My husband and I have been married for almost a year. And he has a past of cheating. Things seem to be going good for the past year, and now all of a sudden its been almost 2 months since we have had sex, and now hes been going to work 2 hours earlier. Which he just started a new position and he says he just needs to get ahead so they dont think hes slacking. There is some girl at work that I think he has been getting close too. Hes always talking about her. If he cheated before but seemed to be doing better, should i give him the benefit of the doubt before confronting him and causing no needed drama in our life. I had our first child last Dec. and thats when things seemed to get better. Now I am pregnant with our second child which is due in Jan. Am I just getting overly worried....(oh by the way he is always making comments like when i get my new bike Im taking melissa on a ride) which is the girl that i think hes getting close to. Please honest opinions and dont be stupid!
2007-10-08 05:14:45 · 14 answers · asked by crazyworld 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You must talk to him about this. Don't let it fester.
Try not to do it in an accusing way because you want to open communication not start a fight or drive him away.
Sit down and just tell him that you're worried about these things and that you and your baby need to know that you can count on his love and loyalty.
Hopefully you'll find that he's just tired and being insensitive and not cheating.
Good luck
2007-10-08 05:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's inappropriate behaviour on his part. He sounds like the emotional drifter type who has Peter Pan syndrome and doesn't want to grow up and be responsible. He probably sees a bike and a single woman as escape from the drudgery of being a father and provider. You should remind him that he will be a provider for life whether the two of you are together or not because you have his children. What you could do to scare him is look for a copy of your state's child support legislation and how the court's collect (wage garnishing, etc.) and what the punishments are for not paying up (confiscating driver's license, etc.). Leave this out where he will find it. If he asks about it, tell him that you are considering your options for the sake of your children's future in case he ever decides to ride off with Melissa (or anyone else) and doesn't come back.
2007-10-08 05:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by scarletxvi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him in a non-confrontational way - if he gets defensive, that might be another indication that you are right on the money. If there's nothing going on, then he should have no reason to over-react.
BTW, even if there's nothing going on now, he should still be made aware of your feelings about him getting so close to this Melissa... those that cheat tend to have a lot of grey when it comes to what's appropriate and what's not. Spell it out for him and the fact that it bothers you should be enough for him to curtail the relationship he already has with her.
Even if it's not a physical thing yet, it seems like emotional cheating and to me that is just as painful.
2007-10-08 05:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are pregnant. You are having second baby within 1 year. He started a new job. You are married almost 1 year. His wife is nagging him.
Wow, I would say that there is a lot of stress in your relationship.
You need to read 2 books:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
The Surrendered Wife
If you continue to let this consume you, you will push him away. Do not nag, complain or whine.
When he gets home today, look your best, great him with a kiss and a smile. Let him have some downtime. In 2 hours approach him, hug him and kindly tell him that you miss him.
Do not say anything else.
Good Luck!
2007-10-08 05:37:37 · answer #4 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you are not overly worried. sounds like if he's not already cheating on you, he at least has an emotional relationship with this woman.
i would divorce him. he doesnt even care enough to try to be discreet; no sex, talking about her all the time, making excuses about going to work early, etc
i would also drop a couple hundred on a private investigator so you can have evidence. that way you get the kids, the alimony, and the child support money
2007-10-08 05:24:52 · answer #5 · answered by j dddddd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that if my husband made a comment about taking another woman for a ride on his new bike i would lose it. My husband just got a new bike and u bet he will not be taking other woman for rides unless i know them and deem them safe. He wouldn't even dream of making a comment like that. So maybe you just need to stop by his work one morning and see whats going on. Take something with you as a treat for him. That way if he really is working you can just say that you thought it would be nice to bring him something at work.
2007-10-08 05:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by Dani-Lou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, is not like you didn't know what you were getting into. If you think the cheating has stop just because you married him, think again. You now have to live with what you got.
2007-10-08 05:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would do a little bit more investigating before you confront him. i would suggest calling him at the office one morning when he is supposed to be at work. or stop by the office to see him one of these mornings. i don't know why a married man would want to take any woman besides his wife for a ride on a new bike.
2007-10-08 05:20:56 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you ask him, you aren't accusing him, you are just asking. And he should be fine with that, you have the right to ask if you think there could be a possibility.
You also have the right to tell him you are uncomfortable with the relationship he has developed with this other woman.
Communication is always key, when communication breaks down so do relationships.
Good Luck :)
2007-10-08 05:20:27 · answer #9 · answered by snocy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to give you my opinion. but your husband sounds like a first class JERK.
Use you own judgment and go with your feelings.
You have two children that deserve a happy life.
2007-10-08 05:26:49 · answer #10 · answered by Fred F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋