Can you write a limerick to order?

Question

I challenge you not just to create a limerick, but to write it specifically about any one of the following individuals/topics:

1- Hillary Clinton

2- What's in your purse/wallet right now.

3- Another person on YA (in fun only. Please be humane or your answer will be deleted. If you feel nasty, take the first topic..heh)

4- A typical family get together at your house.

To Bill:
Numbsain and Beans do agree,
It should be plain for all people to see,
That the cutest of all
The smart, strong, and tall
Is yours truly y'all
so their avatars stare up at me.

But in the same vein it is true
that others do not share this view
yet, know it's no trick
nor comedic shtick!
Yes guinness's pic
Is staring in disdain at you!


Good lord people...could all but one of you rewrite your answers so that they suck and give me an easy decision for once? I'm holding it open a bit longer to see if Beans has an answer for #4 (though it's certainly not required) This is without a doubt the toughest decision I've had to make to date.....
Great job everyone!

Answer 1

HILLARY CLINTON'S THE PREZ!
Headlines for the paper says.
Her first promised act
Will be to keep track
Of where Bill and his “IS” is.

*********************************

Guinness, I thought you were nice.
All sugar and full of spice.
But, after your odes
You’re plainly exposed
And, I admit I looked …twice!

***************************

When Beans4Brains gives you "the eye"
On instinct you turn to the sky
And, into the night
You try with your might
To figure out what the heck she (and Numbsain) are looking at! (I still don't see anything up there.)

*************************

Cheese is one cheeky geezer.
He's fun, sneaky, a teaser.
Though he is confused,
And mildly bemused
He's none freakier than me, sir.

*****************************
Thundering plunderers gallop
T'ward you while waving a mallet.
With fire in their eyes
They shriek their fierce cries,
"Aye, maggot, what's in your wallet?!"

I, ...I forget, ...s-s-s-sir. But, ...I'm s-s-sure it's k-k-kinda ...w-wet n-n-n-now. D-do you s-s-still want it? Though, b-b-b-by the looks ...of y-you, ...I d-d-don't think you'll really m-mind.

*************************************

Scene From a Recent Family Party

Flicker of light on the floor.
Skittering pups crash the door.
A little boy laughs
And holds a new flash-
Light he got at the store.

Answer 2

While playing a game of badminton
from the sun in his eyes Bill was squintin'
when he flipped the birdie
he said to Lewinski
"Oops I thought you were Hillary Clinton"

As I passed two young ladies indulging
I heard one to the other divulging
that she noticed my pants
and could tell at a glance
it was only my wallet a-bulgin'

There was a YAer named Cheese
at whose question were nothing to sneeze
but a challenge I relish
and although they are hellish
I've decided to answer all these

On a typical day at the Sains
one will hear, as this limerick explains
such a horrible fight
lasting into the night
or at least till a neighbor complains

There was an attorney named guinness
Who would do well to mind her own bid'ness
as the judgement is clear
lest I fail to appear
sorry babe, you just ain't gonna win this!

Just kidding dahling, I love you madly.

Answer 3

Edward Lear was the master of course, but the last line always repeated in some way the first line (which used to irritate me as a child...) But some modern limericks are very rude! Here's a sample Edward Lear's classics: There was an old person of Fife, Who was greatly disgusted with life; They sang him a ballad, And fed him on salad, Which cured that old person of Fife. There was an old man in a Marsh, Whose manners were futile and harsh; He sate on a log, And sang songs to a frog, That instructive old man in a Marsh. There was an old man in a barge, Whose nose was exceedingly large; But in fishing by night, It supported a light, Which helped that old man in a barge. Edit I thought I'd better write my own: A young man once took on a dare To try a French kiss with a bear. The bear took a fright and threatened to bite As our lad peed his pants in despair.

Answer 4

There once was a dude called numbsain?
who was always displaying his brain
He turned and was squintin'
up the skirt of Ms. Clinton
and said "well I'm not one to complain...".

ew.

Uhm.

We sat 'round the table again
and poked at our cornish game hen
when the dog cut the cheese
and my father yelled GEEZ
would you put that mutt back in his pen!

I once read the writings of Bill
whose avatar gave Cheese a chill
Bill looked so right wing
was Rush Limbaugh his "thing?"
Perhaps he's just over the hill.

[no!]

I can't think of too much that is worse
Than an oversized, overstuffed purse
condoms, makeup and stuff
finding keys can be rough
First you fish, then you dig, then you curse.

Answer 5

*edit* *grins* yes i can......

1. Hillary Clinton
There once was a trite media who*re,
who's political career was a bore;
She blackmailed her spouse,
then the Senate and House,
so they reluctantly gave her the floor*.

(*as in a debate ☺)

2. What's in your purse/wallet right now :

In a bag on the end of a chair,
is a wallet with nothing but air,
a phone, keys and some gum,
a small bottle of rum...
Bugger me! How'd THAT get in there?

3. Another person on YA:
(*thinks* hmmmmm IDK......)

There was a skinhead named Charlie,
who thought his opinions were gnarly;
Every one was offended,
so his account got suspened,
and now he feels salty and sorry.

4. A typical family get together at your house.
*thinking*..............

Dad, sister, myself and my brother,
spend some time with each other;
We're fine for an hour,
until it goes sour,
then we all have to answer to mother.

♥ LOL. I ♥ limericks!!!

*edit*.... oh wow_bill, lol i'm not sure what i'm looking at either.
LOL... i think i'm just gazing towards heaven. :) ♥

Answer 6

To spend time and have some fun
I searched my purse for some mon.
A hanky in case I would sneeze.
Now I know where I lost my keys.
And a thing not for men but women.

Answer 7

At my house, there was a mouse,
But he couldn't get no CHEESE.
Cause in my WALLET, there was naught,
Coins, and bills,oh please.
With HILLARY on the hill, sippin champagne,
Waitin for the boys to run their champagne,
My FAMILY's late, so I am on the go,
Writing fine limericks like these!!!

Touche

Answer 8

There once was a man called Slick Willy
Who got caught with his **** in the tilley

He hemmed and he hawed, he sidestepped and parried
As circumstance had it, ...the poor man was married!

His poor little wife thought "What should I do?"
"Should I forgive him?..........she hadn't a clue.


She swallowed her pride and stuck by her man,
What we all didn't know was that she had a plan!


It's funny that he was the one called Slick Willy,
Shouldn't that moniker belong to Miss Hilly??

Answer 9

Take a look at Cheese and regard him well.
Once, he looked like heaven, but now it's hell.
Not calcium deficiency, but not eating right.
Has left him a skeleton, with no flesh in sight.
Look at his face if you can stand the view.
Eat some real food or this happens to you.

(Seriously, dude, get a burger!)
C. :)!!

Answer 10

There once was a bad boi named Cheese
He used words any way that he please
On Y/A he would go
Throwing around words just for show
Bringing us all to our knees.