Best wishes.

Answer 4

You need to fill your life with good people and things that you like to do. If you are still hurting this bad after 5 months, it shows that you revolved your life around the relationship.

You should try some counseling. You need to make a list of 10 things that you want to do. Do one thing a week. Call your friends and make plans for every weekend.

Good luck, do some nice things for yourself. You deserve so much better. Let the loser have someone else!

Answer 5

get a piece of paper, divide it into 2 columns, and on one side list the good things about the guy and the bad things on the other side, and then look at it whenever you think about the guy. sometimes looking back objectively, you will see things now that you didn't see then that will make you glad it ended when it did. Tell yourself there is someone out there better for you somewhere and then start to make new friends so that you will meet him soon than later.

Answer 6

The pain should be gone, there should be residual anger because he was a jerk to you, and a sense of relief that you are out of that situation and better off now.

Don't carry that baggage with you. Don't punish future guys you date, because someone in the past was a creep. Give each person the benefit of the doubt, and let them show you who they are.

Learn the lessons from the relationships you've had, and any signs or red flags to watch for...but don't be paranoid or expect to get hurt or betrayed. Move forward positively, armed with experience and knowledge, and have fun! ☺

Answer 7

The first thing you need to recognize is that's we cant change people places or things only ourselves, so his cheating has nothing to do with you. Mourning a relationship takes time,so be kind to yourself and take the time you need. let your friends know that it is a hard thing for you to hear about your past guy, and please leave the comments to themselves. The more you start loving yourself again the less he will matter.

Answer 8

I don't think you ever truly get over it. Use this experience to protect yourself to not let it happen again. That's the painful part about love, it doesn't always work out and it can be hard when it doesn't. Be thankful you are rid of them and move on and find someone whom you can spend your life with. The best part of all is truly moving on when you are with someone that you truly love and respect. The other stuff eventually fades away.

Answer 9

When they start to tell you things tell them you are no longer interested in hearing about the crap. Why didn't they tell you all this before? You ease the pain by thinking thank God you are no longer with the jerk.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It takes time and I know that hearing more info is just causing the knife to dig deeper. Just thank God that do not have to deal with him anymore and pray for the strength to move on. Don't hold on to that anger and resentment..it will just wear you down...take your aggression out with a good workout..you will feel and look better!! GOOD LUCK!!