hi: my husband and i are going on a marriage retreat this weekend and i was wondering if given the chance what would u want from this experience???? I know i want him to be more of a father to our children then a playmate and to help out a little more around the house and be there for me when i have had a stressful day... but i want to know what would u want to get out of a marriage retreat and would u go on one??? thank u so much for the answers and have a good week and god bless all of you...
2007-10-08 04:01:07 · 18 answers · asked by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would LOVE to go on one. We've had several through our church but my husband won't go. As it is, he is a CEO attender of our church...(Christmas, Easter & on Occasion). I have heard so much good that comes out of these retreats so I'm happy for you.
If we were to go on one. I would hope he would learn to communicate better, help around the house and be sensitive to my feelings.
2007-10-09 03:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been on one about 2 years ago. At that point we were having alot of problems. He realized during that weekend that I was fed up with everything and it was a type of retreat where you wrote down all your thoughts and voiced your opionion with out having to be interrupted and then they read it. It was good to "vent" that way. I recommend it to those who are wanting to work at their marriage... but you have to continue to communicate and that gets hard in every day life. I would want to have more "answers" from the retreat than what I got.... but it was still a good experience. Good luck.
2007-10-08 11:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a time to realize that both of you may need to make some changes and realize that each of you are carrying a heavy load. A marriage retreat is not a weekend cure for the other person, it is a time for both to get away and reflect to get back on the same page. Best of luck.
2007-10-08 11:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the things you want aren't going to be accomplished in a weekend retreat. Chances are, you're not communicating effectively with each other & counseling can help.
From a weekend retreat, the only thing I'd want is just time alone together so we can enjoy each other.
2007-10-08 11:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short and to the point.Just be honest with him and ask him to be totally honest with you.It doesn't take a retreat to improve your communication skills.Just take some time together.Just you and him.go out to eat or stay in and cook something together.Anything you want to do is fine as long as you have some time to talk together about your relationship.Ask him to be totally honest with you.And you make a point to be totally honest with him.Get it out in the open.No one can fix a problem if they don't even know there is one.If he loves you.He will be glad to talk to you and help you feel more at ease.If he doesn't he will not care and avoid it all costs.It sounds like he must love you in every way or he would have never agreed to go on a retreat with you in the first place.Never underestimate another person feelings unless you ask them.Guesses and Assumptions can be lethal to a relationship.Take my word for it .He does love you and he will help to resolve these issues if you ask.I am sure of this from your explanation of him.Good Luck and God Bless.
Sorry it wasnt as short as I had originally planned......lol..
2007-10-08 11:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by TBONE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is different but really it sounds to me like you have a pretty nice guy that enjoys goofing around with his kids. It sounds to me like you would like a little more attention from him. I think a retreat is nice but really if you cannot express to your husband that you need some attention too then what good is a retreat going to help. Maybe you need to tell him that it is fine that he plays with his kids but when it comes to discipline that he needs to work with you and you guys need to works as a team tell him that you cannot handle being the mean parent all the time and when he doesn't agree with you it undermines your abilities of being a good parent. It sounds to me like you guys need
a parenting workshop not a couples retreat. I hope some of this helps. God Bless and Best Wishes.
2007-10-08 11:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going on a retreat is a lovely thing. Unfortunately it isn't a good time to bring up things you want him to do. He may resent you for it. He may get upset, or he may think if you want him to do things in the future. You'll have to do something for him. I would just go and have a wonderful time. Spend time strengthening your relationship and the love you have for each other. Then after the weekend is over, talk to him about your concerns. It will be a lot easier and less awkward. Have fun and relax and enjoy yourself.
2007-10-08 11:09:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would want to learn how to effectively communicate... with effective communication, the other issues can be resolved. Everyone hears differently so that's an area I would want to learn - how to help him hear me.
It's kinda like the whole - give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime... I wouldn't focus on specific issues because that doesn't solve the underlying issue.
I'd also want to learn how he shows love - being a playmate with your children might be a way he expresses his love for you and if you go into this with an open mind, you may learn to respect and appreciate him so much more.
Don't look to solve specifics - look at the big picture and focus on connecting with each other.
That's what changed our relationship and I wish you both luck!
2007-10-08 11:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No disrespect, but if I were your husband I'd want you have a little more respect for me. You say in your question that you want him to be more of a "father" and less of a playmate... You better wake up and smell the coffee, you have a man who loves your children!
You really should count your blessings before offering me any. So many children suffer awful abuse and abandonment, yours are really lucky to have a daddy. Now if their mommy would just lighten up, they might have a shot at growing up in a stable family.
2007-10-08 11:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Big C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I can actually say that I don't think I would need to go on a retreat with my fiance b/c he does everything at the house before I get home from work and takes care of my child ( previous marriage) as his own and is always there for me when I have had a stressful day as I am there for him... ( it has taken me a long time to be able to find a man like the one I have now)
2007-10-08 11:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋