why the cats and not me?

Question

yes another complaint about my husband. he will sit and talk to the cats and pet and spend time with them but when ever i want to talk he has to run off somewhere. yes i have told him this bothers me.

i am not a nag. when i want to talk it's not about serious things just everyday chatter. football game, religion, weather music, anything.

Answer 1

Cats don't talk back.

Answer 2

What do you want to talk about when you approach your husband for a conversation? If he "high tails" it out of there whenever you want to talk, it sounds like he doesn't want to hear you complaining, or nagging.

Talking to cats, or even LIKING cats, isn't a common trait in men. Sounds to me like your husband is extremely sensitive, and probably gets his feelings hurt pretty easily [just a thought].

I told someone else this before... and only just recently learned this myself. Try starting the conversation with "I", instead of "you". Don't say "you always talk and pay more attention to the cats than you do to me!" First of all, it automatically raises his defenses, which would cause him to leave the room, because he wants to avoid a fight.

Consider instead, that talking to the cats and playing with them isn't exactly what's bothering you, instead, it's the fact that he "runs" when you start a conversation. So, I wouldn't bring that fact up anymore. If you want to start a conversation with him, try "I feel like we've been totally out of touch with each other, and I miss you... how was your day?"

It takes out all the offense, which gives him nothing to run away from, and it's starts a conversation in which he can easily respond.

I said this before, too... men are typical problem solvers, if you let your defenses down, the other way of starting a conversation, gives him [sort of] a problem to solve, and allows you to have a non-defensive conversation between the two of you.

Answer 3

I apologize for not being able to say why he does it, but I do have a suggestion for how to fix it. Some people are extremely tactile, but don't know this about themselves. I've talked to a few people about this, and the strangest thing made a difference: an enormous couch.

For some reason, couples forget after a while that physical contact outside of sexual interaction or temporary hugs is profoundly important. Cats are very comfortable with sharing space and physical closeness without making a big deal out of it. If you obtain a very large couch and make a point for a while of sitting on it together, stretching out and being physically close to each other, you may find that he shares with you the closeness and comfortability with physical interaction that he feels with the cats.

Answer 4

My husband says the same about me and my dog!.
Try to "catch" him when he´s right there talking with his cats,,
One thing I learned in 20 years I´ve been married is that men avoid complains. Try not, i know sometimes it´s impossible, it´s a bad habit, usual,,,etc. And men hate that in women. Now if I have something to complain better shut up and try to fix things by my self quietly. I'll keep my bad thougths to myself and it works!,,,He´s open to talk to me in a good mood always!....

Answer 5

you said """"yes another complaint about my husband""""" do you complain & gripe to him all the time ? Sounds like you do,,remember the cats show love without complaints. Be the kitty cat, not the barking dog,,,,

Answer 6

Are you jealous of the cats?
And by the comment, "yes another complaint about my husband", I'd imagine that you b!tch and moan a lot. That there should answer your question.

Answer 7

Try being as kind to him as the cats are. Seems to work for them... :-)

Answer 8

Do you nag him, are you almost always negative, and do you make mountains out of mole hills?

Answer 9

Try to explain it but, didn't go through.e-mail me.

Answer 10

Time to sharpen your claws.