I broke up with my ex boyfriend about a month ago. I've just started seeing someone new, and I really like this new guy. He's really sweet, and he does things that my ex never did. He doesn't seem to mind the fact that I am one of those people who need constant attention. I can talk to him all day while he's at work on email, then turn around and talk to him for hours on the phone when he's at home and not get bored. But lately, I've started missing my ex, and I find myself wondering if I made a mistake. Sometimes I still wish we were together. I feel bad because I know this new guy really likes me and wants to be with me. I need some advice, and please don't be rude to me, I already feel like crap over the whole situation.
2007-10-07 21:30:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, I probably do sound immature and ridiculous, but I have a serious problem that I'm not going to get into, except to say I am in therapy for it. He knows this, and he understands. The reason my ex and I broke up is because it was very long distance. He's in the army, in another country. And I never said that this new guy hasn't tried to make a move. He has, I've told him I want to take things very slowly.
2007-10-07 21:53:56 · update #1
Lady, you already have a new guy who really likes you, what more can you ask for? I think you only miss your ex cause maybe your new guy is acting like your ex before. I think you should focus more on the present that keep on looking back on the past. move forward with your new guy.
2007-10-07 21:34:20 · answer #1 · answered by polgas 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
First of all, you did not mention how long you were with your ex boyfriend and that is an important issue. The other thing is that it is natural to feel uncertain because you did not have your time of mourn. I mean, a relationship died and you need time to clean yourself and your spirit from that relation.
You said you started to go out with this new guy just a month after breaking with your ex...you said you are a person who needs attention, but still it does not justify that you start seeing someone in terms of replacing someone that was there before...specially if that "someone" lived in your heart for a long time. If you still have feelings for your ex, I suggest that you can stop seeing the new guy for a while. Do not use him just to fill in an empty space.
You guys can be friends (maybe that is what you need right now, NOT a boyfriend) You need someone to talk to, someone who can listen to you...and thats what friends are for.
Let time flow...like a river...maybe the waters can bring your ex back...
Wait a little bit before starting a new realtionship, otherwise you will regret it.
In my country we have a saying: all new broom sweeps well...
Good luck
2007-10-08 04:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by Arsenico 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say why you broke up with your EX. And do you think the problem (reason you broke up) is resolved? Now the reason you are missing your EX, is because this new guy is all talk and no Action.
A woman needs to be held or caressed, and person to person talking is always better than over the phone.
So the next time you talk to the new guy invite him over and see if he can rock your world, if he can't tell him he will always be a friend but never a Lover.
P.S: If y'all being talking for over a month and he haven't tried to make a move. Maybe he's Gay or has another problem like he is Dense.
2007-10-08 04:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do require a lot of attention---and you are lucky to find the new bf who seems to go along with this. I think you should forget the fantasy of your ex.....this is only in your thoughts and you do not have any idea that he feels the same for you...probably not and he has moved on with other relationships. We only need to stop and get a hold of reality---why did we break up with the ex? those reasons are still there and chances are---you, again, would break up with ex.
Dont throw away a good guy who is trying very hard, but I would suggest you require less attention, because it sounds like the good guy will not be able to keep up with that forever.
2007-10-08 04:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by skyward 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not presenting yourself very well. You come off sounding like you're flaky and immature. Don't be proud of the fact that you think you need constant attention, because this gets old fast. Not many guys will put up with it for a long period of time. You can't play with the guy's feelings so if you can't make up your mind, move on. Dump both of them and find another. There's always another guy.
2007-10-08 04:41:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe you should follow your heart to happiness BUT before you do always think and remind yourse;f of a few things because sometimes your heart can lie to you. so ask yor head
why did the last relationship break up
are you really happy now
wer you really happy then
are you in a rut and bored
do you really want to settle down at this moment or play around
are you having fun
do you still see other friends
do you go out and socialise
and lastly give things a litle time because getting over a relationship that has ended is a bit like grieving
2007-10-08 04:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can truly answer this one except you. My best advice would be to take your time making up your mind reguarding your decision.
I know this sounds corny, but maybe writing down all the good and bad things about each guy will help give you some direction.
2007-10-08 04:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by forlotsadaisies 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you should have a heart- to-heart talk with your ex. Then, you will know how he feels about you. If he just wanna be friends,then choose the new guy. But, don't let your relationship be a sorrowful case.
2007-10-08 04:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by HAPPY APPLE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you were probably on the rebound. Move on, He became your ex for a reason, you emotions are normal but if you decide to go back to your ex do this new guy a favor and call it quits first.
2007-10-08 04:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Rina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to list the good and bad points of each. Then you can determine what is best for you. Sometimes we just miss our past, but it does not necessarily mean that it was the best thing for us. It just means that it was so comfortable.
2007-10-08 04:39:44 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋