My hubby wants another kid?

Question

My husband blurted out to me last night that he wants another child. I have always said that i didnt want another one. We have a daughter who is 7 and his son stays with us on weekends he is 10. Aparently he has been thinking about it for the last year or so but never had the courage to tell me till now, because he knows how i feel about it. I dont know whether i could have another one or whether im getting too old? Im 31 and me hubby is 29. I just dont know what to do hes got me thinking now and now im stuck?????

Oh and we have been together 9 years and married 8

Answer 1

sweetie you are not too old to have a baby, but you do need to sit and talk to your husband about this, if you really don't want another baby then you do need to tell your husband and explain why, it must have taken a lot for your husband to admit he wanted another baby to you and you need to find out how passionate he is about having another baby, there is eight years between my two children and i didn't want another one after my son, but my husband did, we had a good talk and weighed up all the pros and cons, in the end it just happened my daughter is the best accident i ever had, my son was eight when she was born and i felt that he was getting older and we had a bit more freedom to do things we wanted and another baby just didn't appeal to me, but it happened anyway and it has all worked out, so if your feeling like you are just getting your life back don't worry it is normal , but talk to your husband don't let this become a battle ground topic, if you can find it in your heart to love another baby go for it but tell your husband you want him to help with the new baby as well this way you won't feel like you are doing all the work, and you never know it could be the icing on the cake for your marriage, best of luck honey

Answer 2

You are not too old to have another, I had my third at 35 and although I always felt tired it was the easiest birth I ever had.
Perhaps you had a bad time with your first one, you dont state this, if this is so then he should understand that you dont feel you want to do this again.
Kids can drive you crazy as usually Mothers are the ones who have to cope with the tantrums most of the time, but if you both share all the responsibilities of bringing up a child then really you should sit down and take some time thinking about it. Dont leave it too long to decide because your clock is ticking away. Ask yourself...is he a good Father?....will you all be able to cope with another.......would having another baby make you feel trapped...those sort of questions. What was your reasons for saying that you did not want another and have those reasons changed. Its sad that he has been thinking about this for a year and not felt able to talk to you about it. You both need to talk without getting upset, ask him to write down 10 good reasons why you should have one and you write down 10 good reasons why you should not, compare notes and see what happens. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are not too old to have kids! But this is going to be a make or break situation. Talk to him and tell him you do not want another kid and give him real good reasons why you don't. If he can't handle it then most likely it will put a little bit of a strain on the relationship. It's a big thing for a guy to say he wants another kid. So just talk to him and tell him how you feel. Thats all you can do.

Answer 4

If you do not want another child having one because he does isn't a good reason to bring another life into this world.

Your not to old, but you have to think.... if you have a child now you will be almost 50 when this child is grown. Do you want to be raising a child at that age? Maybe you should point out to hubby that in 11 years your youngest child will be grown... point out all the time the two of you will then have together to enjoy life without your kids at home. I know that is what my hubby and I look forward to! We can't wait for the time when we can enjoy each other without all the worries of the kids.

Answer 5

You both need to sit down and list the pros and cons of another baby. List the reasons you don't want another one as cons. Remember to consider if you can really afford another one too. Also, at 31 you are NOT to old to have a baby. You know, while you have clearly stated that you do not want another one, your husband has repressed his feelings on the subject for a year. It should not have to be that way in a marriage. Time to really sit down and talk it over.

Good luck!

Answer 6

My sister in law was 42 when she had her daughter. I was 33 when I had my youngest son.

So 31 is not too old. If you aren't in to though, you may want to think it over a lot. You will be the one expected to give the most care of the child.

Of course when it is born you will fall in love with it. When you are older you will appreciate having more children around you, to give you more grandchildren. Family is the best thing in life.

Answer 7

Don't just shut him down. Have a think about it. You may realise that with your husband's love and support, you really do want another one.

Don't do anything like this if you don't want one though. Just think about it.

If you do decide to have one, seek certain concessions from him, such as he's on midnight feeding duty, nappy duty, and housework duty. lol. You know he'll say yes to everything, and you'll end up doing it anyway, but at least you are in the right if you nag him for not doing it cause he said he would.

You're not too old!! Not by a long shot!!

Answer 8

Since the other two answers here are more along the lines of sexist comments, let me suggest a couple of things - even though everyone will say this is the obvious answer. First, sit down and talk to your husband about this - find out why he feels so strongly aobut it, and tell him why you feel the way that you do. Second, get someone involved that you trust to cousel you through this decision. These conversations that never happen can destroy your relationship!

Answer 9

You're not old honey!! 31 is still a normal age to have another baby...but that is if YOU want to. I would consider it. Children are so fun and such a blessing. Granted you have 2 already, but 3 is a nice number. If you guys have the time and money I say go for it!

Answer 10

Your 31 so it's not impossible.How ever.

Have you looked at it from a financial stand point , he pays child support for his son right? plus your daily living costs , can you afford a 3rd child ? and what happens if you split ? can you see yourself raising 2 children alone hoping he'll take the same responsibility of your 2 shared children that he does with his oldest child?

You have to think outside of the box not just in the safety of love and marriage .If you can answer yes to all the above then hey go for it I mean babies are so sweet and they smell good , ok they also keep you awake all night and they get sick and teeth and cry and oh the joys.