We're currently at the point where he wants a divorce, he says he can't handle being with me knowing that I have not been 100% honest with him, my biggest problem is that there is 1 more credit card where we owe 9,000 that he is not aware of... I dont know if I should just tell him about it or wait to see what happens, I really wish I could make things work with him, I love him dearly, he's a great man, a great father, he's just a little narrow minded and only sees the negative things in me, he's constantly telling me how everything is my fault, look at where we are because of you, I trust my dog more than I trust you, he evn told my children I am leaving because your mom is a liar. My daughters are 6 & 10 I think this was a little harsh for them to handle, I have spoken to my family and they feel he suffers from an inferiority complex, we are both very hardworking adults, I just recently returned to school and obtained my MBA please see other post..
2007-10-08 01:36:37 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No matter how angry he is with you, he should never bring the kids into the argument.
Get counseling, immediately.
2007-10-08 01:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading all 3 of your posts…
You handled the finances and failed to inform him that you’re $14,000 in debt ($9,000 of which he’s still not even aware of)? Of course he’s angry. I would be too. Even though the debts are justifiable (due to purchasing and remodeled a home), you still failed to inform him. And even if you may not have actually ‘lied’ about it and even if he never specifically asked 'how far in debt are we', I’m sure he still expected you to keep him informed.
The comment that he made to the children (“I am leaving because your mom is a liar”) was completely inappropriate.
But, I fail to see how your family has deemed him to have an ‘inferiority complex’ because of this situation (and you didn’t state that claim was based on anything else). How does the fact that you’re in a financial bind/in debt, he was completely unaware of it, and is now upset over that, equate to an inferiority complex? It doesn’t.
Have you discussed this with him (calmly and rationally)? Have you accepted responsibility for failing to keep him informed? Have you…I don’t know…maybe apologized for it? Do you have a plan of how to ensure that it doesn’t happen again? If you have any hope of saving the marriage, you’re going to have to do those things.
2007-10-08 02:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused about one thing. How did he think you were paying for the renovations and bills and such? Also, his leaving won't help the financial situation any; he is responsible for the finances, as well as you. Do you think he is just so very angry at you because he wanted you to be honest and open with him about the bills? I'd sit him down and talk to him and get a plan in action to minimize the debt you are in. Good strategy is to pay off the small bills first and pay minimum amounts on the larger ones. After small bills paid off, take the money you would have used to pay them and add them to one of the larger bills; they will eventually get paid off. You can get out of debt. Learn from this and be open with him, in the future. Also, cut up those credit cards and save for what you want when you are able to do so. Get a solution to your debt, talk with him about it and see the light at the end of the rainbow.
2007-10-08 01:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about the card. Then show your willingness to be completely honest with him by giving him all the credit cards. Immediately, get some credit counciling and marital counciling. Under no circumstances should your kids be brought into the disagreements.
2007-10-08 01:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by Zuker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋