feeling guilty?

Question

im 6 mos.pregant and just got fired from my job(downsizing). i also was responsible for me and the babies health coverage. the only way me and my husband would be able to afford our baby is if we were both workin.he told me not to worry about it,but i still feel really bad.how do i stop myself from feeling guilty

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear you lost your job but please don't feel guilty. Perhaps you and your husband should sit down one night and look at your finances and put everything on paper.

Also, your husband needs to step up to his responsibility as husband and either aggressively search for a good job with a FAMILY health care plan, or he needs to take a 2nd job or work a little overtime so you can put aside extra cash for health care expenses. A man TAKES CARE OF women and children - he does not leave this responsibility up to them. That includes their health care.

So.....there's a good chance you will not have to work to "afford" the baby, especially if you breastfeed and do shopping at yard sales and consigment/thrift stores.

Keep in mind that with you working there will be major expenses like (1) Day Care (the really good ones are expensive) (2) gas/fuel and maintenance on your car (3) Lunches/food for you at work

Work up a budget. Cut out unecessary expenses. For example, what's more important - diapers or cable TV? cash for well baby check-ups or an expensive cell phone plan?

There are so many little ways to cut corners and "make room" for a baby in your budget. They cost money, but not as much as people make out.

I hope you will be able to stay at home full time with your precious little one. The rewards are endless and your baby will be so thankful when he/she looks back and remembers you were always there.

God bless and congratulations to you and your husband!

Answer 2

do what you can to make life stress free on all 3 of you so that baby is most safe and secure and be frugal with what money you do have and if you have no insurance now get what help you need from the state so that the baby has the best health available for you.

I had all 3 of my babies (15years, 13years, and 14months) at home so a lot of costs that hospitals charge were gone. My first two were totally out of pocket we owned our own business at the time with no insurance and the third had private insurance.

My husband and I decided together that I would stay home with baby until preschool age or I get my business back up so that she can be with me (not a daycare fan, I figure no one other than my husband, my dad, and her siblings, has her best interest at heart like I do), thus we have had to learn to cut back and watch our frivolity of finances, neither of us are the greatest with being frugal but we are trying, :) .

The best thing though is to not stress for the babies sake, she or he needs a calm, happy, and loving mommy to keep healthy and strong. Our feelings, thoughts, and actions affect baby very, very much.

Good luck and have fun with baby............they are filled with most of life's joys so live in the moment as much as you can, each baby is its own miracle.......S

I wanted to add that if you got fired or laid off for downsizing reasons you should apply for unemployment right away, even if you were only fired for whatever reason you can still draw unemployment with a 6 week (I think 6) penalty but it will start coming in, as long as you are willing and able to work.
They also have a new thing for pregnant mothers and unemployment or newborn time, I only glanced at it when my husband drew a few weeks in between jobs last spring so I dont know all the requirements but I would call the UI center today and find out.

Answer 3

I am literally going through the exact same thing. You have a few options. #1 If your husband has insurance through his work, he should be able to add you on due to life event changes without waiting for the open enrollment period. #2 Go to your county health department to apply for Healthy Start/Healthy Families. There are certain criteria to be met regarding income, etc. but usually they will be able to provide you with some kind of health coverage up to 3 months after birth, and baby will be covered up to the first year. I don't know what your financial situation is, but I recently took a part-time job until after the baby is born, and am receiving benefits from the county. Unfortunately my fiance is self-employed, so we don't have the option to use his insurance for baby, and COBRA was waaaaaayyyy too expensive for us to afford.

Answer 4

Don't feel guilty about it, life is to short for such things. We all have set backs in our life from time to time. As far as health coverage for you and the baby you can apply and get state medical health coverage that will take care of the expenses. Until you are able to return to work again. Guilt will only put unnecessary stress on you and the baby. And you don't want that. Good luck, best wishes. And congratulations on your baby. Take care and only take one day at a time thats all any of us can do.

Answer 5

It's not your fault you were downsized. You will be able to collect unemployment and even though Cobra (insurance after you leave a job that is required to be offered to you) is expensive it is better than nothing.
Try not to dwell on your situation, focus on how exciting it's going to be to have a baby soon.
There is a lot of state assistance available to someone in your situation and they were designed for people like you. Find out what you qualify for and don't be ashamed to accept it, everyone needs a little help now and then.

Answer 6

do not worry hun. you may qualify for medicaid. and there are always jobs out there, yes its harder to find one when your pregnant but theres always someone nice enough to understand the situation. since you got fired you could go on unemployment untill you find another job. and it isnt your fault that the company was downsizing, it isnt like you could realy stop it.

Answer 7

you will find a better job in the future.Dont stress out of it..that wont be good for the babies health either.through out life you will experience set backs and this is just a small bump in the road.you will look back on this as geesh i cant believe i was so worried about that.

Answer 8

I would take them to a tribunral!! By law (UK) you cannot get sacked when you are pregnant (even if they are downsizing!)

Answer 9

just relax